I'd been feeling really sick that day, as in groggy and only half awake cause the pain in my head was white hot and I'd had this deep feeling that something wasn't right. My mother and sister were just hopping out to town and after a brief deliberation with myself I finally conceded and asked if I could tag along.
Normally me and my sister bicker about who gets to sit shotgun, but this time I didn't start a fight and instead slipped into the back- It might be irrelevant but it felt like the beginning of the downward spiral.
We'd just pulled our car round the corner from our house when I began to feel really uneasy, that sense of foreboding anxiety you get when you know something is going to happen, so I grabbed the shoulders of my mothers chair and held on, I knew in my heart of hearts that something bad was going to happen, and at that point I would have told my mum to slow down- as I often do when I get these feelings- but she was at her wits end with trying to sort me out- but that anxiety grew, and I was just about to voice my uneasiness with them and say 'Something doesn't feel right' and grab my mom's shoulders to hold her back when The collision came and we hit a car straight on, that had just pulled around a corner with an illegal maneuver at about 45mph and everything buckled.
I'd only had the premonition about five seconds before the collision came, but I told my mum what I had been about to do and she dismissed me. But it didn't stop there, I was in no way injured by the accident- but when I got home my head ache was alight, it felt like cotton in my head and I was seeing black and white and literally cried myself to sleep in mental pain. After the accident happened though, the anxiety had left, the paranoia that something bad was going to come left as well and I couldn't help but feel slightly relieved and liberated. The next morning I woke up fine, but I just don't understand- I also told my psychology teacher what happened, and she explained that after the accident, I could have convinced myself that that was what was going through my head and kind of created myself a false memory.
I'm definite of what I saw and experienced, and I just don't feel like I'm being believed. I was kind of frightened about what I had felt rising before the accident, and I cried for a while because I didn't understand why I would need to know that was coming. I felt like it was my fault for not saying something, for keeping quite when I could have said something and stopped the whole thing from happening, and knowing that I saw it coming and did nothing is torture.