In advance, this is a very long post, I do need help trying to figure this all out. I don't think I can turn to very many people I know with this information, no one who will understand I guess. I mean, my family has sure had its weird happenings over the generations but every time something unexplained happens to me they automatically think I'm over-reacting. I am close to my family but at the same time, very distant.
Recently I've been looking at everything that has happened to me in the past regarding psychic experiences, ghosts, visions, etc. Etc.
It all started before I was born. There were a couple times that the doctors lost my heartbeat and started to think I was dead but my mom prayed and vowed that I would know God. Shortly after, my heartbeat was found.
(My mother told me this next piece) One night, when I was very young and still in a crib I was crying loudly. My mother looked over to my father and saw the covers flip up and someone get out of their bed, thinking it was my father going to check on me, she tried to go back to sleep. I continued to cry and my mother found out my father had not gone to see me. They never identified the male silhouette that visited that night.
There have been many times that I have seen ghosts and reported them to my parents, disregarding the voices that whisper in the back of my head "They won't believe you," though they are always right.
Many days I wake up and see my own reflection and get confused because it is not me, but at the same time, it always is me, I'm just not used to looking like I do I guess. I find myself trying to identify what's different about my appearance but I have nothing to visually compare it to.
Ever since this year started I have been seeing shadows and having these horrible headaches that seem to come out of nowhere and they take over my mind. I have never been one to have head aches or migraines often, maybe 1 or 2 a year. This year, it has been almost daily so far.
Along with my headaches I have seen the silhouette of the man. All black, no features, but not menacing at all. Protective almost. He has stood around my room and by my bed as I've been sleeping.
There was one instance where I had an uneasy feeling, one that was not usual when the silhouette was present. I heard an audible voice, a woman's saying, "Anna," This sparked fear in me, I had never had a spirit or something like that speak to me before. At that moment I prayed and prayed for an Angel to watch over me.
There have been little, harmless tricks played between me and an unknown force of some sort. Though they only happened a few times.
I've had dreams about birds falling and people trying to help them fly again, only to injure them more. Then the bird would become a man in a business suit who would die shortly after his change. It seems like just a dream but it feels like something more.
I had another dream where people were getting phone calls and then dying shortly after. I felt like it meant something and oddly enough, the next day I was teaching Sunday school and the title of the day was "God is Calling".
I've always felt like my family is keeping something from me, something important, about me, I have come to them begging for them to tell me but they have no idea what to say because they have always been honest with me.
I've always wanted a regression or to talk to a trained psychic to see if they can get some answers but my mom has never been fond of the idea.
Lastly, I'm finding now that, though they aren't voices, they are sort of like voices portrayed through feelings, I don't know how to explain it, but they are telling me what to do with my life. I have been very studious when it came to biology the past couple years but now that I know what I 'feel' I need to know, I have been 'given' a new study.
I'm not really sure what any of this means and there are so many components, I can't sort through it alone but apparently it's harder to explain all this to people you love.