Life Thus Far

Seeing as this is my first story on here, I'll post about my childhood. As a child, I was always able to speak to my spirit guide, Utheria (I don't believe I'm spelling her name right, sadly). She would tell me if it was going to be a good or bad day, and what kind of this were going to happen. I was also very shy as a child, so I wouldn't approach people almost at all. Until one day I was at the store and took a stranger's hand. This caused confusion and disbelief in my family and the stranger, until I told them they were a twin. This continued, and I'd always hold hands with strangers who all were twins. In fact, I myself am one, which is why I believe I have that connection. I was also able to know people's emotions, and even their exact thoughts! Not all of it was a fun time, though. Growing up, I'd been ridiculed or looked at horribly by adults in my church, by school children, and the teachers. I'd soon had enough of it, and shut out my abilities as best as I could, praying to a God that answered only one wish, the wish for me to become as close to normal as was possible.

Years passed, and I had always been sensitive, even with the blockage of that one wish. I always stayed close to the ghosts and paranormal even with the closed door. I'd ended up knowing when family members would die, or if things would turn out fine. Then, around my thirteenth or fourteenth year, I started to open back up. I started to study Wicca and all sorts of religions or spirituality I could come across, and ended up sticking with Wicca. A bit before I made an official effort to study it more, I got my first set of tarot cards. I learned and studied them continuously until I knew them by heart, which opened me up to being able to read people again. Not mind reading exactly, but divination. I started to gain more of a grasp on my abilities, and was at a convention for anime one late evening. Around 11 P.M, I was outside ready to go home as soon as possible. The energies and such were getting to be too much for me at that point, so I waited outside in the dark. The city wasn't completely abandoned and I couldn't sit still. I walked around the block a bit, head slumped and I was extremely tired. However, I had the sudden need in me to look confident and to walk like I was going to a specific place. I was alone at the time, but the voice was so clear to me. I believe she was Utheria telling me to seem like I was just passing through. I felt like I was being watched the whole time. Thankfully, my car arrived and I left for the night.

The next day at the convention, I learned a girl had been kidnapped around 11 P.M. The night before, right around where I was, as I saw the girl before she was kidnapped. This made me freak out. The police found the girl within the day, of course. I just couldn't get over the fact that I was there. I was and still am completely convinced that it would've been me, had it not been for my spirit guide. Later on, I got into Wicca. I studied and studied, until at one point I realized I had seen the pentacle before. I remember as a child, I was visiting a book store, and I had wandered into the New Age section. I found a black book with a golden pentacle on the cover. Before I could open it up or really even look at it, the adult I was with took it away and told me it was the Devil's work. I, of course, nodded solemnly and we left in a hurry due to my "disturbing" curiosity. I knew that they were wrong about the book, that I now know as a Book of Shadows. I didn't bring it up with them again, but as we were leaving, I recall talking in my mind to the sky say, "I know they're wrong. That book's not bad." The sky was such a deep blue that day. And a more recent event throwing me further into this cryptic world was my cat. I've always loved animals and could connect with them as if they were my family. We've never needed words to speak. A few weeks ago, I was sitting outside with my three cats. The cat I'm referring to was Saya. The day I was out there, I decided to love her, pet her, and tell her goodbye. I knew it'd be my last chance to hold her while she was still there. She was a very sickly and dense cat, always ill, injured, or sitting in front of cars in the road. The next day, I found what used to be her body. I didn't cry, I just buried it. I was connected to her soul, not her body. I just moved on. I'll miss her, but that's okay. As for my tarot reading, I've improved to the point where I'm paid for it without asking. My precognitive dreams are also becoming more frequent, and I feel like the world is brightening up around me.

I just wanted to post this as a place of reference for myself and others. Thanks for reading, if you have something to say or add on about your experiences, go for it! Also, If you have any information on how to break down the walls you've psychically put up, I'd love to know!~ Sorry if it's so long, I just wanted to get it out there for the future.