This started as any other day.
I awoke and left for work.
While at work my Ex-girlfriend messages me (we are still good friends) and asks me if I want to get my food I left in here fridge. I of course said yes.
I arrive at her house by car at 4:15 PM. I go into her house, and I'm immediately overwhelmed, (due to her being in a robe with no clothes underneath)
However, I maintain composure.
Now to the juicy part.
She asks me if I'd like to stay and play Cthulhu Fluxx, I accept. We play about 4 games, and she then ask me if I want to keep playing cards. My eyes get wide, I stop breathing and stare at her for about a minute without blinking.
I shake my head "no" slowly.
After doing so I sit on the couch, she goes to the bathroom, and she comes back and lay on the ground stretched out in front of me (still In robed). She asked me again what I wanted to do, yet again the same ritual as above. Then I take my left hand and extend my bottom three fingers out while tip of index finger to tip of thumb. (Which I just looked up to be the Gyana Mudra the Mudra of Knowledge)
Pointing it at an acoustic guitar that I play once or so a week. I continued to do this until she spoke the words for my, "you want to play the guitar" I said yes.
I went to the guitar and picked it up to see it felt heavier. I plucked some strings, It sounded horrid. I tuned it (I've been playing guitar for 10 years)
After tuning it, I start to strum, it sickens me, she asked me why I stopped playing, I told her it just doesn't sound right. She told me that her friend hazel came over and played some black metal on it. Now it starts to make a little sense. I put the guitar away, she thinks I'm jealousy or intimidated.
Now to the even juicer part.
I tell her I have to leave, and I got to my car and it doesn't start, unusual, On my steering wheel sits an almost blue grasshopper (my windows don't work. Always up) I call her up, and ask if I can come inside until my car decides to work again, she says ok. Going back through the door was hard, I nearly stumbled. (always sober also)
She says I have what she says is an Anxiety attack, she walks me through a ritual that cures Anxiety, I'm honestly going crazy at this point. (I'm 26 years old, and I've never had this issue, or anything resembling this)
The final part of the ritual was going to the mirror and looking at myself and finding 1 good thing about myself, physically. She leads me there (I'm a good looking gentlemen and have never had a problem getting any attention in that manner)
However when I looked in the mirror, it felt as if I just stared into a bright light and immediately felt like a vampire would in that case. I then started to feel tears running down, she lifts my face occasionally for me to look into the mirror, and I am about to throw up.
Still feeling horribly overwhelmed, I finally manage to look into the mirror and force out of my mouth a good physical thing about myself. My eyes go wide again. (I'm naturally low eyed? Stoner looked I guess they say) I suddenly feel stronger, and with this I ask her if she has any white sage, she says yes and leads me to the living room, I take the stick and light it, my body is waving back and forth as I do and my hands shaking.
Eyes closed the entire time, I take the lit sage and start walking along the corners of the living room circle back to center, kitchen corners center, the living room closet, and out, the bathroom and out, then her bedroom. I start along the corner which leads to the closet. I then cannot move and start to almost throw up again, I can't physically move any further, instead I get pushed back. And I stare wordless, emotionless; she takes the sage from my hand and rushes in to do the task. Instinctively going towards the back left corner where I was staring almost as if there was something there I couldn't comprehend, she thoroughly takes care of the closet and hands me the sage back, I take it and finish the room. I hand her a piece we sit down in the center of her living room and wait for the sage to completely burn away, she puts the sage at her heart chakra and she guides mine at my throat chakra, near burning skin, and she says that the smoke avoids the middle of my throat and she guides it to where its more natural for the smoke.
After much sage inhalation, and when it all burns out, she has a self-realization that she doesn't want to be part of the O.T.O anymore, that she wants to find herself religiously again, I say I can tell she needs to, I then say Buddhism. She stares at me with wide eyes and I could tell it was true, she said yes. She has books, we will partake in the study and living by it. We talk about the grasshopper, and its meaning. We talk about the car and why it didn't start, remembering that and getting late, We go out to my car, thinking it needs jumped, I popped the hood, battery is new and alternator is also. I try to start and it doesn't. We look for the grasshopper, under all the seats (cars clean) and everywhere I could think. No grasshopper. I go back to the front of the car and punch the battery, yeah lol I know. But my car started beeping. I hop in and it starts.
We say our goodnights and I leave driving back the grasshopper jumps back on my steering wheel. I freak out a bit more than I should at first then continue to stare at it, it jumps away and I leave it in my car of course, this all happened last night 10/11/2015
What does the grasshopper showing up to me mean?
Why did my car not want to work, could that have been deeper than just a connection issue occurring at the moment?
Do you feel as if I properly cleansed the house, or will only time tell?
What of the guitar?
Was I possessed, it felt like an out of body experience. (connection with astral traveling and the grasshopper)?
Anything else you can answer?
I feel as if the sage worked, but only temporarily. She kept inviting this person into the house, even knowing that was the issue, and I when I returned it was a real heavy feeling again. I decided to remove myself from her on all levels. It won't solve her problems, but if someone can't help themselves, why try. I have looked into the grasshopper symbolism and realize that it does mention luck and leaps of faith.
I did make a leap of faith, by facing my truest deepest fears. And now I feel a lot better, since the events.
Thank you for giving your insight on this, It's truly a relief to know that the issue, wasn't anxiety. As mentioned I feel a lot better now that I'm not communicating with her anymore, but all I can do is hope she realizes what's going on in that house.