One of my main concern is that people won't believe what I'm saying. I say this because I've expirienced things that many people have already seen or heard of. I'm skeptical of many things because of the amount of TV and articles write on most sights, but I now believe. I say this because a relative recently pointed out that I may be a "medium". I'm ignorant about most paranormal or supernatural expiriences. Meaning I don't really know what it is I'm dealing with; until I recently began doing research on what it was.
It started all the way when I was four years old. My family had a play room, filled with barrels full of toys. I wanted a power ranger from one of the barrels so I went for it. I didn't get the power ranger, but I saw a man standing before me. He looked like he could be over seven feet easily. He wasn't my dad, my grandfather or anybody I knew. That's when that fight or flight instinct kicked it, "you don't know him".
My eyes watered, I couldn't move, I was pretty much paralyzed. My grandmother was my savior. She grabbed me turned the lights out and then back on real quick. I looked over her shoulder, but he wasn't there anymore. That was the first time I saw "something". I still don't know what it is to this day but I still see them. I'm 19 years old and it's still vivid in my mind.
I'm not going to tell my life's story, but I can't tell you about her without telling about what she did before I knew it was even her. Fast forwarding to the summer of my sixth grade year, I was in Florida sleeping in a couch next to my brothers when I woke up. The TV was on static, I knew it had an auto off feature for the cable so I turned the cable box on. It was maybe two or three minutes before I noticed a tapping noise in the kitchen. I looked back but I count make anything out.
I'd switch channels trying to change up the lighting in the room, mostly because I was scared (still scared) of the dark. The light switch was near the kitchen door and I wasn't going to go for it. I watched an advertisement on cartoon network when I heard it again. A faint tapping, it came from the kitchen stove. I was worried now because I wasn't hallucinating.
I don't know if these "things" could smell fear or anxiety, but it revealed itself. A small figure came hopping behind the kitchen stove. I couldn't make out any specific features so I'll the outline. It looked like the outline of a small person covered with porcupine hair. It's feet were the things that kept making the sound over and over. I don't know if it didn't have any hands or what, but it began hopping towards my brothers direction.
My brothers were asleep, my dad and step mom were asleep. I was the only one awake. I was too scared to move, so I screamed my brothers nickname. "Joseito!", I shouted. My brother woke up he looked at me and then at the kitchen. Nobody was there anymore. The rest of that night I stayed awake with my brother and the TV on.
It wasn't until 8th grade that I started having these nightmares. Ones that you would question if they were real or not. I know this deviates from the story a bit, but she's the reason why I'm writing this. I was up in a tower, it was windy, and I saw a crow next to the window. There was hay all over the floor, and black stains were all over the grey bricks. I thought it was real, I felt like I'd been there before. A knight came into the room, he spoke to me in a tongue I wasn't familiar in. I didn't understand anything, but my lips moved. They said something and he closed the door behind him. That's when I heard chains russling through the hay and clattering along the floor.
I've read stories of soul mate and communications and dreams, but she isn't any of these. A blonde woman in a white a ruined white dress came out of the shadows, she was crawling. I understood what she said. "Save me. Take me with you.", she said. It was like you could only see in the dream, whoever I was, was completely in control. All I could do was watch.
I knew her from somewhere, I thought to myself, but I didn't know where from. The person who I was, he was something special to her. He spoke in the strange tongue again, and from my peripheral vision he drew a key. The lady in front immediately took the key and undid both of our cuffs. The crow that was near the window looked in my direction, the blonde looked at him and back at me."We must go before they return.", she grabbed my hands and gave me the key back. She leaned over the window and looked back at me. I followed her lead.
The window was way too small, she couldn't fit through there. The crow hopped on her for arm, then she looked up at me."I'll come back for you", she said. She blurred into feathers and was out the window. The sound of the air conditioner from my room woke up. I was full of sweat, it was morning outside. The last thing I remember from that morning that was distinct was the "cawwing" coming from the backyard.
I thought it was just a dream, nothing special about it. Maybe it was just a really wierd dream? People have those all the time in movies right? The following year I got a girl friend, she wasn't blonde. It felt good to be in a relationship, felt normal. I was no longer a loner, I was "involved". I noticed that I was fairly popular in school. I started getting good grades, I had a singing voice, and my drawing skills had improved. I thought that it was normal you know? Since I was little I had always been good in the art department, but I was never popular or even could have hoped for a singing voice. I thought I was maturing as an adult.
That wasn't completely the case. I went to school, had a great day every day and came home to my mom's cooking. Life was good, I thought everything was going to keep up that way. Then, I had another dream with her; the blonde. It was snowing and I was riding a bike on the cleared sidewalk. It was the same situation over again. I could see through the person's eyes but I couldn't control the body. The view I had was of the handle bars, my hands and the suburbs passing by.
I was heading to her house. The cellphone rang and I picked it up. I couldn't see the screen, but my body chuckled."Hey. I'm almost there.", my body said."Ok. It's getting bad out there. You sure we're going to have enough time?", the voice on the phone said. I recognized the voice vaguely. Where had I recognized it from? When I got to the house, I locked up the bike, combination lock. I knocked on the door, a small boy opened the door."Mom! Jay's here!", he called.
That's the first letter of my name. How the heck did he know that? I'd never met these people before, yet they knew my first names initial? An older woman came to me gave a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You made it. Want some cookies?", she asked. "Naw I'm good. Um, she called me over? Wanted my help on a project or something?", I asked. "Hmm. Yeah she's up stairs. You sure you don't want any? You know how much your mom loves them.",she smiled.
I just said, "uh, yeah. Sure." I headed upstairs, the little boy just stuck his tongue at me and ran away. I walked up turned left. Second door on the left, right near the bathroom. Immediately I recognized the house. It was my aunts but these people weren't my family. Yet, I still went into the room. It was her. Usually if something scares you or frightens you in a dream, you'd wake up. I didn't, instead I got my senses back.
"Hey! I told you I'd see you again.", she said. I could control my body now. It's a rare instance in a dream where you can control what you can do. I had control of my body now, I could control what I could say, I could finally ask how she got out of the tower! I could ask her how she knew me, how she could know me but me not know her? I could ask her how she lived so long, the last dream came back to me in a flash. The last dream occurred sometime in medieval times. Because of what she wore and the time and place.
The thing was, I couldn't speak. Everytime I tried to say something, nothing came out. It was creepy the way she knew I was trying to talk but couldn't. "You trying to tell me something?", she smiled, she moved closer." I know what you want to say.", she kissed me. "I love you right?", she giggled. I felt like I was cheating on my girlfriend in real life. It felt like I spent an hour rolling around in bed with her. I felt the pleasure, the lust, everything. Before I woke up she told me "I'm yours forever."
I felt crazy, alive, ecstatic, nausea, and guilty. I felt she was real, I wanted her to be real! A shadow of a bird flew by my window. I heard multiple crows outside in the backyard. I looked at my little step brother who slept on the other side of the room. He was sound asleep. I looked outside the window. It was still early, no cars, no birds, except the two crows on the old stump of the tree. That year ended weirdly.
I kept wanting to know more of her, who she was. Why did she pick me? How was she in some dreams but not in all of them? How did she know me when I didn't know her? Was she dangerous? Why did she do the things she did? Why did I like her so much when in reality I didn't really get along with blondes? That took me a step back. I hated blondes, yet I loved her. Could I love a person that sort of kind of didn't exist?
I felt like I was going crazy. I didn't care that I was moving on Christmas, or that I was leaving my friends whom I knew for years. All on my mind was the mysterious woman who had eluded me for two dreams. I'd known her since eight grade, yet I didn't know her name. I didn't have a dream with her in it for an entire year, but that when "they" came back. The shadowy figures, the noises in the other rooms, the apparitions.
I was sixteen when I saw the first one reappear. I was living with my aunt and her relatives. There were five people total in the house. My uncle, my aunt, my mom, my cousin, and me. I was drawing on the far end of the living room, my cousin was on her phone. Me and her had just argued over something and she was being stubborn to everything I said.
This was the first time that any of them had reached for anyone other then me. I felt a coldness come over the room, and it was growing darker. Like a thundercloud was passing over the house. I felt my eyes wander up from my drawing, and a strong chill shiver through my entire body. My eyes rested on the staircase across from my cousin. I almost cried when I saw him. It felt like I was back in my four year old self.
A huge figure walked down the stair way. He wore a hood that seemed to expand and extract with the darkness. His skin was a palish brown. I thought he was here for me, but when he reached for my cousin I immediate knew what he was after. "Hey uh Natz.", I swallowed, she looked at me. The figure was taking his time walking down the stairs. I was holding my urges to go to the bathroom. "Don't freak out.", I warned her,"Come sit over here." She looked at me like I was disgusting. I looked back, that's when he met my eyes. His hand pointed at her as if he wanted to say something to her. That when I screamed, "NATZ! Hold it I'm coming over." I ran to my cousin and stood in front of her. She moved,"What's wrong with you?" I stood in front of her. I was sweating with fear, I felt my like my head was about to pass out.
The figure in front of me pulled back his hand, and then I saw his face. He didn't look angry or mischievous, he looked sad. I almost asked him why was he so sad? The fear immediately went away but I felt super nauseous. I asked him to go, but I didn't say it. I thought it. The man drew back from wherever he had come from, but the room still had the toned feeling.
That was the nth (the one of many times) I had told my family what had happened. I asked my cousin if she saw the man that was pointing at her. She told me she hadnt, and we were back at square one. I felt like I was the crazy one, the loner again. My girlfriend broke up with me a month later. We had been in a long distant relationship but we knew it wasn't going to work.
I was to be enrolled in a new highschool, new people, new faces, new bullies, new places for "them" to show up from. It occurred more often now, I saw them almost in a weekly rate. The halls would always be dark with no one around. I would always be tired and restless in the mornings. It had finally been a year since I had moved over, and it wasn't going to stop. She came back my eleventh grade year.
I was spending time with my family when I needed to get another pen. I turned on all the lights because lately it was raining outside a lot. The house was darker than usual, and it had been a few days since I had expirienced anything. I went to get the pen, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I went to turn off the lights behind me, they shut off by the themselves. I ran downstairs and told them what had happened.
No one believed me. I began to think maybe I had schizophrenia? Or a mental problem that caused hallucinations. I reserved myself from the judgement of others, I promised myself that I would live a normal life and try to ignore these "things". A dream came to me late February of 2014. I was on the bike again. Strangely these dreams were special. Usually a person can't remember most dreams because they either wake up too quickly or something jolts them awake. The dreams she gave me were meant for me to remember, they were meant for me to know. Know why she did what she did.
I almost fell off my bike, surprisingly, I had control of my body. I stopped looked around me, felt the coldness of the snow flakes and the crisp air filling my lungs. The dream felt real. It was a familiar feeling. I knew who I was supposed to find, but when I'd find her; I wouldn't know what to do then. It felt life like. It was one of those rare instances that you know you're in a dream, that's when I began thinking, "Was it possible to learn how to completely control your dreams?" I would have to look that up later. The bike, the touch on the cold worn handlebars felt real, but I knew it wasn't.
I arrived near a Rallies near the end of a turn. People were inside eating, checking out the rides, and there she was; sitting on the bench near one of the windows. She looked sad, that bothered me. She wore a pink sweater, beige pants with black boots and matching mittens. Her hair was blonder than it had ever been. Blonder than the time in the tower, than the time on the bed. Before I walked in, I tested my voice to see if I could talk this time. It worked, everything felt fine. I could talk to her this time.
I opened the door to a lively room. I could smell pizza, hear the lag her of little kids on the virtual rides, and feel the raspy carpet beneath my shoes. When I was making my way to her, I noticed a small envelope in front of her on the table. That wasn't there before, I thought. "Hey.", I chuckled. "Hey.", she forced a smile."What's up? You feeling ok?", I reached for her hand. She grabbed it and put it on her cheek so that I could feel her skin. A tear fell on the palm of my hand, I didn't know what to say. It was like real life, I didn't know what to do when someone cried in front of me.
"Can you sit on this side? You feel so far away right now.", she croaked. I walked around sat next to her, no words left my mouth. She held my hands in hers. She smiled up with tears, giggled and looked down again. We stayed there for a while, hand in hand. I felt like I'd care less if this dream ever ended. Then she said,,"I have to tell you something." I felt her hands leave mine, mine felt cold now. She grabbed the envelope and gave it to me. "I don't want to open it until you tell me what going on.", I said. She looked at the unopened sleeve of paper and then back at me. "I'm dying.", she croaked. The words were really sudden.
It finally sank in after a couple minutes. I didn't know what to say so I opened the envelope. There were diagrams of a body, her body. Words swam in my head as I read them on paper. The only words that stuck out were "...breast cancer." When I stopped reading, she took my hand in hers and braught it to her chest. I felt the beating. Then a word popped into my mind. No. No no. No no no. No! You can't die, is what I wanted to say. You can't leave me! I wanted to scream. All that came our was gibberish with snot, tears and saliva.
I held fast to her body, I felt her warmth. To me, she is real still. The dream ended in a grey blurry hash. That was the first time that any of her dreams had ended in such a wrong way. It felt as if it ended like all dreams did. Abrupt, quick, empty, but it wasn't the last time I had dreamed of her.
I graduated highschool and the apparitions began again. I made that connection just resently. "They" came as soon as she was gone, and "they" went away as soon as she came. She had to do something with them. Shadow people were beginning to appear. I looked them up, researched them. They were bad.
I saw them more frequently, my mother was being terrorized in her dreams. She wasn't sleeping and I had to witness her scream and cover herself with her sheets. My brother called me later on and his news were worse than when she left me in the dream."Hey uh, bro? I talked with God today.", he said to me. Just so anyone knows, I'm not a believer in God, but thanks to her I do believe in gaurdians of sorts. Much like a higher power but not specifically God himself."Yeah? And what did the big man say?", I was frustrated. Not just because I was sick of people trying to push their religion on me but because of how many people believed in somebody they, d never seen. I'd at least seen her in my dreams.
"He told me to look after you. You know? Like grandma said before she passed away?", he said,"So just watch out ok? I'll check on you and mom later." I was worried that he might actually be real, which meant the other guy might be too. I heard my mom scream on some days, I couldn't do anything to stop her from screaming. That's when I asked the big man upstairs for something.
"If you ask God for something selfish he will not grant your plea but he will listen to those who are selfless and pray for someone other than themselves." I asked that whatever was bothering her, to cleanse her of the demons that plagued her dreams. Note to others if you're still reading; never make this wish if you don't know how to deal with the supernatural.
I gave it about a week and my mom stopped screaming. She slept well, and I wasn't worried anymore about her, but lately I was feeling a presence wherever I went. It had been almost a month since I'd seen one of them. Then, I began to have these dreams. I won't forget any of them for as long as I live.
In the first dream I was in a dark mansion, tinted blue and torquiose. I was naked, it was raining outside and no one closed the balcony door. I felt cold, wet and hard leather beneath me. I was on a couch that had molded green. Outside, the world was nothing but repetitions of the mansion, endless. That's when I saw her again, or so I thought.
A hand clamped on the balcony's rusted bars. It was pale, like the rest of her body. Stretched my neck to see her face, but her bangs seemed to cover her face. Her hair was black, not blonde like she had it before. That's not her, I told myself. It's NOT HER. She walked towards me, every movement as droopy as the rain drops. She moaned, but she hadnt even touched me yet.
She spoke no words. I wanted to move, but couldnt. Then she got on top of me, but she wasn't warm. Her skin was ice cold, her thighs wrapped around my two cold snakes. She moaned and I stayed. There was no pleasure, only the cold. When she left me, I didn't miss her. I felt violated, and I'm a man. She wasn't the only one after me.
During those days, I lost weight, I lost health, mentally and physically. I would usually wake up with my cloths drenched in sweat. Aside the rain woman, there was someone higher than her who wanted me. I don't want to say his name, I'll just call him the "man below." The second dream came around October, I didn't think anything funny of it since it was the month of witches and spectres.
I was four years old again, in a carnival without my parents or brothers. That already pointed out to me that something was wrong. Everything looked like a darker versions of themselves. The people wore t-shirts with faded colors. The clowns looked evil, the jesters looked like prostitutes, and the grass was dying. It was warm but cold at the same time, like autumn. No one seemed to see me.
I walked into one of the faded tents to hide from everyone."This way little man.", a man in a suit called. He was blonde, fair skin, and tall. Why did he look so different from the rest of the world? I followed him, dumb as I was. He sat me in a chair, and a man with a turbine encrusted with a red gem came from the folds of the tent. He was tanned like me, he had a pale beard finely shaped to his jaw."Hmmm. You seem...", he hummed,"worthy." He talked in a very low voice almost like mine, but much older. The man behind me snapped his fingers and the chair grew clamps to hold me.
The man with the turbine pulled the gem from his head and it changed shape into a crystal ball. The ball didn't do anything special, until he began to talk. I heard his voice as if a legion of people were speaking through him, and they all told me things that I knew. They told me my faults in the real world, my failures, my lows of my life, they told me no one loved me and that I should trust them if I was to receive my desires.
I woke up crying that day, I told everyone about my dreams and this time they believed; especially my mother. I wouldn't have awoken from my dream if not for the sound of a door closing, which was my mom checking up on me. The last dream I had before I gave up, was the dream of a giant snake. As I said before, I'm not one to be religous. The last dream nothing happened, not to me anyway.
It was musky, smoke filled the air, along with the chatter of men and women. I was at a bar, everything was beige with a hint of black. I felt ok, but I knew who followed me. The man who held me in the chair and the woman from the rain. I knew the man's name, (starts with I) so I said to him not to get closer. He held himself, as if frozen in place. The woman was dressed differently.
She blended in with the environment. Apparently, I had ordered her to come to me. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up. If anyone has ever seen a succubus, I'm willing to listen because I think she was one. Her skin was red, her hair was rounded in a bun with black curls, small horns ebbed from her hair. Her eyes were made of a green gold. Her body was nothing but curves, wearing a silk black dress with color matching heels.
"This is the one you wanted sir?", the bartender asked me. He wore a grin, ear to ear. I felt dizzy. The smoke they breathed whirled like waves in the air. I felt like I was falling asleep in the dream itself. A snake then came into the bar. It was a pale blue with a green and blue pattern on its back. It was the pink elephant in the room, massive yet nobody seemed to be surprised.
It slithered to I (not going to say his full name) and slowly devoured his head. The body fell on the ground, everyone else kept talking as if nothing had happened. Do they not see him? It looked around, and set its sights on me. I was terrified. Nausea began to take hold, I was losing my balance. Then, the snake slithered over to me and the woman. It opened its mouth and chomped the rain woman's head right off her body. There was no blood, just hollow black space.
It'd eyes were brown, just like mine. I thought it was going to eat me, but it just went on its business. Once it slithered past the bar and into the hall way, I fell to the smoke. I woke up sweaty, but not all that bad. I made a guess as to who the snake might be, but everybody had heard of the bible. Mind my words, I still don't want to believe.
I know I've written a lot, but the reason for me writing this is because she came back. After so long she came back. Lately I had been dealing with noises again, and I wanted to just get away from all of the supernatural. Two days ago, I had expirienced a drive that I haven't had in a while. I've wanted to write songs again and sketch again. I was still having a couple of dreams where I would see stuff but not as bad as the ones I had prior.
My most recent dream was vague, but she was there. I was making a film, and this actor wanted to wear a specific type of cologne. Why I didn't want him to wear it, I can't say but, she came as a surprise to me. Suddenly the dream fast forwarded to a rather graphic vision with her and me. I had been wondering where she was all this time (it's been almost a year!) So I decided to look into things seriously. Then, my aunt was watching a film and she told me that I resembled a character in that movie a lot.
Coincidentally, he was a "meduim". The idea has never crossed my mind until now. So I did research and tried to make contact with "her" in particular. I followed a method which you relax in a quiet place, and focus your breathing on which to desire and what you wish to let go of. I was skeptical of this, and recently I had been thinking that maybe I actually was crazy, but an image of two feminine eyes opening up to look at me. I kept the trance going and I saw the white dress and her blonde hair. I saw her face. I'm scared still, to be dealing with something like this, but went ahead still for a second time and I got a name.
Her name means a person who's creative, and is spontaneous and honest. A person who has a large imagination and is genuinely a good person. I got the name today on the second trance. I wrote it on my hand until I was able to look up its meaning, and I got its definition an hour later. I showed my mom who was a skeptic, she's now a believer. As am I. I'm still new at this, still don't know if I have a talent to keep the communication. Any professional advice and tips would be greatly appreciated.