I think I have had several "psychic" type experiences in my lifetime, so I thought I could come here and hopefully get some advice and answers. I don't really know where to start, so I will just start with my background and a few of my experiences. Any input, good, bad, or ugly is greatly appreciated.
Ok, so for my background. I am a 34 year old, married, Christian, mother of 4 wonderful children. I was born, raised and still reside in the hills of Tennessee. I was raised pretty much Southern Baptist and non-denominational. (but this is not about my religion, just giving background) Because that is where many of my confused feelings that I have fought with over the years, stem from. (Also my AWESOME grammar. Sorry in advance.LOL)
1.When I was about 3 (that is as far back as I can remember) I have been seeing/sensing spirits/entities. The first I remember not knowing who it was. We were living with my grandmother because she was sick, my room was a back bedroom, that I did not like. All I remember is this man that stood in the corner or sometimes was laying in overalls on the bed when I came into the room. I threw a typical 3 year old fit and would NOT sleep in the room with the strange man. My mom thankfully didn't make me. (I have recently found out why shd didn't make me, and suffice it to say right now, she had the same issues when she was little only, she was punished because of it) I didn't know who he was, he didn't scare me really, so much as he was just a stranger, a friendly old man, but I didn't know him. Then, one day when looking through pictures after my grandmother's death, I saw his picture, I was maybe 4, and I said, that is the man in my room. My mom informed me that was my grandfather who had died 8 years before I was born.
2.We moved to another house when I was 4, it was over 100 years old, I would NOT sleep in my room there, because there were LOTS of people that came in and out of there, they didn't seem harmful, or scary really, they were just there, some I could see, some I could sense, but either way, that room was too busy for me. There was one I liked, he was Zachius, a little boy about 6 who everyone thought was my imaginary friend. He hung around until I was about 6 or a little older, then he just left.
3.The next thing I clearly remember happening was when I was 8, my mom was remarried by now and we had moved. Her brother who was in the nursing home and had not really spoken in years, (not as long as I could remember) but was awake and knew what was going on, came to me about 9pm one night right after I was in bed. I was like Uncle P. You are all better, and he said "yes, I am. Tell your mom I love her and thanks for caring for me, and I will see you all again someday. I love you" then he walked away into a really bright white light and was gone. I came around and realized that I had either been dreaming or he was dead. Because the conversation didn't take place in my room, where I was at the time that I came around. I ran to my mom's room crying telling her that Uncle P. Was dead, but he was happy. She told me I had, had a nightmare and go back to bed. 5 minutes or less later the phone rang, it was the nursing home and he had just died.
4.That exact same scenario as above has happened repeatedly in my lifetime, just to name a few relatives that have come to me just moments after they have died, include my grandmother, my step grandmother (my step-sister and I were sharing a bed at the sitter's that night and had the exact, IDENTICALLY exact same dream, her ONLY one ever) 3 uncles, an aunt, and various other relatives or close family friends. One uncle even told me what he wanted to be buried in. LOL The few friends and family that know about my dreams/visions always tell me to NEVER dream of their deaths. (jokingly of course and then swear when they die if they can they will come see me. My husband is always teasing me quoting the 6th sense line, saying "You see dead people." always amusing himself with that. I usually only see them moments after they die, on occassion, I have seen my grandmother and my father since they have died, but other than that, everyone else just comes to say bye and with exceptions of a rare dream I don't see them again.
These visions/dreams/ whatever they are have NEVER scared me. They are comforting, they are almost always family, they are always there to say goodbye, and tell me what they want someone else in the family to know, and it always happens within moments after they die. I always know before the phone rings, even in unexpected deaths. These people always walk away into a big bright light, that does not hurt your eyes, but is the brightest warmest thing you have ever seen. They have happened when I am wide awake in the broad daylight, at night while I am asleep, etc. My husband has even told me that he has heard me once when I was sitting up on the bed in the middle of the night, talking to someone, crying and saying goodbye, only to tell me after I came around that he knew someone had died because I was sitting there conversing with someone, like I was awake, but yet, when he touched my arm, I didn't respond. Now that night I was talking to my Uncle, and in my "vision" I was outside, in the yard, it was bright, and warm, but the wind was blowing like CRAZY, and he and I were having to yell to hear each other, over the woooshing of the wind, and then he walked down the yard and just faded into the light, like it absorbed him or something. I told my husband that my uncle was dead, and sure enough a few minutes later the phone rang.
5.When I was 9 months pregnant with my 2nd child, it was actually on my due date, I called my dad one night just to chat and tell him what the doctor had said, well, he was busy, so I told my step-mom, she relayed, and he said tell her I love her, and to hug the babies for me. As soon as I hung up, I felt sick, and my heart ached, literally. I started to call him back but thought I was being silly. That night while I was sleeping, I talked to my Dad, he told me he was going away, but that I would see him again eventually, and that the baby I was carrying had a heart problem and he had to go get help for it. The next morning I was almost hysterical, I went on to work, intending to call Daddy as soon as I got there. My mom walked in my office right behind me and told me my dad had a heart attack and was being flown to another hospital, we drove there, and we waited, we prayed, and prayed, my husband met me there, I told them both that Daddy wasn't going to make it, that there was something he had to do. Well sure enough he died in flight, (mind you he was only 54) the dying in flight was an amazing thing because Daddy LOVED helicopters and always said he would like to die flying over the world in the air, peacefully. Anyway 1 week to the day later I gave birth to my son, he was born with a major heart murmur, and they sent for a pediatric cardiologist, by the time he arrived 4 hours later my son's murmur had completely disappeared. I knew then why Daddy had to leave. What was weird about that one was that I actually talked to Daddy several hours before he died.
The other weird thing is that 2 days after Daddy's death, my husband was holding me while I cried myself to sleep, and he felt someone in the room with us, looked up and started to literally jump out of bed and attack the man standing in our doorway, when he realized it was my Dad, my dad held his hand out, like it's ok, and then walked through the end of our hallway. My husband did not tell me this for over a year, it was his first and only! Sighting of anything, even though his Dad (a southern baptist preacher and masters degreed school teacher) has seen similar visions to mine. My husband never doubted my visions and did not disbelieve that people could see things but he just had never experienced it himself except for one time when he was 9 seeing a demon or satan at the foot of his bed and being wide awake and knowing that it was satan even though he could not make out a face or really even a form, and he hasn't ever seen someone he knew in spirit form except my dad
6.Other shorter instances, of strange things, have been things like seeing dark formless shadows circling my house like they are trying to get in, and sometimes catching glimpses of bright glowing shadows surrounding the house at the same time, like they are keeping the black shadows out. I have seen the same shadows outside my children's rooms before and all I know to do is pray and pray, and they just disappear when I do, and sometimes I even see what I call a "Light Shadow" appear instead.
7.Another thing I find strange that I can do, is communicate with my husband without words over MILES. He works 35 miles from home, I can't call him, he has to call me, but yet, I can need him to call for something and just start thinking about it, and basically telling him CALL ME, but only in my mind and sure enough without fail, he will call and the first thing he says is "what do you need" I always laugh and say "you called me what do you need" and he will immediately respond like I am an idiot and say "well you told me to call". Also, more than once we have had the exact same dream, that seems to point to a future event, and the details are amazingly exactly the same.
8.I work for an ambulance service as a medic, once when I was working at a station 30 miles from home, I was dreaming that he and I and the children were in the woods running from something, he placed me and the children in this half built log cabin in the corner where the logs met, he handed me a gun, and told me not to move or make a sound and shoot anyone that didn't identify themselves to me, I said to him, what if it is you, he said, you will know it is me. Anyway in the dream, I heard someone around the cabin, and I called his name, 3 times, urgently but in a loud whisper. He answered said it's me, I am right here, it's ok, and I woke up, it was 1:26 when I woke up. The next morning, he called me at work and he asked me what I was doing at 1:24 in the morning, I said having a weird dream why. He said "well, I heard you call my name urgently, and I thought, hmmm weird she got off early and the chain lock is on the door and she can't get in, so I got up but before I got to the door I heard you again more urgently, I went to unchain the door but you were not there, then I heard you a 3rd time, I answered you and said, it's me, I am right here, it's ok" and continued to check all the doors, I got a little scared so I even got my gun, finally when I realized the house was clear I went back to bed, it was about 1:26. I told him of my dream, he didn't tell me how I called his name when he relayed the story of getting up and checking the house, but when I said it like I did in the dream, he got really pale, almost ghostly looking and said, that is EXACTLY what he had heard, and he seriously thought I was outside. The strangest thing is, that he was awake and still hearing me, like I was at the door. I mean, we have been together since I was 15, for the most part. We know beyond a shadow that we are soul mates, because we have over come a LOT, including a bad break up, but it seems the more we are together the more psychic he becomes and the more we can communicate without talking. I read his mind all the time. I just KNOW what he is thinking, and he knows when I need him regardless of distance or state of mind. He thinks it the coolest and weirdest thing ever, and so do I but I don't know anyone else like we are, and don't know what it would be called.
9.Last thing and I will stop for this round, and let you all give me some feedback and then ask more questions. Just 2 days ago, my uncle's foster dad passed away, I had been reading on here and in a couple of books I have about contacting your guides, meditation, etc, just exploring the psychic side of things and trying to learn and figure out how I could develop my ability if I actually have one. Anyway, just as an experiment, I tried meditating (I am horrible at it by the way because even though I am not diagnosed I am pretty sure I am ADD) I can't NOT think. Anyway, my mom had just called and told me about my uncle's foster dad and I thought hmm wonder even though I don't really know him, haven't seen him since I was 13, and then only a few times, IF I could pick up anything about him. I didn't even know his first name until my mom called with the news. Well I started thinking about his first name and just going with what came to my mind. I thought/saw hat, and I thought baseball hat and knew immediately nope not a baseball hat, well, then I thought taxi cab and thought that's crazy we don't have those here, then I thought, leather fishing hat. Well anyway after that it was over, and I kept thinking, hmm guess I am not very psychic to get a taxi and leather fishing hat from him. Well while I was typing this my mom just called to give me the funeral arrangements, I asked her how his wife was doing, she said, "well she is ok, now, but yesterday while I was there she really had a rough time," Mom said, the family went and made arrangements and then when they got back, his wife looked over and saw his hat hanging on the rack and realized she had forgotten it, she said, they had to take it back down there because he always wore the same type hat, and he is going to be buried in it. I didn't even ask mom what kind of hat but yet my mom immediately started describing the hat. Telling me it was a leather, hat that looked like one that you would see on a NYC taxi driver, but, that all his
Children and his foster children called it his "fishing hat". I literally almost fainted. It was sooo weird, just her out of the blue telling me that story and the fact that she described it as a taxi hat, but leather and them calling it is fishing hat.
So anyway, now that I have bored you all to tears, let me ask a question or two. I really have several other experiences to share, but alas, I digress.
Do I have a gift? I believe in gifts of the spirit, but also being raised mainly Southern Baptist I have been taught that seeing ghosts of any kind, or spirits of any kind is evil and that good goes on and does not linger here. I don't think I believe that though, because anytime I have encountered anything that is probably evil, I have literally FELT the evil all over my body, I KNEW it was evil. The family and others I have seen have been warm, and comforting, and they don't speak like the evils do and they don't scare me or cause any hairs to raise or anything? I just don't want to be messing with anything that could be evil, and I am not certain of my discernment abilities yet.? Also what about re-incarnation, I mean my hubby and I have laughed and said, we must have been together in another life, because we share the same brain. ANYONE who knows us, will tell you, they joke it with us, that he and I were one person in another life, because we are so much alike. By the way, his birthday and mine are the same, just 1 year apart. We are both Cancers.
Any suggestions for developing my abilities?
Also, has anyone heard of Ethaus or Ethraus, I was trying to meditate inside my white light bubble the other day, and I saw this warm white light that I just knew was a guide or angel, and I asked it, it's name and immediately the names above came to my head. I could be spelling it wrong, and I don't know anything of those names, never have heard or seen them before in my life.
Ok, I have so much more I want to ask, and so much more I want to share, but I will quit for now.
Thanks in advance for your time.
In Christ's Love,
Mom in Tennessee