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Am I A Medium Or Am I Just Going Crazy?

 

I was wondering if anyone could help me understand what I've experienced or confirm if this is all in my head.

I've had a lot of dreams about deceased people. Some are loved ones, family and non-family members but all people I know. In these dreams they come to me and they are always entering through a doorway of some sort, whether if be in a house or a building. They converse with me, cry with me and tell me things. Sometimes it seems the messages they give me are really for someone else and I am suppose to pass the message to someone else.

In addition to these dreams, I've experienced times, usually at night of an unknown presence in my room. One early morning, after my husband got out of bed, while I was still in my bed, I felt someone sit at the foot of my bed. I could even hear the bed squeak as it sat there. I thought it was my husband but when I looked there was no one there.

Being so afraid, it was so hard to sleep at night. I would always feel something in the room. One night I saw an image of a tall man standing over my bed but it was very faint. I could sense that the image or the thing over my bed does not mean me any harm but at the same time, I was just scared out of my wits. I can sense it was a calm spirit or something, almost as if it wanted to say something to me. This went on for a couple of days. I was just so scared to sleep at night. I cry almost every night to my husband. He was very supportive and stayed up until I fell asleep.

One time, I dreamed about my late Grandmother. In the dream she was standing next to my bed as in the exact same setting as my room. When my husband woke me up after hearing me scream or something, I woke up, told him I was just having a bad dream, but when I turned the other way from where I was facing to try to go to sleep again, I saw my late grandmother sitting on that other side too. After screaming, my husband grabbed me to ask what was wrong, when I turned back, she disappeared.

My dad is a shaman so he came over and did a spiritual thing to clear bad spirits from me. Since then whenever I dream about people who has passed away, my dad would always be in my dreams, waking me up from my dream within my dream (weird). (This was all 2 years ago). I was able to go back to living a normal life and having regular dreams and nightmares.

I've recently started dreaming again. This time, my dad isn't so much in these dreams. The weird thing is when I'm having a bad dream or dreaming about someone who has passed away, while dreaming, I know that I am dreaming and I try to wake myself up. I do this by screaming for help, hoping my husband would hear me and wake me up. It's very difficult but after a long and stressful try, he eventually hears me and wakes me up. I again, felt someone sit at the foot of my bed once more. And just as a note, I now live in a different house. One night, my husband must have woken me up 3 times and each time I would fall back to sleep and continue to same dream and I would scream my lungs out over and over again to get my husband to wake me up.

There was even one night where I must have been dreaming the same dream my husband was. When I woke up, he was calling out someone's name, the same name that was in my dream. When I asked what he dreamed, he could not remember.

I went to go see a psychic medium and he told me that when I reach 40 years of age I would become somewhat a psychic medium for healing people and that my guides have only visited me but they won't actually come to me until then. The psychic medium also said my guides questioned why I was upset at them when they are only here to help me. I am now 31 years old.

Still so scared in my own home and unable to sleep at night, I went to go seek another medium. This medium is an aunt, related to me by marriage. She was is new at the being a medium and her responses are through writing (her guides uses her hand to write their responses and she reads it aloud). This aunt told me something different. She told me she did not see me as a medium or having any guides. I don't think she was speaking of the future... But then again, who knows.

I don't know what to believe? Most of the time I tell myself that I am just crazy and that maybe I think too much which probably led to the many odd dreams and the feeling that there is something following or watching me. I feel so bad for my husband for having to deal with my scared behavior each night, I apologize to my husband everyday for being so crazy, weird and that I know this is all just in my head.

I am so confused, scared and don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm getting these dreams, feeling like someone or something is around me. What is happening to me? Can you confirm if I'm crazy or if something is actually happening here?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Kaly30, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

mediumnick (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-03-01)
and it is called clairaudience its when you can see and or feel spirits or sounds. And your not crazy the same thing happens to me so don't deny it embrace it and people have the same experiences all around the world
mediumnick (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-03-01)
your not alone I see deceased people too but while awake and also can't sleep at night but I just close my eyes and eventually fall asleep
Oracle101 (2 stories) (506 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-03-08)
Having trouble hearing your Guides is quite natural. It takes time, as you yourself said. I am happy you finally heard them in your dreams. My Guides are telling me to tell you that your Guides chose to answer your questions in a dream and while you were sick and getting rest because you are a busy distracted wife and "mother of three" kids (which I read in your profile).

This is why teen psychics have decreased abilities while they attend school and date, and why some psychics do not date, marry, or have children. Some even live like hermits such as Leonardo DaVinci, John Dee, Nostradamus, and Howard Hughes (or like an Oracle. LOL)

Everyday life can distract psychics. Crowds can overwhelm us. Concerts can be nerve-wracking. You are married with three kids. Finding the time, quiet, and peace of mind to hear answers and messages from your Guides is going to take time and patience.

(in reply to your question you had posted on my own story.)

Oracle101, Psychic and Medium for 43 years
Always happy to help others
For more advice on this subject and others click on my profile name to read my stories and other posts
Tessalovesmusic (3 stories) (72 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-28)
Any process takes awhile being for example being wiccan you must wait at least a year after your initiation ritual to be considered a witch at all then you have to do another ritual to complete the process. Its a process to make sure you want and will take the path. Congrats on starting on your spiritual path!

P.S. Wiccan is a nature oriented white witch, no satism involved.

Blessed Be,
Tess ❀
Kaly30 (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-28)
Thank you ALL for your responses and the information you've all provided.

I've talked with someone who is a Shaman and she told me that I am gifted with shaminism. Not now, but in a few more years to come will I become a shaman. I was told that I have the six sense and the psychic ability.

I guess this makes sense now, the dream of my spirit guide telling me to wait a few more years, the feeling of the unknown around me, waking up from dreams and still seeing deceased people from my dream...

If any of you are familiar with shamanism, can you explain to me why the initiation process takes so long?
rach-81 (8 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-26)
... Your definately not losing your mind:) that's great news that you are less/not scared now - big step forward you must feel - important to keep it this way to progress as I said before they will feed off this energy - just as they can feed off the positive - for positve and development!:)
As for the dream - it is v v likely this was/is one of your guides giving you message - it is the easiest way for them to communicate with you in the beggining and the message was spot on for you too...! So, the way I first had contact with my guides was through my card reader (this was my v first step in actually havign connection not just interested in it all) I asked her about who mine were and could we have a session to connect with them and find out more about them and why they were with me etc - it was amazing and what followed was me feeling ALL the energy in the room not just in my head but literally feeling it with my body too - the room even changed visually! I would advise you to keep asking -with patience - to feel their presence, opening yourself to your 'highest angels and highest guides'and asking for their help for the highest good. You can meditate with this when ever,where ever. The other thing to do is google protection and opening/closing - this is imperative to only opeing yourself to those with good intention and protecting yourself from those with a negative vibration. (just ask if you want me to clarify this and take you through it x) do you know of any psychic's that have been reffered to you? Try and find/contact someone you know to be one of the best local to you and ask for their help - if they are workign with the best intention and know your troubles, will no doubt help you out - let me know if you would like to get in direct contact with me and I will do my best to share with you everything I have learnt - remember to set your intention and be firm. I would say a morning prayer/message and an evening one too. It doesn't matter if you don't feel/see/ hear anything to begin with or at all - they WILL hear you and your intentions and will work with you but you must persever if you want to progress /control what you have - I bought a book of angels prayers for mornign and evening and can't help but feel through these daily 'conversations' or acknowledgements this has played a major part in the speed of my gift and connection. The book is called "calling all angels" by christine chalenor.
Love and blessings to you xxx
Kaly30 (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-14)
rach-81,

Thank you for your comment and information/suggestions.

I'm trying to accept what is happening to me and trying to or slowing coming to believe that maybe I am not as crazy or losing my mind as I first thought I was.

I'm trying to not be so afraid now, but omg! When it happens again it's hard to not be afraid but I am working on it =)

My question is how do I contact my angels or guides? I guess there are more than one way of contacting them? What was yours? How do I ask for help? I know oracle101 has a posting on his/her page about how to contact your guides. I tried it once, but didn't know what signs to ask for so maybe I didn't get a sign that they were there. I tried meditating once and saw green and red, didn't get any actual response that I could understand but I've noticed not feeling as scared by things anymore. I even had a dream once of a spirit or someone telling me to be patient but it's hard to believe it was a true message from my spirit guide or if I was giving it too much thought which then made the dream happen? I know, maybe I'm over analyzing the whole issue which is why til' this day I am still so lost. Any suggestions?
rach-81 (8 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-14)
it sounds to me like they are being abit forceful - I'm sure with good intent and they don't realise (even if you are screaming) just how much they are scareing you. I have skim read the replies you have so far and would agree you need to give you self protection morning and night. Also be firm with them and ask - coming from a place of love - you are pleased they are coming through and showing themselves but they need to not come in so forcefully. Be clear with this (not fearful) and as someone pointed out - the power of three - tell them three times over. Also call upon your angels and guides - you may not know them but they know you!:) and they can only help you if you ASK - universal law says they can not step in unless you ask. Try not to be scared as if anyone is coming through with ill intent they will just be feeding off this so to speak. I strongly believe you can turn your gift - and that is what it is, albeit it doesn't feel that way right now, - can be turned around with knowledge and intent - you now know you can communicate with those that have crossed, and with learning etc I don't see why you can't work this for the greater good:) . My gift is very new and has progressed SOOOO quickly in just 5 mths - once you get through this period I hope you experiance what I do, as it is truly amazing! Xxxx
Kaly30 (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-09)
india,

Thanks for your comment. So just courios, what did you find if you don't mind me asking after you pieced everything together?

I tried piecing everything that's happened to me but maybe I just need confirmation it is real?

You can email me at kalyvgirl [at] yahoo.com if you don't want to reply here.
PathR (4 stories) (1254 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-08)
Kayla30 You may wish to try Black Tourmaline it is a good grounding stone to base chakra that protects against magnetic smog dispells tension. Can be put under pillow for bad dreams.

Meditation can be as minimal as 10 to 15 minute If you practice with light and grounding to earth this can make one feel very grounded.

It may be your helpers showing themself in Green and red flashes of light. Mine have shown Green to signal things will be going ahead and red stop. For me green is color of my guides as they came back to report back to me with an inquiry I had. But I saw and heard them enter the room with a whoosing sound. So I had 2 defining areas-see,hear to verify it was not a dream.

Definition of guides
As I believe this is personal. Just ask when you feel happy and light and confident about what green and red represents. The helpers and guides are patient.

On Dreams not so clear. You can repeat to yourself you will remember. Keep a pad and pencil upon awakening and write down.

Bless
Kaly30 (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-08)
Cyopathic,

Thank you for your response. Thanks for letting me know you think that I will be okay. Sometimes this is just what I need to hear to help me get through the night. I would love to have a reading if it is possible.
Kaly30 (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-08)
PathR,

Thank you again for the information you've given me.

To be honest I've been afraid to meditate or try to make contact with my guides... Maybe because I'm afraid of what may actually happen next? Or what I will see or hear next? I know...I'm a grown woman but still feel like a child at heart when it comes to this.

But! I did get the courage to, as a start, meditate over the weekend 😊. Thanks for the advise you gave me, "Also take special time to meditate and open to your helpers and guides ask them to reveal themself gently to you".
It has been the BEST thing I've done yet. I took your word on it and asked my guides to show themselves to me gently and to help me not be so afraid. While meditating, I didn't see my guide, I saw lots and lots of Green and splashes of Red every now and then. It was beautiful. What does the colors mean?

Anyhow, since that day my dreams have shifted to a different type of dream. I feel a lot safer now when I dream, I see people but do not know who they are. They don't represent themselves as my guides, but I feel they are supernaturals of some kind - it's hard to explain and I may not even be expressing this correctly. The only downside of my dreams now is that I can barely remember them when I wake. They are very very faint.

The first dream I had after the meditation is of being in a classroom and the instructor wanted us to express our dream experiences... And two nights ago, I dreamed of meeting my aunt (the psychic medium) and her Guide together. Her guide had told me that not now, but in time, maybe in a few years, I will become (I can't remember what he said I would become) but he said not right now.

When I get the courage to, I will follow Oracle101's advise on how to contact my guides and I will try to be more open minded to accept whatever may come, but it's going to take a little time.

What or where do you think this is taking me now? The meditation seemed to have helped alot. I can sleep at night now too. Does the colors I saw during medition mean anything? Why do you suppose my dreams are now so faint?
palmck (1 stories) (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-06)
sometimes I feel the same way, like I'm going crazy...don't know what's going on with me but here's my story.
When I experience something scary it happens, death... When I see things or hear things someones dies in my home community. It scares me a lot sometimes I can't even move, my heart beats so fast. My scariest moment was when I was death, just by thinking of it scares me. I don't what to see it again ever. When I saw it... The next day or two my twin brother past. I guess death was telling me he was taking my brother away or something. I'm sure I've had this since I was a little girl, I'm sure I did, my experiences. How can I control this? What can I do? I can't help. Sometimes I see visions too and sometimes I can sense people's emotions, behavior. It's so weird/scary for me... Some people say I have a gift, I need help. What can I do when I see or hear things? Death is near when those things happen. My dreams sometimes they tell me things, and I sometimes dream of people who pasted on, are they trying to tell me something? I know I have a lot to ask but I really need to know. Am I going nuts or something. Please help
PathR (4 stories) (1254 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-05)
Kayl30
How to be/feel safe.
Protection using white or gold light, some peopole use prayers with visualize because energy follows thought.
If you have any religious beliefs you may feel an alignment with an arch angel use it.
There are rituals people use also medals or symbols for creating a barrier to protect the body.

Understanding universal law such as testing spirits by asking 3 times. It can not lie.
Using your intuition and tools of divination as dowsing to verify what you are being shown or instictively know.

Basic grounding visualize protection connecting to earth or sky. There so much more. Understanding Ancestors ability to support how to open and check if it truly is them.

You will know the purpose of events because it repeats in patterns and as we open to dialogue to helpers an understanding unfolds so we know that we know. No this is not a passing thing.

Sorry these can be easy or complex answers.
Just wanted to address your questions. Sorry for all the words.
Bless
india (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-05)
hi, I ment it will become clear, I had the same experiance a couple of months back, I just waited and tried to piece things together and it worked.
PathR (4 stories) (1254 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-05)
Kayly30 my own experience tells me we move into this incrementally part of this is as our understanding grows we also expand vibrationally all of this ties together. Unless we are raised in a spiritual environment where it is explained and even for my husband whom is genetically wired as his mum he went through growing pains. We both have a little bit of age.

Some of what your experience is a subconcious awakening of dialogue with spiritual guides and helpers in different realms we see future events or are handed information to pass on as you stated.
Another is our own person situations that arise and we see in a different light when either our higherself or guides point out things. It is a mixed bag.

Our mind is the subway were we receive information in a relaxed manner when sleeping and in meditation some people can push gears to relax and get info during waking hours plus visions. The visions can make one feel as if loosing our minds. Because it combines to parallel worlds sometimes to see deceased loved ones and our bed room simultaneously. Therefore we doubt ourself.

Check Oracle101 on contacting guides he is excellent very divers.
Protection I can tell you my way. Theres loads of people and it will be different how each person shields differently.

A good start would be to use your psychie during day hours. If you get into a conversation with another just evaluate how you feel. Scan and sense what they are saying as truth or not. Using your senses images,feelings, gut intuition.
Continue to asses where and how you get information. This will explain to you how you are getting information from your guides and how show you your strenghts if empathetic,sensative,clairvoyant etc.

A good read is Sally Morgan she is a medium here in England. The definition of medium has varied through history.

Hoping this helps
You can click on my user name and email. I will try to help if I can.

Bless
cyopathic (5 stories) (513 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-05)
Ok I think I will start from scratch so you understand where I am going with this. I bet I am on that list of experinced people makes my day 😁 but let's start off with that sadness you see sadness happens from emotinal distress and on where this is going I think you will be okay and the spirts visting you seems more like you being a messenger I am a clayronce and I am going to update my profile today night so people don't get confused I am just a 13-year old trying to save some people but the making bad spirts going away is asking for trouble I think you are in a good enviroment. And the psychic medium hmm I can give you a reading for free so funny on the being a healer if you are having these experinces you should be a medium now you see a medium is someone who can hear and talk and see spirts.
seileann (guest)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-05)
I wish these experiences could make more sense as a whole, now that its been several years for me, & I've read countless others' stories... It makes me wonder why it has to be such a difficult, fear ridden journey for many of us. 😜

The unknowing is exhausting. I've almost come to a place of being tired of trying to figure out how come I sense 'this' or dream 'that', or 'see' so&so, etc. Once in a while, it makes sense. But more often, it is wildly unclear.

I sort of go with a somewhat mystic term, (now) "the don't mind" and trust that what many think of as 'God' (or Divine or The All That Is,etc) is overseeing all the stuff I (and others like you too) experience and that it is all ok in a larger scope of things I don't grasp as yet. ❀

My husband finds it difficult to understand my experiences, so I really do tons of journaling. I told no one for like 4 years of this stuff. And now I share with just him sometimes (not much) & maybe my mom (but not everything as she's pretty religious) and online.

Night is a pretty active time... We usually 'shut' down from the day's busy-nesses and for me anyway, I pretty much expect to be kind of 'astral-y online'...as in, here come the dreams and 'visitations'! Someone told me I needed to be 'grounded' more at night. It seems like night is bustling for you too.

Though it may seem like a waste of time to do, it is helpful to do little centering techniques before sleep. You can just do them quietly to yourself even if your husb. Is next to you. Or in the middle of the night when you have experiences and wake up frazzled. My first bk was this cool little book that seemed weird to me at first, but helped me get the idea; its called "The little Grounding Book" by Judith Poole, and it is LITTLE! Like, self binded and 30 + pages. But its simplicity was just right for me then. I found it on Amazon.com.

I've expanded my grounding techniques now to fit the somewhat irregular growth I've gone through with time and it includes angels. But even angels I had to have time to adjust too! B4 all this 'awakening' stuff, I was like, zero on the spiritual scale! I've rambled on here, but really meant to give you that title of that little book; maybe it can offer a little base to work from for gaining some serenity back into your now topsy turvey world...many:) 's to you~seileann
Kaly30 (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-04)
PathR,

Thank you for your reply. I truely appreciate it.

Just a couple of questions, how do I make myself be/feel safe in these dreams or when I wake? How do I open up to my spirit guides if I have any? How and when will I ever know the purpose of these events? Do I really have a purpose or if this is just something that everyone experiences from time to time? HOw do I know that this is not just all the start of me just losing my mind?

Do you suppose that these events are results of events that happen to me in my everyday life? My husband and my sisters seem to think that these are results of me thinking too much, but I really dont't think so. Whether I'm happy or sad, they still occur. Even when I try to clear my mind of anything bad, they occur. Whethere I'm thinking or not, they still happen and the events are never what I'd imagine.

I apologize for the many questions, I just don't know how else to handle this anymore. Any help would be appreciated.
Kaly30 (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-04)
Seileann,

Thanks for your reply. It's good to know that there are many out there who experience unexplained events and who still aren't sure what is happening to them.

I haven't picked up on any books, but I've been researching online for similar experiences.

It's just been difficult the last couple of years because I just don't know or don't have confirmation of what is really happening to me. I'm stuck between an important event actually taking place or the point of starting to really losing my mind.

I've read other articles where people out there actually know why these things are happening to them, confirmation of what or what their purpose is. It's just frustrating not knowing if I'll ever get that and in the mean time, I'm scared of what will happen next. I just take it day by day.

Update me should you ever get confirmation. I just wonder if I do have these so called spirit guides and if yes, why haven't they shown themselves to me or let me know that they are here to shield anything bad, should there be any. Maybe if I had this I wouldn't be so scared.
PathR (4 stories) (1254 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-04)
Kaly30
You seem to be screeming because you are not feeling safe in the dream world or in a waking state even when seeing your grandmother. Screems a cry of feel vunerable and your husband has been shielding you by opening your eyes to come out of the dream.

The doorways you described are different dimensions that is why they are represented differently.

It may be helpful to Daily use visualization of protection and shielding Day and night. Also take special time to meditate and open to your helpers and guides ask them to reveal themself gently to you.
Some of your response are because you went through a tough time before your dad intervened and your subconsious may still need gentle reinforcement and understand to stand fearless. You need to be in a position to know you can shut any negitivity out which is our right.

Bless
seileann (guest)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-04)
My experiences started with a 'BAM' like it sounds like yours are... With the dreams. It is a journey~always unfolding... Its more than 6 years for me and I had experiences last night that leave me all weirded out today. 😜But now, I know in time I will begin to understand. Patience is a huge thing I tackle! But you grow in steps, and I might recommend to you journaling what you can remember of your dreams, and if you begin to experience things in 'wake' time (spontaneous images, kind of like daydreams only they 'pop' in your minds eye and at first have no emotion connected to them) write those down as well. If you feel funny buying 'metaphysical' books at the bookstore (I used to, but just go for it now! If I need to learn about something, I want to start reading about it as soon as I can!) Amazon is a cool place to buy things in private and begin a 'wishlist' of bks that catch your eye and interest for later purchases.
I'm a mom and married, and all of these dreams and 'experiences' have shaken me to my core, but I go a day at a time, and I'm accepting this 'spiritual' awakening slowly, but surely. ❀Fear is a close friend of mine, (understatement) but I also get prompted to learn more because of it. Peace to you~
Kaly30 (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-04)
Hi India,

Thanks for your response. I truely appreciate if. Did you mean "IT will become clear or You will become clear"?
india (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-09-04)
your not crazy, you just need to wait, I will become clear. You should write down what happens in your dreams and try to piece them together.

India πŸ˜‰

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