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Confused

 

Where to start... I have always felt my whole life like I don't belong here. Out of place I guess and I cannot really explain why. I am old fashioned in many things and believe men and women are to get married and the whole white picket fence idea.

I married young. I was 20. Had my son with my husband the year before we got married. I remember when I was pregnant being asked what my child would look like. Many thought I was having a girl, even my husband. I said nope, it's a boy. I remember one night we were talking just my husband and I, and we were talking about what the baby would look like. I laughed and then told him we will have a little boy with a full head of dark hair almost black, with deep blue eyes that will turn brown. Eyes that look just like mine. The rest will look like him, right down to the smile. He will have 3 red marks on his face when he comes out but they will go away in a few days, they are just from delivery. I also told him that he will be early, the middle of January instead of the 27th as I was told by the doctors. I also said the baby will look mad and like we are bugging him until he gets comfortable and stuff. He laughed at me and said wishful thinking.

Well on January 19th, my son was born. With eyes just like mine; to this day he still has my eyes and they are now brown as dark as mine. The rest of him looks just like his father, right down to the smile. Even the haircuts are the same. His hospital picture makes everyone laugh because he looks really pissed off that someone is taking his photograph. In this photo you can see three little red marks on his face from where he had trouble coming out... All I said to his dad "see I told you" and his father was speechless.

We waited until our son was 18 months before we got married. My choice. I told my husband that I wanted to wait because I didn't want our son to think we got married just because of him. His father wanted to get married before he was born but I was totally against that idea. I recall saying to him that I don't want to get married while I was pregnant because if we split up in 2.5 to 3 years I didn't want my son to think it was his fault and we only got married because he came along. I might also mention I have known my husband since I was 9 years old. He said that was fine and if that was what I wanted we would wait. So we waited... And got married the following year after my son was born. 2 and half years after we got married, I left him. We are divorced now.

The following year after we got married, I lost a baby. I knew there was something wrong with it and the baby was dead the night before the doctors called with the results from my ultrasound. My sister told me in conversation the night before that I said something about the baby being dead. She didn't know what to say but the following morning the doctor called and I had to go to his office to find out my baby was dead. I was 12 weeks pregnant. Too small the baby was for me to have known it was gone.

Over the years I have dreams of people (I say dreams however sometimes I am wide awake) that I don't even know. It's almost like memories that are someone else's. I can look at people and know lots about them if I want and sometimes even when I don't want too. I have been right almost every time about if a person will have a boy or a girl baby. Heck I recall going for drinks with this one guy and seeing as clear as day him playing with two little blond girls in the grass as he spoke to me across the table. He is now with someone and is having his first child; A baby girl.

At one point I was dating this guy whom I liked for many years. After the first month or two, I clearly saw he was heavy into drinking and was not a good match for me. During the short time we dated I spelt at his place a few times and it was really weird because I had a really tough time sleeping there. In my mind I got this feeling that I was not suppose to be there. I recall a few times we would go to bed and I would lay there unable to sleep but then I would get out of bed when I knew he was sleeping and creep into the basement and curl up on the couch and fall fast asleep. In the morning he would come and wake me, clearly upset that I kept doing this. I didn't have an answer why I would do that but in my mind, I knew why. I didn't belong there. I started seeing him holding a baby. A little girl. She was wearing a little pink suit and had hardly any hair. I dismissed this as just silly thoughts as I say this sight as if I was watching a movie. The baby I knew was not mine.

I broke up with this guy after a very short time and now I find out that 3 months after we break up he is dating a girl we both know from school and she now pregnant. This was almost 2 years ago.

Their daughter will turn one this month. I have seen a picture of this kid once. It's a picture of him holding her over his shoulder, just as I had seen. She is cute, almost bald with a little pink sleeper on. I was lost for words. I still this of this man when I have no idea why cause I can't stand him.

Another person I don't even know I was talking on the phone with (internet dating - not a good idea...anyway) without even thinking I told this guy so much about what I could sense about him that it freaked him out. I even saw his ex in a pink pullover shirt... Actually this pink shirt was getting on my nerves and he said she had a pink one she wore all the time. I sensed drug use, cheating, lies, and drinking. We spoke once I never called him again.

My brother's girlfriend (whom I can't stand) is pregnant for the third time. I knew she was before she did. I also recalling telling my dad this time and the last time she was pregnant... What she will be pregnant within 6 months and this time I said within 4 and both times she was. I sense I will be old when I die. A lonely old woman.

My brother will pass before we are 50. I am older than him by 4 years. I can sit and see things from the past. Of me and people that I have no idea who they are. I see myself as a child but it's from times when I wasn't even born but I know it's me. A friend I have, I know was my sister before. I have seen her too. I see her a lot with me. There are many things I see with her and I many years ago. Some good some not so good.

I wonder why I am here, and so unhappy in this life and so alone. I have the worst luck in the world and wonder what is wrong with me. Do I watch to many movies? I say a psychic twice in my life and both times I knew these women were full of crap. Telling me just what I wanted to hear. Is all this just coincidences? My friend says it's not but if it's not what is it?

I feel like I am stuck here. I hate it here but really where am I supposed to be? Oh I am so confused. Why can I see these things and tell these things? It's easier to see now then a few years ago and I am better at tuning into things at times. It's kind of cool at times but also kind of not. Does anyone else have this? Can anyone tell me what this is? And what else I can or should be able to do? Any way I can see what my own future holds?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, iseeyou, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

IndigoCat39 (1 stories) (22 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-21)
Iseeyou -

By "reading" I was referring to reading books, metaphysical info books, books written by psychics, etc, so you can learn about what is happening to you. Try the library in your area maybe?
iseeyou (1 stories) (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-17)
oh the last women that I saw told me over and over again that its the new moon. I saw her in 2008 but nothing has changed since I saw this women other then my dog.
iseeyou (1 stories) (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-17)
ok let me try and answers all this... Please excuse if I miss anything.

The things are see are all in my head. Most times my eyes are open but I see these images in my head. Sometimes just still images, sometimes like a thought/memory other times like a movie. Sometimes its annoying because it keeps playing over and over in my head until I think to myself "okay, I got it! Knock it off!" then it usually stops or is not as strong. When I walk in this cemetery - I only dared to go there once. Every time I pass this place (which is often) all these thoughts of people pop in my head. I can see these people in my head. It's weird I know. Sorry but this is the only way I can describe it. I sense I know these people but I cannot possibly as they lived 150 years ago. I know it's from this time because that is that dates on the graves. There are two families buried there that hit me the hardest. I will have to go back there and get the names. Looking at the graves of one of these families made me so sad as if I knew these people. I even tried looking them up on the computer when I got home but found nothing.
I am not sure why I can see all these things in my mind and many times myself in these memories or images as if I am watching a movie. I know I wasn't there.
My son wouldn't be here if I wasn't here. I am his security blanket I have been told. His rock if you well. He has ADHD combined and a few other little things that the doctors say I help him control but again if I wasn't placed here then he wouldn't be here either.
Reading? Not sure what you mean. I have had my cards read by these two women I saw but I know they are full of it. They made stuff up and when they were doing these readings I knew in my mind they were making things up and I even said that out loud in my head. One I even had fun with and thought things and then she would say them and clearly they are just things I wanted her to say because I just thought them and it was stuff I made up just to see. It's funny because the last women tapped it and by the end of the tape she is saying stuff completely different then what she said in the beginning just because I challenged what she said (I knew she was making it up). I don't read cards I don't know how.
I checked out that sunfell site and can't see where the test on there is but I read the "Are You an Adult Indigo?" and laughed because I have many of those traits.
I don't know why I see these things. Things from the past and things about people I know now and I just have to think about them and I get the same things. I know things and its weird. Why I say this guys little girl that he had after I dated him is beyond me, but it was over a year before she was born that I saw her. Why couldn't I be comfortable in his house? Why do I see what sex peoples babies are going to be before they are even pregnant? The thoughts of the 1860's is the strongest. I can tell it's from then because of what people are wearing and it's like little house on the prairie. I have thoughts from other times too. Can see myself at other times, sometimes I am a child other times I am not. Most times people I see even myself are wearing white. Not sure if that means anything.
I am also going deaf. Each year my hearing gets worse. I am about to have my third ear surgery next week. The doctors do not know why or what caused this but as the hearing gets worse other thigns get stronger which is normal but in my case the thoughts, memories and my ability to tune into people is getting better.
At one point I was not sure I even believed in this sort of stuff but the last few years things are getting stronger. I can have fun within and I do. People watching is funny and quite amusing.
Also another weird thing is I am not really an animal person but bought a dog earlier this year. The thought of getting one just popped in my head and I had to have him. So I went and picked up my dog and this dog I would now be lost without. He turns a year next week. The day after my surgery. When I picked him out from the breeder he winked at me and at times still does. I know it sounds nuts but it's true. My dad even saw him wink at me and said it was weird for a dog to do that. At times I can wink at him and he will wink back. I looked dog up on line but can't find anything on that either. Also my dog has a lot of health issues which was not expected. We manage him and I though and I will be lost without this dog. I now sense he needs a brother. I am speaking with another breeder about getting another one. I have his name picked out and can see him in my head too. I don't know why I am to have these to dogs but I know I am supposed too. They are English bulldogs if that matters any. I also hate cats. Seriously I hate them. I think they are evil little creatures and my dog is allergic to them. The vet even tested him and confirmed this.
Ok so I am totally confused. Not sure what I am capable of but know I care to much when at times I shouldn't and see things, people, places, memories or even future things that at times have nothing to even do with me or people I know. Nuts? Maybe I am?
platinum5 (2 stories) (2 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-17)
hi,your story is interesting. I just want to know how can you tell those people who you saw strangers are from 150years ago, or 1860's? (just curious.) and did you actually talk to them in real when you were clearly awaking stage? I just want to know more details about it. By the way, you are here in this world right now because for your son,right? Because there's always some deep meanings for everything.that's why you are here now.that's my opinion.cheers.
PathR (4 stories) (1245 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-17)
iseeyou, your post is quite interesting. You are defining individuals in different soul groups and their soul purpose of where they belong and which children are channeling through to them in their life.

It is believed people can travel and gravatitate toward their soul group.

Seeing past souls we have traveled with can also interact into the present to include
Memories of the past. So this would justify seeing people in mid 1800's. This can be a little more intense in definition. If you want more info click on my user name and email me.

I've been there feeling stuck here. But
Looking back it was a training period.

Bless
IndigoCat39 (1 stories) (22 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-17)
I forgot to comment about you seeing the people who have crossed over...well. I would say that means you are psychic, intuitive, clarvoiyant... You have precognition of events... You did not mention if you studied/read about this? Read some of the stories on here, there are so many that have the same theme as you... You are definitely not alone in this... Read...read... And read some more.
IndigoCat39 (1 stories) (22 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-17)
Hi, You are supposed to be here. I believe that we go through lessons here on Earth, so you are going through your lessons now, and actually the harder the lessons I think shows that you are an older soul. I too went through many lessons in my life and now I have a different understanding and look back on all of it as lessons I had to go through to get to where I am now.

So, sometimes a feeling like you don't belong (here on earth or in this time era) is a sign of being an Indigo Child/Adult. If you are unfamiliar google "indigo adult" I think its sunfell.com (or close to that). There is a test on there to take, and gives you info about Indigos.

As far as your abilities have you done any reading? I think that is the first thing I would do if you have not done so already.

You will find your way... It takes time and that is for a purpose. SO try to relax and meditate, get rid of some stress, that will all help out too:)

Did you read Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth? I highly recommend that book, it truly changed my life. It gives you a many ways to relax, destress, be less reactive and find a calm within yourself... All things that help more than you will ever realize!

Good luck to you! Hope things get better for you really soon!

Indigo
❤ ❤ ❤
iseeyou (1 stories) (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-16)
oh and no Anne, it did not help at all. You didn't mention why I see other strangers I don't know from times I was not even born!
I walked through a burial site and I swear I could see each person as if they stood right infront of me. Like I knew each one. Many died in the 1860's...that 150 years ago!
What I see is weird. I am trying to understand it.
iseeyou (1 stories) (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-16)
okay I have re-read my post many times now and I am not sure where people are getting that I hate life! I didn't say that. I said I hate it here meaning I hate it heere because I feel so out of place. How would you feel if you were put in a life you are not suppose to be in? Placed her by mistake. No post yet explaining why I see memories that are not mine and from times when I was not alive.
My post does not come across the way you took it at all.
When I said "I sense I will be old when I die. A lonely old woman" I meant because my family and friends will go long before me. I have many friends and a happy life but that still doesn't remove the fact THAT I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO BE HERE. That is the feeling I have, no matter what I do that feeling never goes away. Personally I think I am here to find my sister cause we got lost and sperated somewhere along the way to this life and I have found her now which is awesome BUT we don't belong here.
The fact remains... I see things that have no bearing on my life or in my life, of people I wouldn't know if they walked up and bit me!
The two psychis I saw... Only said what I wanted to hear or at least they thought I did. I could sense they both had no idea.
I have no idea what I see or why. I have had a friend check out this board and my post and another friend I have emailed the link too and my friend said this does not sound the way you two took it at all!
Hidden_Girl (2 stories) (8 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-16)
I use to feel that way too. I have this amzing friend that has helped me through the years. We never saw each other but we talked on the phone and she lived more than 2 hours away. I can't visit her because I am 15. You have probably been through more than me. But I hated life felt so alone until I gave life a chance. I have to thank her because she helped me see the positive. I prayed and tryed to stay positive including that I improved my ability by learning more about what I am and have tried some of the things I have been suggested to do. I prayed to god and asked question about my gift. Later I recieved the answera in some times the strangest ways. I also prayed to meet people like me and sooner or later I found two of my friends have the same thing as me. Some times I feel like I belong some where else or my home is some where calling me. Right now my dad has cancer but I don't feel sorry because he has been so mean to me and mom. They took him to a mental place because he got insane and we could not take care of him. He has always been so mean to me and my mom. I feel as if he got what he deserved. I'm blessed to have my mom and all my friends support. My life is getting better even the money problems are finally going away. We are not rich but I always try to look at what is good in my life and by doing this even by gift has become more positive. I can also feel stuff but in different ways. I can see ghost and other stuff like that but I would suggest meditating it helps. Energies of other people is a big thing for psychic too I might look into it if I was you it is pretty cool.
AnneV (4 stories) (1045 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2009-11-16)
Sorry if I offended you. It's just the way your post came across.

Ok so let's see if we can help clarify this. This is a classic case of intuition, empathy and being psychic. All this information is always out there floating around. You just happen to have a sharp antenna and can pick up on it. All knowledge is known at all times "out there". This is like remote viewing. You can see anything, and anywhere. Any person, place, or event. We can label it what we want, but it's just the ability to see into the universal mind.

Hope this helps.
Anne
iseeyou (1 stories) (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-16)
Wait a minute you are totally taking this the wrong way here Anne. I never said I thing people need to be more like me. I am confused as to why I see things that are part of my life and in many cases people I have no clue who they are.
How do I use it for good? When I see people I know and sense they are hurting or sruggling I help them, confort or lend an ear. I don't tell them what I see for fear they will think I am a nutcase. I just be their friend and if possible offer guidance. As for the man I was dating that had a drinking problem, I pointed him in the right direction and made him see what his actions cause people. This man still drinks but now its far less then before. The person I spoke to once claimed he was not into drugs anymore and I was NOT dating him. Personally I think what I saw was a warning to me that this was clearly not a person I needed in my life.
Just because I don't like my brothers girlfriend does not mean I am unhappy over that! I am not the one dating her but I sense the pain she causes my brother in many ways. I support him and give him strength which to me is good!
You make it sound like I walk around depressed which I clearly do not! I am a very happy person with a great life, however when you sit and think about things I personally feel like I am here by mistake, that I don't belong here, like its not the right time for me, like I am not supposed to be here. You totally in my opinion missed what I was asking. I want to know what it is that allows me to see the things I do and explain why? And what its all about. I take offense to what you said to me. I do not see just bad in people, I have in some yes but in many others I don't. The way you right your response I might as well kill myself cause my life sucks so bad but really that is not what I said at all. Snap, I even by coffee for strangers just because they seem pissed at the world for no reason and I feel it will brighten there day.
I am trying to understand what it is I see, I am sure there is a name for it. Why I have thoughts of people I have no idea who they are, why do I have memories that are not mine or from a time I was not even alive? I don't need a person telling me to love the world because they totally missed the point of what I was asking. You make it like I suffer from depression. I am not complaining about what I see but merrly asking for clarification. I have never posted here so I didn't go into the good things I see (there is lots) but the things that strike me as odd or strange that leave me wonder "what did I see that for?".
Maybe you should read my post again. I am not a cry for help, I am not depressed... Instead I am a women trying to figure out a gift I have that I am not sure exactly what it is. 🤔
AnneV (4 stories) (1045 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2009-11-16)
It's the state of living or experiencing life in "separation" that makes us unhappy. It's that crappy brother's girlfriend, deceitful psychics, drug addicted dates you've had, the lies, and so on. It's no wonder you're unhappy. You see all the bad but little mentioned is the good, except in the case of innocent children. But they are easy to love. We don't challenge ourselves to love the loving. We challenge ourselves to see beneath the garbage of a person's surface to know that under their bad stuff is a human that perhaps is suffering too. That is just as lost, just as confused and that's their way of coping. Life is hard for everyone.

You will grow old alone if you are unable to see the good in people. There is the negative but there is also the positive. In what way have you used your gift? To live a life centered around ego will never fulfill you. You obviously have the ability to see subtle realm information but what good are you using it? How are you helping people? And I don't mean you need to set up shop and do this full time. I mean in every moment of your life. I'll give you an example. I go to this gas station and the old gal behind the counter lights up like I'm an old friend. She jokes, laughs and shares warm anecdotes. She is not fake. She is a real human talking to another real human. I leave that darned place feeling happy and loved. It's the smallest of efforts to raise our fellow human beings up, versus bringing them down with negativity. Try smiling at a stranger. Exceed their expectations and trust me, this is contagious. They too in turn will feel the effect and eventually try it themselves.

You're also missing the point that these people have to make mistakes. That's how they learn. See the beauty in their path just like we need to see that a first grader has to go through the trials and tribulations of that level.

I read a wonderful line from Byron Katie's book, "Loving What Is" because we are all where we need to be in this moment. The fastest track to misery is thinking that people should shape up and be more like you (and you yourself said you're confused and unhappy). They are where they need to be - mistakes and all. Accept that just as you are where you need to be in this very moment. Maybe in an hour, a day, a week, a year or maybe the next lifetime, you'll see that the greatest beauty is Loving What Is, helping those around you (flawed or otherwise) with that amazing gift of yours and then you'll develop truly deep relationships and you won't be alone. In fact, you'll realize you were never alone, you just perceived the world that way.

Anne

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