Recently, I've had a life-changing situation happen.
Through a colleague's recommendation, I visited a psychic. The only one that I knew so far. Although I had always been intrigued, and wanted to visit one, I didn't trust commercially advertised ones. So in the end, I've always relied on word of mouth to feel compelled enough to visit one. Well, in comparison, the others that I've seen before this one felt like impostors, or opportunists wanting only to make money. They didn't seem genuinely interested in helping mankind.
Perhaps, meeting him is already a part of my life plan. Despite some very real, and "scary" stories that my colleague painted of him, I felt even more compelled to see him. On the day of the appointment, I had very bad stomach menstrual cramps. So bad, I couldn't walk. Despite that, I was adamant to meet him. I was supposed to get out of the house at 1745 hrs. My cramps started in the afternoon, and became unbearable at 1700 hrs. I dragged myself to the sofa, drank a warm glass of water, and laid down to sleep. When I woke up at 1715 hrs, I found myself miraculously cured of the almost unbearable pain. It just... Left. So I found the energy to leave the house and make my way down again. After so many readings on this site and in books, I can't help but wonder if the good spirits helped to heal me whilst I was asleep in that short period of rest.
Finally, I got to meet the psychic. He has a range of abilities, including being able to see auras, being clairvoyant, the ability to see the future, amongst others. Being in the presence of such a gifted person for the first time, I was shocked into silence by his revelations and his amazing accuracy in telling me things that only I knew. And then... The bomb dropped eventually. He said he can see that I have the aura of light, I am like him too. Reeling in disbelief, he continued by saying there are some entities in me, taking in my energy. There are others hanging around me too, and he is able to identify some of whom I've never even spoken to him about. Death is something that happens often to people around me.
Whilst psychic or different abilities come to some people whether or not they are ready for it, I've never felt anything significantly different about myself or even if I have any of such abilities, even if others felt I was weird or too 'dreamy'.
A little background information - as a child I didn't speak. I can't remember if I have communicated telepathically, but my guess is not. I just kept to myself, didn't really see the need to play with other children too. I only started speaking to my peers at about 8 years old, with my family a bit younger. But my parents thought I was mute initially. It was only at about 10 years old did I start speaking to authoritative figures like teachers and adults. At age 7, the teachers prompted my parents to take me to a psychiatrist, because I did not speak. Thankfully, I was not diagnosed as autistic, if not I would probably have led an entirely different life.
As a child I was afraid of spirits, always sensing presences, and this has not left me until now. As I grew up, I started to ignore my feelings, brushing them away as irrational fear. I refused to watch horror films and disliked violent films. To me, these are pointless films feeding on to human's fears and violent tendencies. I could not understand why people paid money to watch such films, although sometimes I still cave in to peer pressure to watch these ugly films. I never felt alone, and that is very disturbing. I couldn't see these spirits, and I think I am not ready to see them yet for now, but I can feel them around. I was afraid to look in the mirrors, to look at dark corners, but now I feel a kind of courage growing in me. After reading so many books and stories on this site, good spirits (spirit guides or angels) are around too, I just have to call on them and stop fearing.
Books are my only respite from this sometimes trying world. I would devour book after book as soon as I learnt how to read. Most people grow out of their fantasy themed books and move on to modern lit like romance, law, thrillers, the usual. But I always retained a love for fantasy themed books, science fiction sometimes. When I read some books from Piers Anthony's Xanth series, I find myself wishing to escape to that magical land, where everyone had some pretty amazing talents - to the point I felt withdrawal symptoms when I stopped reading, forced back into the reality of this world. This could not be normal, I thought. As a child, I had a fascination for our solar system, for the universe, and often wrote stories of UFOs - but these aliens are always kind, not fearsome. I've also always been able to observe the beauty of the world - the way the road sparkles like millions of diamonds when the sun shines down after a rain, the way the trees sway in the wind like they were dancing, the breeze that caresses you so softly, the magnificence of the sight of leaves twirling around just before a thunderstorm, and so many more. The sights that lifted my soul, and I felt a bubbling joy inside, like every cell of my body is rejoicing at being alive, of feeling so free. Yet, I could not tell any of this to anyone. Besides, words seem so inadequate in describing what I saw. If only people could look past their fog of negativity and thought, to see how beautiful the world is.
Sometimes, I try. Try to nudge people to see, to open their eyes to the present. But they can never see what I saw. Worst, they gave me a "look" and labeled me as "living in my own world". I was deeply angered by that. I imagined everyone to be in a bubble filled with their thoughts. That bubble is their world, I have mine, they have theirs. It was too hard to share my vision of my world with another. Over time it got really frustrating and I stopped telling people what I felt. My interactions with other people consisted of my anecdotes of everyday life. Things that made them laugh, lighthearted stuff that made me feel accepted in a group, but in denial to myself. This probably caused a rift in my consciousness. I wasn't really happy although others were happy enough to be around me. I felt empty, and withdrew further into my mind, only writing in private journals that kept me sane. To be frank, I felt a bit schizophrenic or had split personalities because I couldn't reconcile the things I knew deep inside, and the outward personality that I portrayed to others. I felt really old, and always had to explain to my parents that they should trust me enough because I thought differently from other kids. Of course, they would have none of it, and labeled my behavior as rebelliousness, and forced me to conform by authority alone - "I am your mother so you should listen to me". My frustration grew, though I believed in myself, everyone else seems to refute me. So I wavered and became unsure. When everyone else tells you that you are weird and unrealistic, it becomes difficult to believe in oneself. I coped by adapting to what everyone wants, losing myself in the process. Losing what I believed in, losing faith that maybe I have a purpose in life to remind people about positivity and love, to clear the negativity that's so harmful out of the way.
The psychic is the only one in my life who has validated who I am, reminding me what I am here on earth for, my purpose in life. He's my teacher, and I can tell that he is already feeling weary from our first meeting, fighting against people's superstitions and fears, battling entities or "demons" that cause mayhem in our physical world. I wish I could rub away his weariness, but I have already lost my confidence. My psychic experiences are not unlike many that are already posted in this site, so I will not repeat them, but these are always random and I can't put my finger on whether it is just coincidences or real. Everything is random, the experiences come when they come, and not when I want them to. But Teacher made me do exercises related to remote viewing for the past few sessions that I have been to him, and I've always got the right answer for him. Usually the answer comes in visual form to my mind. The last time I tried it, I started wavering, being unsure, and the images come more fervently and in greater splashes of color, and I can no longer deny that the answer is not such.
Teacher helped to expel the entities, or blockages out of my body. Still, I don't feel any different, except a heightened sense of awareness. I get more guesses right, although sometimes it's still a bit off. But compared to him, and all the other psychics on this site, I feel so far away in my abilities. I told Teacher as such, and his answer is an encouraging "no, you're not too far away". I do want to build up certain (non-scary) abilities so that I can start to help people move on to an easier course in their lives, instead of being stuck learning one lesson for an entire lifetime, but I don't know how to.
I've also read up about the indigo, crystal, star children, and I just don't know where I fit into any of these categories. I'm 28 this year. Sometimes I wonder, if I'm really one of them. It's one thing to score academically well, and have people telling you that you're gifted, and another thing to have people telling you that you're gifted, with no proof that I can produce for me to validate myself with.
Well, it's been a long story. I'm surprised if you made it until here.:) It really doesn't matter if this story gets published or not (although I do hope it will because I want to hear about your opinions for the past 2 paragraphs above). Ultimately, I guess I just needed someone who is able to understand and resonates with me.