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Am I Half Good And Half Evil?


Does anyone ever feel like their spirit is two halves of good and evil? Sometimes I feel like I should hate everything in the world and have it burn, but other times I feel so sorry for everything that had happen. I feel warm with sticky threads on my right side of my body, every time I go to bed. Warm, blessed feeling happens to my left side. Like an angel on my left and demon on my right. I ask myself, are my wings are that way?

When I first discovered that I can do things like summon up the elements and archangels, sometimes I feel like I'm being torn in two. For about a year now, or since that demon attack that I described in "I dreamt the Demon of Earth," I have felt a presence in my bed. I would feel a long, coiled, body around my pillows. Sometimes, I would feel a snake around my neck. There would be no hissing sound, but I would feel the tongue flickering at my neck. One time, I have felt sticky threads on my right leg. Encasing it and it crept up to my right side, on my rib cage. When all of this was happening, nothing would happen to my left side, except the snakes tongue. The next day, my right leg was in terrible pain, according to my family history; that I have some arthritis on my leg joints, but only minimal. Except for that day, my whole right leg was in pain, and I had to work that day. Some time later, I noticed that my leg was swollen. When I was laying down for bed, I asked for the threads to be off my leg. I practically demanded it and the threads slowly, but surely, came off of me. I knew it was a good sign, and it did also hurt my leg; like ripping off a band-aid. Every night since then I had to ask for nothing to touch my right leg. I was so fed up with something touching my right leg that I decided to sleep in my father's vacant room (he's a tugboat captain, so he's away for a long while). Some nights I feel fine, other nights I would feel like someone is keeping information from me, someone? I meant spirits.

As far as powers are concern, I get vision when I as the plants for a story. I love plants and the trees where I live have so many stories and I really want to write them down. Sometimes, I would get visions that someone is running through the woods, looking for someone. Here's a creepy vision, one time I went to my church in my hometown and right in the middle of service, I saw a vision of some dark entity that's trying to find me. The entity broke out of the lower depths of hell, but was soon captured by angels by chains. Wings were dark, sort of bat-like, and there was only oval for its head. No legs, arms and spine were dark and looked like bones. I feel like it needs me, and I can do nothing, and I think it could be a female demon. Could someone tell me about this dark entity that wants me, but couldn't get out of hell?

Am I half good and half evil? Is there something about me or my past lives that could have resulted this? Whenever I think of some bad things that I want to do result into feeling something on my right side of my back, like a wing. Is there a war within my spirit, trying to decide if I should be good or bad? I need to meditate more and ask all these questions to whichever angel that is willing to listen to me. I mostly want help from the Archs, but they won't listen to me. Not even Lucifer, the Morningstar; the Devil himself won't help me. I feel like I have to move from my hometown just to have better contact with any Angel or Demon. And, could someone please draw up a picture of the demon that tried to kill me long ago from the descriptions I wrote down from the last story? Please?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, bloodredrose, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

quixoticqt (2 stories) (53 posts)
13 years ago (2011-10-20)
In the end there is no in-between, no gray areas. We are either going to be black or going to be white.
But be careful of what you choose. There is a heavenly black and evil that appears to be white.
It's good to hear that you are in control of your "Holy Spirit" is the best way I could explain what you did to your threads and told them to get out of your leg. Your spirit knows when something is amiss and you can control your own spirit and your "Holy Spirit" and command things to get out of your body. "With faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains."
Ask it out loud when you feel as if something is being kept from you. "What do you want? Why are you here? Is there something you want to tell me?"
The dark entity or female demon that needs you really does want you. From your story you seem to be powerful because only a small number of people can enter the spirit world and see what you see. That she demon wants you for evil. "For everything heavenly there is a reciprocal."
FYI in heaven lucifer wanted to be like God because he was Gods right hand man. Lucifer persuaded 1/3 of heaven and all 1/3 was cast out of heaven. When this was done he made his world the reciprocal of heaven in all his works.
There are people that are called the "watchers of the gate" or "the watchmen" or the "people of the watchtower."
It takes great courage to be one of these people. Most are sort of "born to it."
The only thing is if you want to help those angles at the gate you have to be dedicated daily and know how to intercede.
The angel's power is only performed because of God, Lord or something like "the power behind the sun." The angels do Gods bidding. So if you want to help them, you have to be in contact with their source. I know it might sound kind of crazy but you need to talk to God on a daily basis.
And also, there are no past lives. There are those who record past lives of whom they served. Each human has one life to live and one life only. If indeed you see a past life, it's not yours. It's the one who recorded its experience.
This is only a way I could explain to you what I could best describe what's happening to you. If I offend you in any way or anyone reading please forgive me.

❤ Qt
geminiknight (1 stories) (6 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-28)
I'm going through the same thing in my story "gemini soul" though I kind of rushed it so I'm thinking of rewriting it.

I think I'll read your other story cause I'm confused as to why you want to help a escaped demon?
bloodredrose (11 stories) (162 posts)
13 years ago (2011-01-10)
My Question is, I want to do something for that demon that I saw in church. That vision happen to flash before my eyes when during service. The demon broke free trying to find me, but was later captured by Angels that was looking after the gates. Who was that, and how can I help it? Its been over a year since then, but I still can't stop thinking about it.
bloodredrose (11 stories) (162 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-29)
to Rashidah,
Yes I have spiritual wings, like I could conjour them up when I'm in a dark mood. Sometimes, its a good way to subdue barking dogs. I always feel something tugging on my back when I'm asleep and about to experience an OBE's.
Kahlyn (4 stories) (311 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-27)
We all have dark intentions in us. Wether we can resist those impulses is our choice. I find people forget that they are responsible for their actions.
Confused_Jewel_of_the_night (1 stories) (13 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-27)
I have always felt that way and sometimes the evil side gets so bad, that I feel an unreal growl coming up in my chest. And my eyes wil go fom blue to black. I wouldn't have known this if my best friend hadnt pointed it out. I feel like part of e is demon and part is just normal. 😨 What does this mean? I know I'm not evil but the feeling comes and goes.
JayD (2 stories) (22 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-27)
I feel the same, sometimes I can only use my left hand and sometimes only my right depending on how I want to influence things.

I think we just don't understand where we belong, even if we are 'powerful and gifted' or however you want to say we have a gift.
IntoTheBlack (66 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-27)
Like the yin and yang, there is polarity in everything... But as Rashidah said, everyone is what they make of themselves... Self control is everything, because spirits like to mess with those that are unsure of their true self, going the way wind blows...

Kahlyn (4 stories) (311 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-27)
To exist in this universe people must have a good and evil side. To proceed further it is a lesson we must learn to resist the evil impulses and go with the good;. Because this universe exist in duality for such a long time.

Even those who are light in nature can have an evil side just as those who are dark. I find most people erronously equate light and dark with good and evil.

So in essence you do have an evil side along the rest of the world population,
Rashidah (guest)
14 years ago (2010-07-27)
Wait wait wait, bloodredrose you have wings?
Is this some kind of joke or something 😕
Tristanna (1 stories) (2 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-27)
I've never heard anyone else describe themselves as having wings. I'm most curious about that part of your story.
HelloRusty (1 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-26)
Not to devalue what you've experienced, but going about life thinking every strange occurrence is supernatural can be a dangerous way to live. I would see a doctor about what you are feeling as you sleep, it could be that it is supernatural. It could also be a serious medical condition, or not serious. Just be logical while going through life.
create_inspire_me (5 stories) (146 posts)
14 years ago (2010-07-26)
You could be Half good or half evil. It depends on what your doing and how you make yourself.

There will always be left and right, and the middle.
Rashidah (guest)
14 years ago (2010-07-26)
You are not half good or half evil.
You are what you make yourself 😐

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