I have seen ghosts since I can remember and have always been an empath (I just recently found out what that means and why I always felt that way and I really always just thought it was normal). I also have visions which are all uncontrollable and many dreams of many different things like death and people who have died coming to me and this might sound strange but I think I saw my grand-pop's heaven a couple months before he died and didn't know it until after he passed. In the dream it was about 50 years ago and he was young, maybe about 20, and everything around me was from that time period and he told me it was his mom's house years ago (which I have never seen). He then told me to follow him and he would take me to his favorite place to go to, he told me it was the most beautiful place he has ever seen and loves going there and will always be happy there. We then went through this door and as the door opened I gasped at the sight. There were angel's flying around everywhere, children singing, the most beautiful landscape I have ever seen with greener than green grass and trees and flowers everywhere and it was just amazing and I was only there for a minute or so and looked at him and he was smiling and laughing and I felt he was so happy and just loved that place and then I woke up. He wasn't really sick or anything besides RA and he went into the hospital 2 months later and then died suddenly. Him and I were very close and I was devastated but knew that he was happy and ok. I then had dreams of him after he passed of him telling me where he hid money in the house where he and my grand-mom lived.
I have always been afraid and tried to ignore everything until recently. A few months ago I realized I can feel ghosts too. I can feel their emotions as well as people who are living, I can also sometimes feel if a ghost is old or young, happy or mad and have also heard a few of them. This part is all new to me and I also think it's odd that in the last few months that these new feelings happened I met 2 people who also have these abilities, one a palm reader and the other a medium. I feel a lot stronger when I am around them and feel more energy and see more things but less when I am alone for some reason. They don't know each other and have both told me that I have the ability to do some crazy things (not really sure what that means) and that I am very strong and that I have to just figure it out and get more in tune with these feelings. They also told me that I met them for a reason and that it's because they are supposed to help me understand it and help me know that it's not just my imagination and that it is real and for the longest time I did just think that I had a wild imagination. I feel like they are getting strong and feel like the ghosts around me get mad because I am not understanding what they want and need but I don't know what to. For instance, I have 2 male ghosts in my apartment that I have seen and felt about every day since I have been there but I can tell when there is a change in that. A few weeks ago I felt a woman when I walked in my door after work one day and knew she was there then I walked in my bedroom and saw her and for the rest of the night she kept appearing every time I turned my head and I cried because I felt she was so sad it was the weirdest thing, I was like why am I crying and realized later why. Over the next couple of days I felt her getting angry and mad and she was scaring me and wouldn't stop so I wouldn't go in my apartment alone and I called my friend over who is a medium and asked her what she felt and she described her just as I saw her but since she is stronger than me she told me that her husband murdered her (that would explain the angry man's face that kept popping in my head) she said she's confused and she talked to her and then she disappeared and I haven't seen her since.
I feel really lost and sad that I have these abilities but still can't help them and feel like God gave me this gift for a reason and I need to just figure it out so I can help them. I also still get scared when a ghost comes to me but I am working on that part. Is there a book or something that I can read that will help me understand this better or is this just something I have to figure out on my own? I have a few books that I am currently reading by Sylvia Brown and a few other people but I am still really confused. Is this normal to feel this way or did everyone else with these abilities automatically know what to do and how to control them from the start? I feel like I can't control when they come and sometimes I feel nothing at all which is really strange. My sister in law's house has a few ghosts in there and I have felt them on numerous occasions and a lot of people say they see orbs and hear knocking on the walls and I have experienced this as well but sometimes I go in there and feel nothing at all and don't understand that either. Is there any advise that anyone can give me?