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Reluctant Intuitive Or Something Else?

 

Growing up my Mother would constantly recite her psychic experiences as a child and teenager. Impressive ones too, such as talking to her dead Mother for two years until her Father finally attempted an exorcism which seem to do the trick until her powers manifested itself into prediction of future events through dreams. I was in constant envy of her abilities when I was younger. She would constantly show proof of her abilities especially once I became a teenager.

As a child I had always been very nurturing. I could sense distress in others and was always called a 'good listener'. I never felt bored by the conversations with the adults. I never found myself not understanding and was always providing opinions or suggestions on a situation. Deemed an "old soul" by most of those around me when I was young, I became very heavily relied upon and where most kids would have a real childhood I was shown a very negative world and eventually went inward.

I have always had a very strong feeling of intuition. I believe at a young age it fueled my imagination as I found myself with the best company always, myself. Looking back I see that maybe the signs of possible gifts were being disguised. In order to escape I would find myself living out various "stories" as I called them. These stories were very elaborate and I felt a very strong urge to reenact them. Around 6 I found myself pretending to talk to a female apparition in a barn behind my house. I pretended I knew where she was killed on the side of the barn and eventually pretended I could bring her back by creating a séance in the back of the barn by myself. As a child this all felt normal to me. I never spoke about it though, I never told my Mother or anyone else about this woman. Eventually we moved and I began having other types of imaginations. Around the age of 10 I imagined a deceased relative walking around me. He came with memories that I had never remembered having before and found myself questioning if the memories were real. Fear eventually set in around this time. I started to notice the difference between what I was feeling and what I was imagining. Thoughts would creep inside my head and I would find myself questioning the reality of these thoughts. As soon as I had these types of thoughts an immense fear would creep up inside of me. I eventually learned how to distract myself as soon as the feelings usually associated with these moments crept up. I became very good at the distractions and would rarely find myself feeling or thinking too deeply because I would simply ignore with the use of distractions. I would once in awhile sense something but nothing would take focus and I could go on with my life.

At the age of 13 however, I found an urgent need for spirituality. I sought this on my own and eventually had myself baptized. Once again my feeling and thoughts reappeared. As my focus on spirituality gained strength so did my focus on these feelings and thoughts. I began imagining seeing beings. I felt them, sometimes I could even imagine hearing them but not with words. Even at one point I experienced what I call a vision. The vision is difficult to speak of because it was not of our world. I felt victimized by these happenings. I felt haunted, terrified and as I struggled to shut it off I had to shut off my desire for spirituality as well. I eventually drew the attention of my Mother and her psychic dreams. She felt there was a war for my soul that some sort of evil crept in at this time. I quickly found distractions this time, drugs, alcohol, boys, whatever I could find to push these feelings and thoughts away. It worked but left its scars that took many years of therapy to actually consider myself recovered fully.

It has been many years since. I am now 31 and a Mother. I acknowledge my feelings and thoughts. I do not give them power although. I know how to understand my intuition now. I don't predict future events like my Mother. I'll have dreams of ones I care about when there is some sort of distress in their life. I have a connection in my dreams to my oldest child, ex-boyfriend and husband. I never talk with any of them about experiences I may have had as a child, teenager, or even things I feel now from time to time.

Lately however things have been getting worse and although I try as I might to keep things at bay. I am feeling a lot of stress and worry. Lately my own health has been bothering me. I try to explain everything away with being stressed out, imagining it, etc. I feel like there is this door I am trying to keep shut and it just doesn't want to stay shut. I am very much a skeptic of my own experiences. I am only re-telling some of this in order to explore the idea that there is more going on than just "imagination". My Mother calls her gifts a curse. I am wondering if I am suffering from the similar curse. A few nights ago I woke up during the middle of the night. There was a strange smell throughout my house. I had spent the day cleaning my house, spring cleaning and deep cleaning. When I went to bed my house smelling of cleaning products but I woke up to a putrid smell, almost that of something burning but not wood maybe like the smell of hair being burned. I searched every room in the house in order to localize the smell. I couldn't locate the smell but it permeated every room, even the baby's room. I went back to bed contemplating waking up my husband but decided if something was burning that our smoke alarms and dog would wake us. I laid down trying to get comfortable but as soon as my mind felt rested I noticed the feeling of a presence in the room. My ears started to ring, almost as if there was an electrical disturbance like someone turning on a TV in another room. I did not move out of fright. It is the first time in years where I sensed something unfamiliar in my own home. I want to dismiss these feelings, but I feel like I need to prepare myself. At one point in my life this happened and it caught me off guard causing years of troubles. I have a very precious life with my loved ones and feel very protective to not allow anything to ruin it. I am also entertaining the idea that I am extremely imaginative and need to just take a deep breath and maybe do some yoga.

I should mention that my oldest child has shown some intuitive abilities. Even some psychic abilities when he was little. I have decided to talk to him about these abilities as I have been very afraid to discuss it with him previously. He finds his thoughts very normal but has told me he thinks he knows when things are going to happen when it is bad and when there is a bad presence around him. I don't know what to believe, are we as normal as the rest or are these showing signs of having abilities more than the average person?

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, driftingsatellites, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

RookDygin (5 stories) (324 posts)
 
9 years ago (2011-03-26)
Javelina,

I didn't realize that there was more O' the same over at the sister site. It appears that the link in question has more to do with the nature of things on THIS SITE more so than Ghost Stories (Encounters).

With that being said...I'll 'step off' and let everyone judge for themselves if RHood is recruiting / stealing away memebers or if they posted a link that they thought may be of genuine help for people.

Respectfully,

Rook
Javelina (67 posts)
-1
9 years ago (2011-03-26)
[at] RookDygin,
Not yet, I haven't wanted to because of the sneaky way they advertise. There is more of the same at YGS from this same poster. I may have jumped the gun, but they are questions I am interested in hearing the answers to.
It all becomes a but confusing when you compare what was said on each site. Meaning there are noticable discrepancies in the background of the story that grabbed my attention only after I'd posted my comments here. Had I known I would find the same behaviour exibited here over at the sister site I may not have been as polite.
Respectfully,
Javelina

PS~~ I realize that it is not my job to weed through these things, and it was not my intention to step on anyone else'e toes, so I'll sit back away from it now. However, I will continue to watch from the dark corner of the room.
😕 🤔
RookDygin (5 stories) (324 posts)
 
9 years ago (2011-03-26)
Javelina,

Not to be a nudge... But did you follow the link Mr. RHood left? It's not a site you can join... Just a 'book' of many experiences that one person has had... Not sure what to make of it... Though perhaps they 'profit' in some way by how many 'hits' the site gets... But I didn't see and advert's...

I'm going to (when I have it) take some time and look it over... See just what it's all about...

Respectfully,

Rook
Javelina (67 posts)
 
9 years ago (2011-03-26)
[at] RHood,
Hey Mr R, you're trolling and it's very unbecoming of you. Are you recruiting from this site just to fill the membership of your site?
😕
That's stealing isn't it?
Javelina (67 posts)
 
9 years ago (2011-03-25)
Freezingshdw,
It's not just psychics the moon has an influence on. It's a pretty universal phenomenon, ask any bartender. They can tell when the moon is full without even walking outside. People's moods and emotions will make "adjustments" in the 2 to 3 days leading up to and going away from the full moon.
RHood (1 stories) (31 posts)
 
9 years ago (2011-03-25)
Dear Driftingsatellites and Krislove,

As I read your accounts, I see a lot of commonalities with the stories that my wife has told me. In particular, when you said "I feel like there is this door I am trying to keep shut and it just doesn't want to stay shut", it sounded just like a line right out of one of her stories. Check out this link and let me know what you think: http://www.main.pamelasrevelations.com/Home_Page.php
RookDygin (5 stories) (324 posts)
+1
9 years ago (2011-03-25)
Freezingshdw,

In relation to your statement...

13 is the average age of 'puberty' when ones mind and body go through some major changes... For some people their 'Gifts' get stronger, for others they lessen or fade away altogether. I feel this has to do with how ones Parent's / Church / Friend's and even School have influenced how one thinks and Perceives the World and how they Mature when their mind and body undergo 'this change of life'.

As for the Moon... You are right, there are times where the influence of the Moon can be felt... Just look at the tides... As the Moon effects water so to can it effect the 'Earths Energies' and this in turn effects how we can feel / use them... I hope that makes some kind of sense. For me the Full Moon or the New Moon are both times of 'High Energy' for me... Thunder Storms are good for a boost of 'Energy' as well.

Please ask any more questions you may have.

Respectfully,

Rook
Freezingshdw (1 stories) (6 posts)
 
9 years ago (2011-03-25)
I've been researching common traits among Psychic people and one trait that I have noticed repeatedly was the age 13. I'm not sure what that has to do with anything but I believe that it is important. Another trait I've noticed is the correlation with the moon. Have you ever had an influx or outflow of energy during a certain moon-phase.
Please respond.
-Shdw
Krislove (65 posts)
 
9 years ago (2011-03-23)
Your story is pretty close to mines in some aspect. After reading your story I remember how when I was a kid, like you, I also used to pretend that I was psychic and had some kind of psychic power. Weird. I am an empath. I have just recently decided to acknowledge this as a gift and see where it leads. Like you, even though I try to ignore it it keeps showing up in my life.

A few years ago I had a really scary dream I had where I saw an image of my physical body but it held another soul. I just knew that the soul inside the body was not mines but it was someone else. She told me that she had been looking for me for over 65, 000 years and that she had finally found me. It is scary when you see something like this for the first time. It scare me silly. Ever since I've been having dreams of a soul who I now believe is my twin flame. I've been ignoring this over the years and brushed it off as just my wild imagination but I'm beginning to realize that it may be more.

I've been told that I may be a shaman one day but I'm trying to resist that path because of some issues I have with the whole ceremony. I won't go into details but it may be a path I will eventually take one day. I think even if we ignore it now it will come back. I've been seeing 111 and 1111 and 44444 for a while now and just realize that this was a sign.

We're all given a choice. It could either be a gift or a curse. We can see something negative into the "future" and let it happen (as I've done in the past) or try and see if we can change it. I know it seems inevitable but have you ever tried to change it instead of wait for it to happen? Think positive. Learn to control and protect yourself. Later on you'll be glad you did.

Sorry kind of long winded.

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