I apologize for the length but I really need advice. Please help.
I have been meditating everyday for months now starting after the summer when school started. I originally started to get rid of anxiety and depression problems which instantly worked. I have gotten very spiritual and have been realizing the "power" that these practices can give me. Lately I have been more aware of psychic powers and how meditation can unlock them. I have a friend who has opened up more to me about her psychic ability and now all of a sudden I am becoming more aware of mine.
I was given medicine cards from someone who thought I would be interested and through that I found that I have the ability to see the future, yet I have been fighting it. Instantly it made perfect sense and I realized that I have had a gut feeling about this and that I have been fighting it recently, scared that I would be haunted by things I would not want to know. I have been thinking about everything lately and I have been learning a lot about myself, but now things have happened and I am starting to feel somewhat lost.
2 months ago I had a surgery to remove a benign tumor from my leg so my body has been out of whack and I am just starting to walk with the use of crutches. I feel this has messed up my lower chakras because I haven't been able to do anything other than be alone and think and meditate when I used to go out a lot with friends and live a normal life while having my own spiritual one. I have gotten cold shakes recently and ignored them and thought it was from the surgery.
On friday I had my senior prom and my friend mentioned before was there and I asked about the cold shakes. She said it could be from repressing things which I had just figured out I was doing. I kept getting small shakes throughout the night and then I went to go to a friends house after prom to sleep over with people. Throughout the car ride there I was getting the shakes worse. When we arrived they got so bad that I called my parents to pick me up around 2 am. While they were on their way I was nonstop thinking/worrying. I got this pulsing in my ear which has happened before and a headache which never happens to me. I then had a sudden strong feeling that this was all an incoming vision that I may have been repressing and I need to let it happen when I get home. Instantly the cold shakes and ear pulsing stopped. The headache remained but I dealt with it. It felt like it was in the dead center of my head which I know is where the pineal gland is which is the physical third eye chakra where psychic abilities come from.
I got home and I went straight to my room to lay down, close my eyes, and let a vision come for the first time. I saw several things happening. It wasn't a clear scene which I was expecting to see, more like a montage of scenes and images which I had to piece together myself. I saw many things which all were really similar to things I have been thinking about lately about the world. I don't know if I should share it in this post.
The next day I felt horrible. I felt like I had lost control of myself and that I was not in my head. I was very very spacey and felt horribly lost and like I had no control over anything anymore. I felt like I was not fully here in my head. I had recently heard about being grounded and ungrounded and looked it up. I read some great articles and I realized that I am completely ungrounded. My recent surgery which has changed my normal life and left me always meditating. I even realized I was meditating only on my higher chakras which I realized is a horrible idea.
So basically, I am now aware that I am ungrounded. I feel better than I did, but now I am worried that my lower chakras are really messed up and weak compared to my higher ones. I have been kind of scared to meditate and don't know how I should go upon doing that again in a safe way. I need to be grounded as well as having my same spiritual self. Also I need to know how to control my new found ability to see visions. I don't want to fight them anymore and have more scary dangerous experiences, but I don't want to focus on them so much that they will happen all of the time. I want to be able to keep them tamed and be able to experience my gift in a safe positive way. Once again I am sorry for the length of this, but I really need some help and advice.
Thank you all so much for the advice you will give me:)!