Sorry guys that it took me long to post my story. I am 18 years old, a kind of guy who follows his feeling.
I have had many psychic experiences since I was a kid. But I don't even know my exact behaviors for sure. I don't know what I am. All I know is I am becoming someone I don't want to be. I am becoming more and more confused each day. Thus for you guys to help me I have listed some main points:
1. My first encounter that I can remember happened when I was around 5 years old. I was asleep. When I woke up I saw this giant leg (talon of a hen). I was stunned and tried to react but I can't. I was paralyzed. The paralysis left me when it is done.
2. From my search on the internet I infer that I have been attacked by succubus. Even if I don't know I was performing things that I regret doing (horrible things for me). It intensified when I was in grade 9at the age of 14. I have been attacked and I am under attack of different succubus. Even I have been attacked last night.
3. I used to hear voices calling my name. Most of the time I feel I am being watched over. I feel someone following me. This feeling intensified at grade 9 (the year that someone had experience black magic/evil things to suppress me both academically and in my day to day life). That year things began moving when I am alone. One day I asked the entity that was in my room what it wants with me. When I heard a voice that I thought was a reply, Iran away because I was overwhelmed by fear. Now I have stopped hearing voices and seeing things that are not there. But I still got feeling of being followed and watched over.
4. Since I can remember, I have this dreams that end in paralysis or that took somewhere else. When I was a kid I have a nightmare of falling. Unlike astral travelling I don't see my body lying on the bed (except for once) rather I move to another place which is like home. In my dreams I may get out of bed or may read on bed because I thought I had woke up. I had but not in this world. Sometimes I would go 3 or more dreams beyond. Thus I got to wake up in each to make it here to the physical world. Now I am18 and it has almost stopped. Currently each day I will have a dream or a nightmare but the problem is I can't remember any of them even on the moment I woke up. I sometimes encounter things that I was sure I had encountered in my dreams. One time before years ago I saw like a nightmare which involves a person in my neighbor (one that I thought is involved with evil things and black magic) and I woke up right away. After days I saw that person waiting for me at night. I felt my night mare is to happen thus I ran to my house. Surprisingly, the next day my dad told me exactly the reason why I ran and about my dream asked him how he knows and he ends up saying I just know. (I think my father is a psychic. The problem is I cannot believe him. None of his deeds made me to infer that he is good psychic. Once he had told me he is the one that sent one of the succubus to protect me.)
Everybody keeps telling me as if what I am experiencing is 100% evil. Everyone wants me to reject what I am and what I have. But I seem to realize that rejecting does not work for me. It would result me to be more stressed. I have tried meditation. It works but I lack persistence. For quite a long time I have stopped talking about my gifts because when I talk to someone else they either dwindle or stop. I do not know why it dwindles. The reason I am telling right now is because I am gone lose my abilities or gifts in either way but this way seems better. Lately I have been feeling anxious about the passed grand ma (not really grand ma by blood but like a grand ma for me) as if she was there. I sometimes see her in my dreams. Beginning from my childhood, I felt I was different. My father has told me I am special and I have certain gifts. Once he had told me that his friend was astonished by the gift I have and told my father it was even stronger. But I am losing most of them right now. The ones I remember right now are:
* When I was a kid I realize what I say will happen either directly or indirectly in the real world.
* When I was in grade 8 (13years old), I felt the connection I have with the world around me. The cloud gets heavier, especially on summer, when I get depressed or be on the wrong path. It rains when I cry. The wind blows with my need/wish.
* When I want something all I got do is ask. It will happen from within seconds up to years depending on the things I want.
* I used to know what person feels from their face.
* I see things in the air which I thought are molecules. They are very tiny and move in random direction like Brownian movement.
* I used to smell a room and know if there is a negative energy or negative spirit in the room from the vibration I get.
* I somehow used to see and hear spirits.
* Currently I am under surveillance of eagles, wind, birds and pigeons which I think are protecting me.
* I am an indigo child.
* I have intuitive ability.
This is all I think. I think I have been manipulated by someone or something. For sure I am accompanied by negative spirit or demon. I sometimes see I in the middle of darkness surrounding me. I want to get out of it and move to the light. I am doing things I don't want be. I don't do things I want do. I want be in control. I want to figure this out. I need to know what is up with me. So guys help me figure it out. If you got any idea or advice to give me I would be happy to hear from you.