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Empathy And Relationships


I've had some strange experiences when it comes to social situations and forming relationships, and I was wondering if any other empaths have had similar experiences. I'm not certain if it has anything to do with my abilities at all, but at the same time I have this suspicion that it just might.

First of all I'd like to clarify that by none of what I'm about to say am I trying to sound conceited in any manner. It is not at all meant in that way, I am simply trying to explain things as I interpret them. I am by no means extraordinarily pretty and I've never been what one might consider "popular".

So, with platonic relationships, it seems that people are very quick to trust me, even if they don't know me very well at all. As well, they seem to get very protective of me very quickly, as if I'm not just their friend, I'm something that they feel they need to guard and protect, whether physically or emotionally.

For example, a few months ago, a girl who could be considered very popular gave me this very dirty look, which I found rather strange because I've never done anything to wrong her and in fact, I've never actually spoken to this girl before. People aren't generally mean to me and I felt through the girl some very sincere anger towards me, so I was somewhat shaken, though I didn't say anything because I don't like to start drama. However, one of my friends witnessed the look she gave me, and she expressed to me that she was so angered by it that she almost punched her. Other friends who later heard about the incident by the friend who was so angered by the situation expressed a similar protectiveness and anger. They expressed a want to socially and/or verbally assault her, at which I protested, saying that it would be mean and horrible. They all responded with similar sentiments, "But she was mean and horrible to YOU!" But all that she did was give me a mean look! For all I know, the anger could have just been redirected towards me because she had some inner anger that she needed to put against SOMEBODY in order to let it out so that she didn't keep it bottled up inside. I really disapprove of bullying in any form and would not have let my friends do anything horrible to her.

A while back, a friend of mine went through a really horrible break up. The guy had been an absolute jerk and she was totally crushed. When he tried to get back together with her, she called me in tears because he was so horrible to her when she rejected him. I sent him a text asking politely that he let her be, because he had hurt her and she really didn't deserve to be treated that way, and he retaliated by cursing at me, calling me a few horrible names, and then telling me "Leave me alone and go find a guy who'll actually think you're pretty." This was mean, but not half as mean as what he did to my friend! I told someone about what he'd said and they got very suddenly protective. A person who I'd known for four years to be totally passive suddenly lashed out angrily stating that they wanted to beat him up, as well did a bunch of other people. They did not get half this upset about the way he treated my friend, which was considerably worse!

They always seem to be totally protective of me, not wanting me to be hurt in any way but to a greater extent than one would normally expect someone to protect a friend. If it was just one friend, I'd assume it was just their personality to act loyally, but it's every single friend of mine that is like this, from close ones to people that I just talk to every once in a while.

Romantic relationships have been odd as well. It seems that once a guy decides that he's interested in me, he gets very deeply involved ridiculously fast. One guy I met while out of town, and saw him three times while I was there, and he asked for my number and he became very interested and very involved VERY quickly. He texted and emailed me every day from the moment he woke up until he went to sleep for weeks. Then things started petering out once he realized he probably would never see me again. Apparently (from what I heard from a mutual friend) this was very unusual behaviour from him, and he doesn't generally act that way with girls he's interested in. Another guy has liked me for almost eight years, and it seems like every time we run into each other his interest resurfaces stronger than before and he pursues me more aggressively each time. Another guy liked me for three years, and he would call and we would talk on the phone for hours (apparently, again, this was strange behaviour for him, as he is generally fairly antisocial and hates phone conversations). Another guy only talked to me briefly before he got very into me and soon he was texting me all hours of the day, almost obsessively. I get hit on extraordinarily often for someone who doesn't exude any amount of confidence or isn't particularly beautiful. And it's not like I just attract obsessive guys, because I know from many sources that they haven't behaved that way towards any other girl before.

There is one guy that I don't know anything about his past with girls, but I still found it odd: Some years ago, one guy I never even spoke to, but that I caught eyes with briefly in an entirely non-flirtatious way while at an amusement park WITH MY FAMILY, proceeded to drag his little brother around to every ride I went on even though I did nothing to indulge in his behavior. He also would push through crowds to stand closer to me.

Also, sometimes I get this feeling like I stand out. Just wait for the rest of the explanation; I know that makes zero sense. When it happens, the most accurate way of describing the feeling is that it almost feels like I'm 'glowing'. It feels like I radiate some sort of energy that makes people's eyes or attention drawn to me, and because of this people tend to pick me out of crowds when I get this feeling.

For example, in seminars, plays, demonstrations, anything that involves picking an audience member from a large crowd, I'm always chosen.

Or if I'm in a crowd for something, there will 90% of the time be one of the presenters/actors/whatever who locks eyes with me for even a moment and then will purposely smile in my direction or try to catch my attention, often trying to catch up with me after the presentation is over.

I have no features that really stand out - I'm not extraordinarily beautiful, I'm not very tall or very short, I'm not very thin or very large, the way I dress doesn't really stand out from how others do, which is why I'm fairly certain that this 'glowing' sensation that I get has nothing to do with my appearance getting attention and perhaps something to do with my abilities?

The other possibility that I wonder about (this is embarrassing to write about - I feel somewhat silly about it) is that perhaps it's something about my aura that people don't necessarily see, but subconsciously pick up? I don't know a lot about auras - I can see the energy around people but I don't have a very good understanding of what it means, and I don't notice anything different about mine, because I can only see a very preliminary white energy around others, nothing past that.

Do any other empaths or people with psychic abilities of any manner have similar experiences? Does anyone have a good explanation for why this sort of thing would be happening to me?

There are a few reasons that people's reactions to me worry me, the main being that I am in a very serious relationship right now, and I care very much for him, but I really do not want his feelings for me to be some sort of delusion. The emotions I read off of him are really happy and good emotions, but I can't help but have that thought in the back of my mind sometimes that somehow I forced this on him. I am so happy with him, and I know he's thinking about starting to plan a future together, and I really don't want to find out somehow in a few years that his feelings aren't as strongly based as he'd thought they were.

As well, my friends' protectiveness concerns me sometimes, especially when it involves them expressing an urge to cause another person emotional or physical harm. I would never want anyone to be hurt because of me.

I would love to know if anyone thinks this has to do with my abilities, or if it's just been very strongly correlated coincidences. And if it does have to do with my abilities, is there anyone out there who has similar experiences and has some advice that they could offer me?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, i-believe-in-love, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Hellokimmy (3 stories) (14 posts)
12 years ago (2012-04-19)
I understand how you feel, I have the same things happening to me. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one going through these things, I feel better about opening up more to my empathic ability (:
i-believe-in-love (7 stories) (36 posts)
12 years ago (2012-01-29)
Wow, thank you so much for your response! It's so interesting to hear that someone else has the same experience! Your description is amazing and you seem to know exactly with what's happening to me!

I've always been able to lift people's moods, and I do get this feeling (I was going to try to describe it, but I can't think of a way) when I touch someone.

Your explanation was so perfect and totally helpful, I'll be researching energy healing to findn out more about it.

Thank you again:)
mysticlady1000 (3 posts)
12 years ago (2012-01-28)
My daughter was born with this same ability. She is only 2 1/2 now, but ever since she was born, EVERYONE stops to stare or talk or touch her. Even people who are usually crusty and rude will melt under gaze. Everyone befriends her. I am partial, because I'm her mom, that she is a beautiful child, but her aura is very clear and bright. Her aura attracts others to her. This can be a good gift or bad. The most important thing to remember with this type of gift, I think, is that no matter how protective anyone else becomes toward you, it is you who ultimately holds the power. With this gift, you can lift those who are down, you can help those who suffer with depression, you can be a guide and a mentor. You might even have physical and emotional healing tendencies. Do you ever feel heat or tingling coming from your hands when you touch someone or hold their hand? This is a sign of energy transmitting from you to them. I would research books on energy healing at your local library or on Amazon. Remember, too. With this ability, you can easily fall into the "princess" or "damsel in distress" mentality. Instead, I would think of yourself as a queen. The best rulers of a kingdom had subjects who were loyal to them out of love. Their rulers took care of them and shared their wealth and knowledge with their people. Of course, this is just a metaphor, but I do feel that when you have the gift to attract people's loyalty, it is a large responsibility to also help guide and direct them as well. Mutually beneficial...

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