I came to this site, because I am trying to get it. I am trying to be honest, for the first time ever. I am not saying I am a liar. But I mean be honest about what I have had to do, to keep my secret hidden. My mother worked in the psychiatric ward of a hospital and my dad worked with runaways and misfits. They both told me to my face I am the one person on this earth they could never understand, or get into my head. I had to learn early, not to trust a soul with me secret. I learned early to steady my hands, so to speak, and steady my voice, until it quivered no more. I learned very early, in just the years of what should have been fun and making friends, to keep people at arms length. I see the show psychic kids. I feel a glimmer of envy rise, because I wish I could have been helped like that, but I also wish I could have been brave like they were, to show their faces on television, when I didn't even have the courage to look up during class. I hid my horror behind flat sarcasm and being the slacker, the joker in class, but in reality I was scared most of the time. I soon found I could seal my emotions away, like they were behind a door that I could lock. Not to be cliche, but it was like I sealed away part of my soul, the part that would cry and be afraid and weak, I refused to allow it to happen anymore, but soon everything ceased to matter. I looked at everything in black and white, and it became easy to use logic, and find the most efficient way to handle a situation with the littlest effort. Not to be even more cliche, but I was like Sam in Supernatural, when he didn't have a soul. I was cold, and callus, and I was smart. No emotion to hinder me. People were never around me long enough to know me, nor for me to really care. Until last year. I met someone who was just like me and suddenly everything I had blocked off with such ease, suddenly busted through the walls I had built. Yes, it is a boy, and yes we are an item now but we at first hated each other, but even when we feuded, he had broken down the walls I carefully constructed to keep everyone at bay. The point is when I hid, I was never really happy, I was only existing, and finally after 23 years of hiding, I am finally able to open up bit by bit, about what I am. Though I want to be able to define it, and control it, I am accepting it. Some people call me emotionally damaged, and to be honest, that is probably true, but I mend myself in my own ways. This site is one of them.
Past Self, New Self
Other clairvoyant experiences by GeneX
Medium experiences with similar titles
Comments about this clairvoyant experience
The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, GeneX, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.
To publish a comment or vote, you need to be logged in (use the login form at the top of the page). If you don't have an account, sign up, it's free!
© The psychic medium story Past Self, New Self is copyrighted to GeneX. Edited by psychic-experiences.com.
Search this site:
Latest psychic & medium experiences:
- Help For The Tillerman
- Young Child
- A Strange But Scary Dream
- Premonition Of Car Accident, Speeding Ticket, And Words
- Spirit Communication, Weird Encounters And Friendships
- Looking For Help
- Help With Mediation Gone Scary?
- Photographic Memory Is Rare?
- I Told My Spirit Guides To Go Away
- Is Something Wrong With My Memory Or...?