I have been on a journey trying to figure out what and who it is I am. I always thought that I was different in some way, especially when I had friends telling me I was a very powerful witch, and the fact that I was ten times more mature than most other people my age. So upon learning what a spirit guide was I went in search of mine, I discovered that I had sort of known all along, my spirit guide was the white wolf who permeated my dreams, my readings, and my writings. I also realized that I could sense people's emotions, though I did not find out until quite recently that there was actually a name for it. I am a physical empath. I take on the emotions of people around me physically and based on the headaches I've had nearly every day for my entire life. I was born this way, it didn't develop over time, though I'm pretty sure it got stronger in highschool and since I've learned to meditate it has calmed down a bit.
Recently however, I met this guy and I don't sense his emotions except for when he's happy. His laughter is contagious, and my sense of humor is generally nonexistent, but with him I feel my emotions there all mine. I also have my mind split into two personalities it helps me cope with different events. The process for my brain to function this way was a build up over years. Every guy I've dated since developing this second personality I have introduced to the second; but with this new guy as much as I want to introduce her every time he's around it's like my personalities just merge.
I don't really have a question, but I guess I'm getting to that point where I want someone else to know my story, to see the person that I am.
This guy he sees me and I don't have to fight or work around him. He admitted to me his lust, and usually that alone would be enough to make me over the top with desire, however I am only experiencing my emotions the only lust or desire I feel is my own, and surprisingly to me my emotions are as soft and light as the way I walk and I walk pretty softly. I'm not as heavy with emotion and desire as I always thought. For me this is a new concept, because I'm a Scorpio so were like the sex goddesses of the zodiac, but apparently I have actual control over that. I haven't felt control over my own emotions in so long it's such a new experience and I feel so lite.
It's as though I have my free will again or finally.