I haven't written in a while, but this should make up for it. After discovering God (on my own when I was surrounded by enemies), I can say I'm a lot more grounded person. I know who I am, love who I am, and I wouldn't change it. And now I'm actually starting to understand my powers more. I'm a medium and I'm proud of it. I help lost spirits. I console them. I guide them. I send them.
I admit I still have fears of seeing and hearing spirits one on one like you see in movies, but I feel He's helped give me a way where I can safely overcome that fear. I use automatic writing. When a spirit wants to talk to me, my inner eye goes crazy. The more intense, the more they want to talk. So I get out a pen and paper and let them use my hand to talk through me. I write or say a question and then I let them use my hand to write the answer down.
After my first sending (a man named Lloyd) where I only knew to pray with all my heart and imagine the gates of heaven opening with all its love and warmth and grace, an angel came to me. He told me he was proud of me and that he loved me. I cried in happiness and I cry now thinking of that love.
It was at my next sending, when I sent two spirits at a time (two teenage boys around 19 years old: Victor who died from a stab wound and Crystaph who died from getting run over by a trolley by accident) that I found out who that angel was: he called himself Jesus. I know many may not believe, who am I to be in the presence of Jesus, but I was just glad he considered me worthy. I've long since stopped caring what other people thought. In my whole life, I've never felt so much love for one person. That he reassured me with praises by calling what I did incredible or beautiful was enough for me. I've always been insecure and he knew. I loved him even more.
And it was after that, that a demon came to try and hinder me. I had slept peacefully the whole night, but in the morning I still had no energy. I stayed in bed because I had no energy to get up, it was like something had been sapping my life force to keep me down. I knew then it was a demon. They knew the things I did, the souls I stole from their greedy grasp. I took a shower to try and cleanse my body of the bad energy and I felt the weight of tiredness in my limbs as I tried to wash it off.
So I prayed to God and Jesus to help me get rid of the demon attached to me. You'd be surprised how much influence a demon can have on a person without knowing it. The words that I used to pray so easily, I had difficulty even remembering the words to use; words like protection, or love, or help. So I asked Him for a passage in the bible that would most help. He responded Psalms 3:16. I don't know any of the passages. I only know that Psalms is what you use for help. I read Psalms 3 but found it only went to 3:8. So my I asked my mom and she said it could have been John 3:16. And it was. Both pertained to my situation.
For those of you who don't know Psalms 3 basically is a verse where David is surrounded by enemies, enemies that would have him believe "There is no salvation for him by God." But when David cries for God's help, he answers and comes down to strike his foes that have surrounded him. And he knows that he shall never be afraid for God is always with him.
And I'll quote John 3:16: "For God loved the world so much that he gave his only begotten Son, in order that everyone exercising faith in him might not be destroyed but have everlasting life."
If only I had Faith, they would always be at my back. And I did, and the demon was banished. No demon shall stop me helping lost spirits while I have faith in God. And I feel his warmth at my back now, making me cry tears of happiness. For I love him and he loves me.
After that I continued on to do the sending for Miriabelle, another spirit that came to me. She had died in 1815 of sickness and could barely hold on any longer. So I read through Psalms, praying for her to be sent, for her to find happiness and relief. And it was as I was reading Psalms 6 that I knew she was being sent. I wanted to quote the passage, but the site said something about "please don't enter repetitive signs that long". Basically it states how a spirit has been forgotten and is suffering and that with its belief in God it could finally defeat its demons. I strongly recommend reading the passage in the bible to get the full impact.
And I write that in remembrance for her, because she feared being forgotten. And even now, I have another soul asking for my help. She's a little girl of 5 named Julie, daughter of one of my old art teachers. She'll be sent but only after she's seen her mother one last time. Until then, I'll keep her company and protect her from those that wish her harm.
And I have no doubt that more spirits will come as well as demons, but I'll stand strong and continue doing what I do.
And I wouldn't change it for the world.