In 1996, I was practicing meditation on a daily basis, at a friend's spiritual center. We had settled in our seats and said our protection prayer. The meditation was guided by the center instructor, a past life regression on this particular evening, and I slipped into a deep meditative state pretty quickly.
I found myself sitting in a cobblestone street, with orange trees down the center of it. There were three story houses on either side, with iron balconies, window boxes spilling red flowers down the walls, people going about their day to day activities. Surprisingly, I realized I was a man! I had luxuriant, long, dark tresses of wavy hair, and was wearing brown velvet pants, a somewhat frilly, pirate style white cotton shirt and a magnificent pair of over-the-knee brown leather boots.
I was an artist, plying my trade in this street of Spain. I was attempting a painting at my small easel when I noticed a figure in the distance, it was my main artistic rival! My higher consciousness recognized this person as my Mother in this life! (My Mother and I are both artists in our current incarnation!) I yelled some profanities (Bastardo! The other participants in the meditation heard me!) at him, whilst hurriedly packing up my materials and rushing off to my sparsely furnished bedsite above my landlords residence.
I then experienced a feeling of time racing forward a couple of years. I saw myself curled in a fetal position on the bare wooden floor, I was very pale and shivering. I was dying, I knew that my crippling fear of being a successful artist was causing me to starve to death. I also had a fear of challenging and striving to be a better artist than my rival, which in my current reality, I never wanted to pick up a paint brush for fear of my Mother's criticism. Hence, I have always been drawing, not painting!
I took longer than usual to fully come out of my meditative state, I was crying quite heavily and very exhausted!
This was probably the most vivid regression I have ever experienced, it also told me a lot about how I see myself, judge myself and procrastinate out of fear! Our higher selves, when we tap into them, know so much that can help us move forward, I am still learning from this particular lesson... Love and Light, Anni