A little more than seven years ago I was coming home for school break. As I stepped off the greyhound bus, I met with my parents (whom were picking me up) and noticed an eerie feeling. The car ride home wasn't any different. As I entered my home, the fist step I took I felt off, like something was wrong. I nearly felt suffocated and had to stand for a few minutes to gain back my bearings. I just thought to myself it must be nothing, I've been away from home for several months and they must have change something. The next day my dad asked me if I get the mail to hide it and not let my mom see it. Later on I figured out he was cheating on my mother.
Since I was a kid I have always been emotional, shy and never wanted to hang out with anyone. I had very few friends, then again I was bullied as a child. I watch finding nemo and I nearly cry when the father finally finds his son. I cry at any sad or happy moment. Sometimes before I even set a step inside my workplace, or even on my walk there, I get a bad feeling. Most of the time that bad feeling comes true. Before my managers says anything, I know I'm in trouble or something has gone wrong. I don't know if I'm sensing them or just reading the facial expressions. Still even when my back is turned I can still sense things. Or it could all be in my mind.
I've learned to ignore everything around me, to be completely emotionless. Yet when I go to bed I twist and turn and begin to think about the day and I become self conscience.
I really don't know what is wrong with me I tried searching the web to understand and I haven't gotten anything.
An affair is devastating not just to the person you cheat on but to the entire family, it's also totally unnecessary but to each their own I do not know your father so I will not speak ill of him.
Theres nothing wrong with you and no reason to be self conciouse you are your own person and absolutely flawless just as you are as long as you are happy with where you are in life.
Now for a bit about Empathy, just as PathR has said Empathy is extremely draining and the constant intake of emotions gets hellish on the mind and body but you cannot let yourself fall victim to your abilities. They're yours and you're capable of control, I've developed a few techniques to sort of subside the pressure of it, I usually have a song going through my head and I do not make eye contact unless absolutely necessary. If I do and it's for work I look through the person and not at their eyes. Those little tricks give me enough of a gap to free a few seconds of my mind for myself and regain composure when it all becomes too much. Give one a shot and if it works for you then I'm glad I could help.
<33 =Eternal love and light will guide you through the densest and most difficult jungles