A little more than seven years ago I was coming home for school break. As I stepped off the greyhound bus, I met with my parents (whom were picking me up) and noticed an eerie feeling. The car ride home wasn't any different. As I entered my home, the fist step I took I felt off, like something was wrong. I nearly felt suffocated and had to stand for a few minutes to gain back my bearings. I just thought to myself it must be nothing, I've been away from home for several months and they must have change something. The next day my dad asked me if I get the mail to hide it and not let my mom see it. Later on I figured out he was cheating on my mother.
Since I was a kid I have always been emotional, shy and never wanted to hang out with anyone. I had very few friends, then again I was bullied as a child. I watch finding nemo and I nearly cry when the father finally finds his son. I cry at any sad or happy moment. Sometimes before I even set a step inside my workplace, or even on my walk there, I get a bad feeling. Most of the time that bad feeling comes true. Before my managers says anything, I know I'm in trouble or something has gone wrong. I don't know if I'm sensing them or just reading the facial expressions. Still even when my back is turned I can still sense things. Or it could all be in my mind.
I've learned to ignore everything around me, to be completely emotionless. Yet when I go to bed I twist and turn and begin to think about the day and I become self conscience.
I really don't know what is wrong with me I tried searching the web to understand and I haven't gotten anything.