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A Spiritual Newbie In Need Of Guidance


I am an esthetician. One day I was at work braiding a little girls hair. Her mom was reading our services menu and asked me if I was the one that performed the reiki services. I told her that I am currently only level 1 and am not trained enough to offer that yet.

Then she proceeded to tell me that she is a reiki master and works with angels. She said she could see indigo and crystal within me. She also told me that I am very well protected by angels, especially archangels Metratron and Ariel.

I have a passion about energies and spirituality. I love crystals and stones, I collect them wherever I go. I never realized my fascination with them was for a reason until this wonderful lady opened my world to a whole new level.

I am still trying to figure out what my special abilities are, right now all I know is that I am here for a reason. I don't feel like I fit in, at all. My reiki master told me that I am a healer. That my energy as a level one exceeds most of her level two students. How can I benefit the world with this ability? I know I belong somewhere among the spiritually gifted, but where and how exactly?

Most of the time, when I do reiki on myself, I see colours when I close my eyes. Swirling bright colours, it is usually mostly shades of blue, although there was this one time I seen the most vivid brightest colour to date and it was violet. I cannot describe how bright and vivid it was, it made me question if my eyes were closed. I believe it was in the shape of the infinity symbol. Does this mean anything?

One thing I cannot understand is why I am terrified of ghosts. If I am in touch with the Divine and the fact that ghosts exist, why am I so scared of a spirit that does not hold a physical body?

One thing I know I possess for sure is that I can feel other peoples emotions. For the longest time, I thought it was just me and I had terrible mood swings. But I am come to realize that I am taking on what other people feel. One day at work I was sitting with my boss and a man came up asking for a chair massage. I instantly felt an awful sadness. While he was getting his massage he told my boss that his mom had called that morning to tell him that his uncle had killed himself.

I also am not sure if I can read minds or hear the voices of spirits. I always freak my mom out, especially while we are driving I will think she has said something, so I say "Pardon?" and she says she didn't say anything and tells me I freak her out cause I always say it while she is thinking something. It has happened with my friends a couple of times too. I don't know if it is coincidental timing and it is actually the voices of spirits or if I am reading their minds.

I can go on and on and on about why I believe I am different, but I think I have written enough for now lol.

If there is anybody out there that feels like the possess the same qualities as me, or if you feel you have any information I can gain from, please please let me know.

Much thanks and love,


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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, PeacexLovexHappiness, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

freyja (4 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-09)
You can cleanse crystals by setting them in the light of the Full Moon overnight, you can also lay them in soil or salt if you think they need extra cleansing. The Full Moon will recharge them as well!:)
PeacexLovexHappiness (2 stories) (7 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-09)

Thanks for replying:) I will do a smudging of my house. I usually do light a white candle when I do reiki. I also surround it with pink Himalayan salts to give off negative ions and sometimes add a couple drops of essential oils. I have not sent a message to my angels and guides when I do this tho, so I will do that from now on.

I do also use crystals. I have a little pouch I keep them in. I sleep with them under my pillow and sometimes use them during reiki. Is there anything you have to say or do to cleanse them during a full moon?

I have never had a professional tarot reading. I have doreen virtues angel cards app on my phone, but I don't believe you can get a meaningful reading from an electronic device.
freyja (4 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-09)
Almost forgot, Light a white candle in honor of your spirit guides.
I even just say "To my Angels and Spirit Guides this candle is for you, to honor and thank you for guiding me." ❤

(also, crystals can be cleansed of negative energy in the Full Moonlight)

Have you ever had your Tarot read?
freyja (4 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-09)
#1 I would suggest you SMUDGE your house. It's actually a perfect time to do it coming up on the night of the New Moon (Monday 10-15-12), You will want to do it in every room, counter clockwise along the lines of the room and then blow the smoke in every corner, say something in your own words that have a meaning like "negative energy and spirit you must leave this house, there is only room for positve energy and spirit in this house. After you are done smudging open the windows and doors and let the negative energy/spirit dispel. I also have a quartz crystal above every door of my house, this will help to aid in taking negative energy from people that come into your house. Also, pour a little salt that you ask your spirits guides to bless out side the door ways. Often if someone is really negative they can feel they shouldn't even enter your house. I bless with SWEET GRASS, WHITE SAGE or PAULO SANTO WOOD. Any of these work beautifully and I like the smells of all of them, sweet grass and paulo santo the best though.

2# The energy I believe is life energy, chakras, they spin, and even to me somethimes the swirls and it's all I can see unless I focus on something esle and then I can still see them but I am looking through. The white is Divine Spirit/Energy. If you think back to old paintings of Saints you can remember a white or golden halo, that is the Sahasrara Chakra. The connection to the divine, comes through the top of your head, if it is all around you, your energy is guarding yourself from negative. If you really want to activate the Sahasrara chakra you can do a headstand, handstand or hang of the side of your bed so that your heart is above your head for at least 2 minutes, you can literally feel your energy magnify!:) Just remember if you feel you are not grounded it is not the best to do this, you want to be balanced and this time of year with the changing of the weather is not the best time.

3# Our hearts all carry a vibration that can read the vibration in others hearts, you are most likely sensitive to this and keep that in mind that you need to know when to close yourself off to save your vibration from getting too low. You will notice because you will feel negative, when this happens you need to recharge yourself. Take sometime for you and do something for you. Then you can go back to raising others vibrations. (ex: Empath)
PeacexLovexHappiness (2 stories) (7 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-09)
RCT123, I agree with you. Even being at someone's house, I can only stand being there for so long, but it is a much nicer environment. I guess that kind of makes me anti-social. I like the company of my friends, but only for so long. Then I just want to go home. I love being at home. I don't understand how my friends can hang out with each other for days at a time, I like having my alone time. I hate clubs, its just a bad environment. All people go there for is to find someone to go home with at the end of the night, and I have too much pride to belittle myself like that. Its all people who are not connected with their soul/inner self. I know I am better than that, even though that makes me sound like I have a huge ego haha.

I agree it is so much information to take it, we just have to take it one day at a time I guess. I have been reading a lot about angels and crystals. I can spend hours on the internet looking up information until my eyes bleed, I find it so interesting but there is only so much you can take in at a time.

Newbiepsychic, thank you so much for telling me how you avoid being drained after reiki. I always protect us with a bubble of white light, sometimes I just envision the entire room to be filled with white light. Whenever I try to remove negative energy, I always envision it as a black smog leaving the chakras, then I push it towards a bright white light that eats it up so it won't latch onto someone else.

I will definitely try asking for a message to give the person I am doing reiki on, that is such a good idea I never thought of. I know my abilities and energy are getting stronger because I can see the colours much more vividly than I used to. Thanks again for your post and help:)
Newbiepsychic (109 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-09)
It's my understanding that the swirling pattern is a healthy active and open chakra or energy centre. I believe that they change from minute to minute though depending on how we are feeling emotionally, physically, spiritually so if the swirl and then disapate then likely just slowed down or open but not fully active at that moment.

My feeling is is that reiki is just one avenue to explore, if you feel other aspects of psychic awareness in addition to healing then you should explore those as well to become fully rounded and for growth in the 6th sense.

A healer I think is someone of advanced spirtuality and psychic awareness, however, we all can be healers as we all have this ability in ourselves (humans I mean), it's just that we are aware of it and others are not. What I try to do is inspire people to heal themselves rather than doing the work for them, to take on responsibility for their own health, emotions, spirtuality. You want to inspire this in others so they "grow" in the facets of human growth.
What you hear most often is "but I can't", I can't forgive someone, I can't change my diet, I can't meditate... Everyone can, they just chose not to or they don't believe that they can. Once you believe you can, you can. Long journey though and lots of struggles for those who believe they can't, but that's all part of it. As a healer I think it is important to grow in yourself but also to inspire this growth in others. So when someone tells you you are a healer and have angels helping you, they are inspiring your growth and awareness, it's your job to recognize this, grow and learn yourself and inspire others.

If you feel drained after a reiki session, I'm not sure how you do it, but I first picture both of us in a white bubble of light, I call on other powers to bring the energy to me so I can pass onto the person, you can feel that energy moving through you, then after a time you feel it disappaiting, you then know you need to stop and that you've done what you can for now. Picture yourself as simply the conduit to which the energy flows, don't give them your energy, you are just the conduit. I did initially end up giving my energy to people and I would feel drained or in pain for days afterwards, so this conduit method works very well for me, I don't feel drained at all. I also ask for protection before beginning so that I am protected from any negative or draining energy. I also ask for guidance for this person, I usually end up hearing or knowing a phrase that if I say it to the person will raise their awareness, their personal energy... Such as "you need more humour in your life" or "you are lost and don't know where you are going, find YOUR path" or "you give love for the sake of being good, go deeper and give unconditional love" or "you are a survivor, feel the strength inside you and work with it" - this seems to resonate at a very deep level for people... It's a feeling I get about them, words I hear in my mind, I ask to be able to give them a message to raise their personal energy so they may heal themselves. Something they need to hear on a deep level to raise their personal energy. I've told people I see dishonesty in their aura, it tends to freak them out:) it's true though, I never say it unless I see it, they then do address this over time and eventually I see their aura change to something more positive. Or sometimes I see a seperation from a loved one on an emotional level, it shows up as blackness around them or to the side of them, where it is located and to what extent it surrounds them tells me how much of an effect it has on their emotional wellbeing... So I'll address it and ask them to seek peace with the seperation to heal themselves. Usually it's a major issue in their life and drags down their personal energy in someway.
I will get medical feelings about the person when in their presence, I tell them everything I feel about them and they are usually surprised that I sense all of that, sometimes I surprise myself because I think I will feel something about them but I don't. I use it to validate to them that I can feel what they are physically feeling.
RCT123 (6 stories) (16 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-09)
I am a little older than you (32) but have felt like this since I highschool. I have never been comfortable in a bar setting with large groups of people because I always feel a negative energy which I imagine is due to the reasons people often go to the bar. Like you, I only feel interested in people watching. It's almost as though I study people and how they interact. As if I was watching a pack of animals and finding certain oddities in how they do things. That does give me a laugh occasionally, but for the most part, unless I suppress the negative energy at the bar (unfortunately through drinking), I don't enjoy it at all and feel like my skin crawls. The clubs feel like an almost "savage" environment to me. Maybe overstating it, but it makes me uncomfortable and I don't like to stay too long as a result. If not for my girlfriend, I probably wouldn't go to the bar very often. A few friends at a house or something smaller I enjoy much more as there is no feeling of bad energy, but even then I seem to have a time limit (again often a sense of disconnect). Hopefully that didn't sound too "negative". It's just cool to be able to relay that with people who are in similar situations without judgement. I am very interested in learning to do reiki myself. Like you, I am new to these concepts and this spiritual awakening. It feels great, I just need to learn how to take it one thing at a time. I feel like I am in information overload right now. It's great however. Has changed my persepctive on it all.
PeacexLovexHappiness (2 stories) (7 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-08)

Yes I do know some about chakras, I learned a bit during my reiki level 1 attunement and did some research of my own. When I see the colours it is when I am either doing reiki on myself or on others. When I do it on others I mostly see the colours gliding around, but when I do it on myself I see the streams of colour gliding around and then they swirl together and form a circle and then slowly disappear. As soon as that circle of colour disappears, the same thing will happen over again, sometimes with the same colour, sometimes a different colour will show. Does this swirling pattern mean anything significant?

I also have another question for you. My boyfriend has been having dreams that end up happening in real life. Sometimes he has very pleasant dreams, but mostly he has dreams about the bad things that happen. I have been doing reiki on him to try and help balance his energies and possibly promote more positive dreams. When I do the reiki I visualize the negative energy leaving the body and becoming engulfed in the white light, but I don't think this is working because I always ending taking on the negative energy and then I do not sleep well, have bad dreams and am in an awful mood the next day. Do you know of any way I can stop this from happening?

Thank you so much:)
freyja (4 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-08)
I am also an Aesthetician, Reiki 1 and 2 practitioner and Yoga Instructor. I also have the gift of insight and empath. Do you know much about chakras? When you close your eyes and see the colors spin that is what chakras do. They are life force energy. When you see those wheels spinning it might be that you are reading someone's energy (if the person is touching you or in your energy field) or that a certain chakra of yours has more energy. (example: purple is Ajna, third eye chakra and blue is Vishuddha, throat chakra) There can be many reasons for this, that is for you on your path to figure out why. Hope this helps.
PeacexLovexHappiness (2 stories) (7 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-07)
RCT123, I also wanted to mention that I know just how you feel about not connecting with other people. I am a young adult, 23. All my friends love to go out to bars and hang out chatting over some beers. I go every once in awhile because well I kind of feel like I have to. I love my friends and I don't want them to think that I avoid them. I just really don't care much for that kind of setting. I find it hard to stay within the conversation, I usually just end up watching them talk and interact with each other. I find it so interesting. I like hanging out with my friends much more when it is just a couple of us hanging out at someones house.

Just thought I would share, let me know if you feel the same way.
PeacexLovexHappiness (2 stories) (7 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-07)
Thank you everyone for your posts! RCT123, thank you for sharing your experiences. Right now I know I hold special abilities but I don't feel like they are very strong. I can't wait for the day that I am spiritually strong enough that I can looks around a room and see everyones auras and feel more connected to the spiritual world. You are very lucky to have been visited by angels in your dreams! Thanks again for the kind words:)

SkyLight, I was so excited and feel very blessed to have crossed paths with this woman. I have not been visited by the angels in my dreams yet, at least not that I can remember. I do hope that dream comes soon though! I am really in need of some guidance from them. I would also really like to be visited by my guides in my dreams. I'm feeling a little lost right now and could really use their presence and insight to help me along my path.

NovaStayer47, nice to meet another Christina! There must be something special about our name, because when I met the lady I spoke of, she asked my name and I told her. Then she was like "okay, that makes sense, I was getting and 'ina' vibe from you. Didnt think to ask her what that meant but I have been meaning to look it up!

FlowerOfAutumn, yes I do the same thing when I feel a presence (picture myself surrounded by loving and peaceful white light). I also make it known that if the spirit is negative it is not welcome and must leave and if it is positive then it is welcome.
FlowerofAutumn (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-06)
As was said by NovaStayer47, you do sound like an Empath.:) Healers tend to be. I am a Spiritual Healer and Empath myself, and it's fine that you feel you don't fit in, because you soon will start to feel accepted by someone, just be confident in yourself! I used to be rather afraid of my abilities, and felt like an outcast until I met my mentors and gained support by my close friends. And I understand your fear of spirits, I am also a Medium and I still jump when I see or hear a spirit! I suppose it's easier for some to deal with than others. What I usually do when I encounter a spirit, is I imagine myself engulfed in love and light, and also realize, that even though they are no longer a corporeal form, they are still people. Television likes to portray them as scary phenomenon, when really they're just as human as you or I. And a Reiki healer can do a lot of good within the medical field, I know of LPNs and RNs that have Reiki abilities.:)
-Laikyn ❤
NovaStayer47 (guest)
12 years ago (2012-10-05)
Hi! You know what's weird? My name is Christina too and I am an empath just as I think you are. (Feeling other peoples emotions) Remember that there are no such things as coincidences. You are very gifted. We are very much alike with everything that you said it sounded just like me, down right to the name! You're not alone.
I'm sorry if I cannot provide much more information but I will try to comment later.
😁 ❤ Christina.
SkyLight (1 stories) (18 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-05)
I'd die, if someone tells me something like what that woman said to you. Metatron and Uriel! What a wonderful gift. And she also told you about your aura!.
I have to ask you this, have you ever spoke to them? Or got a message from them?
Oh lord, right now I'm so exited for you!
It's time to meet your SGuide.:))
RCT123 (6 stories) (16 posts)
12 years ago (2012-10-05)
Hey Christina.
Great story, and while I can't relate to it all, there are many parts that I can.
I have recently had a reiki treatment and was told that I may be a lightworker by my energy healer. Not as significant as a healer, but important all the same. I too have always had the same feelings of not quite fitting in or being comfortable. Always distant from events even while I was in the middle of them. Not relating to people etc. Always felt like I was destined for something but could never determine what. I am new to all of this and feel like my world has been turned upside down since all of this new information has been coming through because it feels so right, but not what I have learned my whole life at all. All of this began by me realizing that for years I have been astral travelling in "dreams" and met an angel in one of my experiences who showed me my third eye in a mirror and me finally connecting the dots many years later. It freaked me out, but knowing now what you may be can only lead to comfort in this situation. I have the same feeling about ghosts and spirits, like I shouldn't be afraid to see one, but I am. Don't feel silly, you're not alone. Now that my spirit is open to this all, I feel like I am nearing what I am destined for. Keep your head up and don't be afraid to learn more about your ability. It will only help you and you'll start to feel a sense of understanding within yourself. I still am figuring out what to do with it all, and what it means, but I am on the path to it, and I find comfort in that.
Hopefully that provides you with some comfort that you aren't alone at all.
Richard from Kitchener

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