I've always known I was different. The first hint of how different was when I was around 5 or 6. I had an imaginary friend (or so my mother called her) named Jody. Jody was a pioneer girl and she was as real as I was to me. I could see her, hear her and communicate with her. I knew even at that age however not to argue when I was told she was imaginary, I knew better but still I knew no one else would understand. I started having visions at around age 7. I saw a man lying face down in the creek naked. A very light Caucasian man with blonde hair. A few days later they pulled a man out of the creek a half a mile from my house who had been stripped naked and shot. My dad was the one who found him and was amazed when I told him what the man looked like. I went years only catching glimpses here and there of things but was always to scared to fully see. By this time I had seen movies about ghost and they fully scared the living daylights out of me. At the age of 12 I had another very religious vision that haunted and made me question the world around me. I went through my teenage years rebelling and dabbling in drinking and drugs. I've always been told by my mother I'm "sensitive" but not in a good way. More in a you wear your emotions on your sleeves, what in the world is wrong with you way. I knew I could feel what others were feeling even at a young age and it both intrigued me and made me uncomfortable. I knew if someone did not like me before they even opened their mouths. This presents a very unique problem. I went on a crusade to make sure everyone liked me because it made me so sad when I felt someone didn't. I didn't like negative feelings directed at me. I was a people pleaser and had the act down. I continued numbing myself with antidepressants and other drugs through my 20's because it helped me not see and feel all the things around me. I went to Dr's thinking I was crazy only to be told I was a completely rational person what in the world would make me thing otherwise? Well if I told them the things I see I'm sure they would have changed their opinions. I finally came to the conclusion that the fact I knew to keep this to myself must in itself be conclusive evidence I was sane. In my 20's my father's mother came to me on occasion. She died at the age of 36 and I never met her in life but I developed a relation ship with her in death. I struggled through until I was 30. I had a mental break. I couldn't take it anymore. The feelings, the numbing, the anxiety I wanted out! I contemplated taking my own life. My husband stepped in and I got help. That kind of help only takes you half way. I knew I needed to find someone like me to talk to, and I did. I met an amazing psychic. I went to her not to talk to dead relatives or know if I was going to win the lottery but because I sensed she could help me. She immediately asked me if I knew what I was. I told her yes and we started an open dialogue. She taught me how to shield, she explained I wasn't insane and told me that I didn't need to rely on numbing, just understanding. I stopped taking the anxiety medication and all other medications I was using to stop the visions and am learning how to develop my gifts. They are truly gifts. I have been really active on the vision front since I opened myself up and have helped several people very dear to me. I have gotten to interact with my grandparents and even met a great aunt who is a hoot and I wished I would have known in life. I'm not perfect at it but I'm learning what to listen to and what to make of it. This is my story up to this point. I've left a lot out but you can get the gist. My latest question however is this. I have been seeing eyes lately. I close mine and I see the most beautiful set of eyes looking at me. I try to communicate but they just stare. Then I see many eyes. I can't see their faces just their eyes. Old men, young women, children all kinds of eyes. One in particular is a young Indian woman. I can tell because I catch a glimpse of hair and a sari. I can usually tell what are spirits because I don't see them as much as feel them and hear them. Spirits also usually come to me when I am asleep or fixing to go to sleep. Does anyone know anything about this? I can't do it all the time just when I am in a particular room in my house. I can't reproduce this by thinking about it or making it happen. It's not a thought I am seeing it. If that makes any sense. I just don't know why or if they are spirits. It's a different level of seeing than I am used to or have experienced. Conscious seeing is something that is very new to me. Can anyone help me with this?
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