To start, I was raised to be fearful of anything that could not be rationally explained away. So this has been a really troublesome experience. Throughout my life I've had a terrifying shadowy figure stand over me sometimes at night. I would wake up feeling terrified, see a dark figure with what seemed like it was wearing a brimmed hat standing over me. I couldn't breathe, move, or make a sound. Other times I would just stop breathing while asleep and wake up panicked with the same feeling knowing it was there. Still sometimes, like last night, I was falling asleep and just felt the cold, scary feeling in the room and knew it was there. After reading about this phenomenon, I chalked it up to being demon possesses or sleep apnea and avoided sleeping on my back. Now a days I don't view the world divided by angels and demons, but as just energy, so that has helped me not be as terrified, but still has not explained this occurrence. But last night, as well as a couple I times, it happened and I wast on my back so I ruled out apnea. I was too tired to wake up to properly shoo it away with calling on good energy, white light, Goodness, angels, and basically any positive entity that I could think of, dream of, or muster like I normally do. So instead, in my semi awakened state I had an epiphany. The thought popped in my mind that what ever it was wasn't intentionally trying to torment me, that was just my natural reaction to something not of my comfy and familiar materialized world. Immediately after I had that thought, I could feel my spirit become giddy and I physically felt like my oft and self was buzzing and vibrating with energy. I even saw strange colors. Keep in mind I haven't taken any drugs or anything. I had all of these rapidly incoming thoughts, or truths, firing through my mind but I can't recall what they were, yet I know that I have them stored away subconsciously. I realized the panic and anxiety was actually an energy surge and so each time I felt what I thought was the feeling of fear or panic start last night, I accepted, or explored it, and let it happen and the fear quickly went away and I would have the feeling of energy zipping through me.
While I appreciate people sharing similar stories, I'm really hoping someone can tell me what is going on. I don't consider myself psychic or to have psychic abilities. The only thing I have going for me is that I can see auras but no color, and this has been all my life. Even after attempts and exercises to further develop that. I have just been trying to clear my mind and draw closer to Spirit/God, maybe that has something to do with it? Idk, any ideas?