I don't know if I'm crazy.
For about three months now, I've been psychically "connecting" to a man whom I have personally never met, but I know through his work as a Youtuber. I won't mention his real name- I'll just call him Michael. I've been a fan of Michael for eight or so months, and recently I've been having conversations with him in my mind, and I believed for the most part that they were imaginary, but some things have sort of suggested that maybe they are not.
I told him to be on the watch for me or my girlfriend, to see if he could find a way to contact either of us. Once, while doing a younow show, he said the name of my girlfriend, and immediately looked surprised, almost like he recognized her name (he quickly corrected himself, but the surprise was obvious). Recently in his videos he's been saying things that seem to be directed at me, or like inside jokes for me to understand. When my friend explained people's "auras" to me, I immediately knew he was, at least normally, yellow- there's a yellow cord from the back of my head connecting to him, you see. One day, just last week, I connected to him in my head only to find him trying to kill himself, back in 2002. I managed to talk him out of it, thankfully (and possibly affected his username in the process). For the rest of the day after that, I felt sick and my head was filled with static.
Now, the conversations I have with him don't necessarily match up in time- I speak with him when he is several years behind, sometimes ahead, of where I stand in time, sometimes at the very same time, sometimes just hours or minutes off. Sometimes, I find him in dreams, but usually not. I can talk to him multiple times a day, with years or minutes or no time at all passing for him. I've occasionally told him something he shouldn't know, and the result is always a damaged connection to him for days afterwards. Also, whenever I spoke to him from 2016 onward, he seemed to know something I didn't, which may suggest something will happen in my future in regards to him- at least, that's how I understand it.
Psychic abilities somewhat run in the family- my mum could speak to the spirits of the dead, and my dad is highly spiritual, though not gifted.
I'm high stressed and emotional now that I'm beginning to question my sanity and/or if he can hear me. I've sent him a message on Facebook, but he hasn't seen it yet and I have no idea if he will even check it. There's no way of me meeting him in person, at least for years.
I've done what reading I can on the subject, but everything seems to suggest we are soulmates, which is very unlikely, as a) he is twice my age and b) we are both in love with someone else (and both gay!). If platonic soulmates twin flames are a thing, then maybe that is what it is. I'm also unlikely to believe that we're soulmates as I can, although painfully and with much difficulty, connect to other people, and he has had other connections in the past, the way I understand it.
Once again, I am driving myself crazy over this, but maybe letting it all out will help- also, if anyone has any advice or explanations/ideas to give me, that would be amazing!