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Magpie's Reacting To Rejection Of Thought


I've written about this type of thing before. However before my enviroment's reaction came only from electronic devices.

Now I've noticed that whenever I am thinking of these thoughts and know I do it, I either see magpie's or I can hear them.

I've looked at what magpie's represent symbolically. What I got out of that was that they represent change, and a certain yin yang relationship.

I've been trying to process the events that lie behind the thoughts I'm rejecting but I find it extremely hard to do.

I want to know the purpose of those events but I can't find them. I have no idea how to process it and instead I find myself getting extremely bitter towards the world/God/Source/Nature. As I do not understand why it or I would do these things to me/myself.

In all due honesty I've been wanting to leave this planet for about a decade now as I do not see a reason for the shear amount of suffering on this planet. It makes me feel disgusted at whatever created this place.

I realize that you're supposed to be grateful for what you have. But how can I be grateful for what I have when 2/3rds of the population have so little they can barely feed themselves. I also understand that all of this is temporary, that it is all an illusion etc. However I can't seem to let go of trying to fix things.

I guess it's part of the deal of coming here or something. But the whole, you know everything but you also don't is really getting on my nerves. It's a kind of paradox that frustrates me.

Same thing goes for the magpies and electrical devices responding to my rejection of certain thoughts. I don't understand what I need to learn from them and I most certainly do not understand why I already know things from the future.

The distance from me to the magpies often is about 50 meters or so. The electrical devices respond to me within 10/5 meters. The only scientific explanation I could find is that the heart generates an electromagnetic field and when I reject a thought my heart skips a bit because of the resistance and increases the amount of amps running through the field. Causing a reaction from the devices and the magpies.

Spiritually I have no idea.

If anyone could shed some light on this that would be much appreciated.

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