Ever since I can remember, I have just "known" things. I am an empath with precognition, and I can sense spirits. I could see spots of white light and shadows, but never a fully manifested spirit. Both of my parents were clairvoyent. My grandmother always knew when anyone in the family was going to conceive a child and her sister always knew the sex of the that child.
My father use to tell me that he would see his deceased friend sitting at the foot of my bed, watching over me on a regular basis. I always found it odd, since his friend died before I was born. But considering we lived in a house with spirits, I guess I should not be surprised. A closet door in my dad's bedroom was almost impossible to open. He broke a knife trying to pry it open before finally giving up. The door opened on it's own a couple of nights, freezing my dad and step-mom out in the summer in a house with no AC. My brother's and my toys would "relocate" during the night. You haven't lived until you wake up to see a Barbie doll walking down the hall; just ask my brother. The spirits protected my brother and me from our step-mom, also. One day when she went to get a wooden spoon from the kitchen to whip my brother, appliances that were unplugged turned on.
Basically, what I am saying is that I grew up thinking that this was the norm. I wasn't taught to hide my gifts or to be ashamed of them.
One night when I was about 11, I had an experience so terrifying that I ALMOST completely shut my gifts off. I was laying in bed, just about to fall asleep, when I swear that I seen something digging up from below the ground in front of my window. What appeared to be a demon complete with horns, glowing red eyes, and long claw-like fingers emerged from the hole. As I hid trembling under the blankets, I could sense it peering in my bedroom window looking for me. Pure evil and malice radiated from the creature. I laid as still as I could while singing "This Little Light of Mine" and "Jesus Loves Me" in my head. After only moments that seemed like an eternity to me, the demon just turned around and crawl back in the hole. I knew that I wasn't asleep and it wasn't a dream, but in the morning there were no signs on my windowsill or on the ground. I had no evidence that it ever happened. For years I've somehow managed to block this ordeal from my mind.
During the past five years I have been going through some major medical issues. And about a year ago I was put through an emotionally traumatizing ordeal involving my marriage due to my medical issues. For some reason the ordeal with my marriage brought back all the memories of that night. It also made me realize that, although I still have my gifts, I can no longer control them. I regularly ground myself, meditate, and use crystals. Yet, I still cannot intentionally utilize any of my gifts. It literally feels like some external force is keeping my third eye closed. Every time I either start to go into a meditative trance or feel like I am making any headway on reopening my third eye, something always happens. I've had someone knock on the door, one of my kids get out of bed, water drip on my head when the faucet is on the other side of the tub, my husband who usually doesn't move in his sleep has suddenly jerked, my cats have opened the closed door and jumped in my lap, birds have started chirping in the dead of night, the wind suddenly started howling on a still night... You name it, it has probably happened to me lately to break my trance. It causes me to wonder if it has anything to do with the demon I saw as a child or if something is trying to tell me that I am not physically or mentally ready to handle controlling my gifts right now.