I don't know what I feel makes sense or not but after much a consideration thought of posting it in this site. I believe I will get an answer to my situation. Since childhood I felt I m very much inclined to God and I used to feel I am someway have a spiritual connection. I am very emotional and people's sorrow or pain used to make me sad and make me cry. I could cry for no reason at all. As I had an unexplained gloominess inside me. Then once I grew up, I used to feel I am so much connected to God that my prayers can do any thing. I have real life examples that actually strengthened my belief. If I prayed with all my heart it used to happen.
With time, a terrible thing happened in my family. My sister was diagnosed with a life threatening disease and the point is the day she felt sick, the last night I was feeling restless and as I was sleeping I saw a shadow formed in the wall of a bald person and in spite of trying I was unable to get rid of it. Later she was diagnosed with brain cancer and doctors claimed that she cannot be saved. Me and my family tried every bit and prayed and she was finally cured. During this course I went through so much trauma and sorrow. I started feeling that I sense things before it actually happens and it left me worried and scared and traumatized. I tend to feel bad things beforehand.
From my life experiences I feel where ever I go. All the hidden issues creeps up and ultimately I struggle a lot to better the situations and finally situation gets better there and I leave to some other situations where the same cycles get repeated. This in my personal life or professional. My presence solved many issues but ultimately I tend to lose everything. This has left me pained upset and I have started recognizing the trend so much so that I am scared now. I don't know is it my imagination or what I have no idea. I feel I will always lose everything in life. What should I do? Is this normal?