This is a continuation of my story, I am posting it is 2 parts as it seemed rather long.
My sister's best friend is getting married. I fly to Arizona to be a bridesmaid. I share a hotel room with two other bridesmaids, my sister's good friends. The morning of the wedding I have a dream.
I am in a room with a couple of my sisters friends (not the ones I am rooming with). We are hanging out, drinking, having fun. I look at her and am so happy to see her, then I realize that she is dead, and that this will not last. I become upset and talk to her. I tell her "Sandy, I cannot keep doing this. I miss you so much, and every time you visit me in my dreams I am so happy, but you act like you have not died, and you won't admit that you are gone. Every time I wake up I cry and cry because you are not there. You can't do this anymore. You can come to me in my dreams but you are dead you have to let go, its ok." She looks sad again, her sadness reaches to my very soul. I hug her tight.
The next scene she is in what I can only describe as a hangar or terminal of some sort. There are people coming and going all around me. She is some distance away now standing amongst all these bustling people. Then she bursts into a glowing light and disappears. I fall to the ground sobbing. I wake up sobbing as well. No one hears me. I go outside, still crying. I say out loud "Goodbye Sandy" and go back inside. I tell everyone later of my dream and of course we are all in tears. It was my most profound dream about her.
I still dream of her, but they are somehow different. It's like we know she is only visiting and it is ok. I still have not seen my nephew, I don't know why. There are so many mornings, even now 6 years later that I awaken and my very first thought is of her, I can feel her here like she was sitting with me a moment ago. Many times I wake up and my first words are Sandy... I miss her terribly, I just wish I could know beyond a doubt that it is really her. But how could it not be? Sometimes I go to call my son or husband and for some reason I say "Sandy", out of nowhere. I want the power to understand.