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Feeling Music


My name is Jordan.

I am a very quiet (not necessarily shy) person, I'm thin (139ish lbs), and consider myself decently attractive.

I guess I'm writing this story to get opinions on what I have felt my entire life, and more recently beginning to come to terms with, especially after reading articles on the definition of an "Empath".

As I read them, I almost wanted to excitedly jump up and down and point, thinking it was perfectly describing me.

However I am a very skeptical person at the same time, is there a way to gain proof that I am truly, accurately sensing people's emotions simply by listening and looking at them?

Likewise with music, I get intense emotions from the song, based on the way it feels to me. When I was going through a period of suicidal intention in my life (Age 15-16), I would often feel "fed" by listening to angry metal such as Slayer, and just dwelling in it as if it was somehow taking away my anger with the world.

When I listen to classical music I feel at peace, and often in awe.

I have played piano my entire life, and when I press a single note in a quiet room, my soul is filled with wonder and happiness, especially as I continue to play.


One example is that this song:


Makes me feel sad, reflective and happy at the same time. I find it gorgeously amazing, pure and dream like.

Movies such as the Lion King would, and still do, make me cry when I watch them, because I can feel how Simba would feel to watch his dad be killed. Then my mind will argue it's just a cartoon, and that it's silly to cry about it. I just can't help it.

Overall, in general, I feel like a very complicated person and I've done some very bad things in the past, and I don't know why I did them, why I feel the way I feel I do in many situations, and would really like to talk to someone that might be able to give a perspective of who I am from outside of my own mind, that is perhaps as empathetic as I can be.

I've done a decent amount of 'scene' drugs, in the preceding 6 months of the submission of this story, including X.lsd.mushrooms...

And sometimes, especially lately, wonder if they have permanently changed the way I think and perceive things, and often find myself asking people I have just met if they think I am insane.

Everybody continuously answers no, they think I'm "one of the most chill, and nicest person they've ever met."

I find it difficult to stay in a job without feeling like it "robs my soul." I had a very bad experience slowly being brainwashed at a CVS Pharmacy store in Atlanta, and ended up losing my girlfriend of 3 years from my detachment of emotions. I promptly quit after that and felt as if the world had turned 4000 shades lighter in color, and that every breath was fresher than the last, despite the pain I felt from losing her.

I'm just looking for someone to talk to about these sorts of things where I will not feel like I am rambling and only talking about myself.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, azuredeath663, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Zaikyo (1 posts)
12 years ago (2010-07-24)
Oh my God when I read this I just had to comment. You sound EXACTLY like me even down to the name! I was labeled an Empath at age 13 (15 now.) So not very long. I have a connection with the energy of those around me and the atmosphere itself. But my BIGGEST connection is and has always been- music. And I could never explain it to people in words. Its something I've just assumed you can only feel. When I listen to certain songs I feel like I'm... Possessed. It takes over you mind/spirit but in the most captivating way. Certain songs DO make you feel all of those emotions at once. For me this is one of them:
(And if you listen to the Classical White Version its also very beautiful.)

I listen to music in a completely different language (japanese) so I hardly know what the lyrics are unless I bother to look up translations. And people who aren't into it like me always ask "How can you listen to something you can't understand?" And I always say to them "Because I don't need the lyrics to understand. I can just feel the music." I'm drawn to it. I can't live without it. My peace and comfort and happiness come from music. And really my psychic abilities are centered around it. I am most in tune when listening to music. And with certain songs I have these visions- bits and pieces of places and people and times. Always of the past. Music makes me feel very nostalgic. But I have learned that its not really what I SEE that makes up the vision. That's just my brains way of trying to interpret. The real vision itself is the FEELING I get. It can't be described its just like... Knowing. You just know, even if you don't know. If that makes sense? No one has ever explained any of this to me. I have always thought it was my own weird thing. But its amazing to know someone could feel the same way. This is like fate lolz. And I don't think you're crazy. Though I've never taken drugs, I believe you are Empathic and I'm really happy I read this. ^^

Love Zai~ ❤
SagittariusSunStorm (5 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-06)
personally, I think you are an empath, you just need to have confidence in yourself. I'm psycic, but I somrtimes wonder if I am an empath because I do tell what other people are feeling/thinking, and I see people's auras. I also cry at cartoons- especially one called 'the rescuers' where a little girl gets kidnapped, and I always cry for the girl.

I also get that kind of calm feeling with music, like I feel I have reached an inner peace... But its only with songs without lyrics and if there are vocals they are blended into the background. Good luck on getting your ability back to its full potential... It will change your life in the best way possible ❤
Casey (3 stories) (33 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-04)
You seem like a very strong empath, which can be a good thing and both a bad thing depending on the emotions of others around you. One way of testing your empathy skills is to test yourself with people. If the emotions your feel are the same as that person's, its a good sign. Most empaths have trouble in crowds by getting claustrophobic and having anxious feelings. We collect emotions from anything and everyone, including music and movies. If you have any questions just ask, there's a lot of people here wanting to help.
Donni (24 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-04)
Hi Azure, First of all I want you to know that your soul is very special to God. You were created in His image. You can and will overcome the drug effects, as you have the healing power of youth going for you. Now that you realize that you are a very sensitive person, you need to only do what gives you positive, pleasant feelings. If Classical music gives you peace, then only listen to classical. Personally I prefer music without words for relaxation. Zen C.D.'s are great and create pleasant thoughts. We all have baggage in our lives that we don't care to relive and many songs take us to places that we don't need to go. Promise me that you'll start taking care of your soul, concentrate on you and no one else right now. The loving spirit of animals gives me peace, it could do that for you too. Try a job where you work with animals, unlike some people they are totally about love and forgiving. My animals love beautiful soft music also. An experiment done with plants proved that the ones that were exposed to Classical music thrived and the ones exposed to loud heavy metal music died. I heard that Heaven is a beautiful place, chiming with Angelic sounds. We can make Heaven here on Earth if we try. Please try. I love you and so does God, you can believe me, as I'm psychic. D. ❤
TheWatcher330 (3 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-02)
Hey my names Colton and I also have strong emotions with music. But with me its a little different. When I hear music or talk to people I see a certain color. And certain colors make me feel different emotions. Just thought id share
Pixies (4 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-02)
I seem to feel music better than most people.
Certain harmonies generate strong emotions within.
epoy1984 (14 stories) (644 posts)
13 years ago (2009-07-01)
I used to play a song by glen entitled lovers moon. Whenever I listen to this music, I feel energized. Oh by the way sometimes I can predict the next song on the radio after the one that is being played. I am always correct with my predicting about music by means of singing only to it and in a matter of minutes I will soon hear its beat and harmony. Lastly azuredeath663, do not let it down to you, cheer up I think you are also a psychic, it is only waiting to be discovered by you. Always meditate, do not take bad drugs that might affect your ability except the kind of drug that you need if you ever had an illness. This is a good psychic secret. I should tell you so you might get a chance to reborn your psychic abilities.

Here are the lists:
-Always meditate in a quiet place (research this step by step on other people or through the net).
-always go to church and pray to your god who is good if you are not a christian.
-stop sinning and do always good unto others and stop sinning.
-Do not let anger be unto you, be kind to others as well as animals.
If you will able to perfected it, then I think god will give you a chance to reborn your abilities as a psychic.
That is all! Thank you for reading and good day! =)
❤ 😁 😉
Taurusgirl10 (8 stories) (113 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-30)
I agree with Sarah12375. Rock music just doesn't give me a kind of feeling like it doesn't have any emotion to it. Drugs can affect your brain in a lot of ways. Empathic abilities can vary from feeling people's emotion to a song or a movie's moood or emotion. Hope that helped. 😊
sarah12375 (6 stories) (106 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-29)
I know I'm only 14; but I know how you feel. Lately because of my empathy, I tend to cry at basically any movie if they produce the right emotions. Like in Beethoven I cried when the girl got 'kidnapped' and back with her family. I felt like I was in her place and I was able to feel what I would have felt if I was in that situation.
For music, I can only listen to music that I can here emotions. All that pop and most rnb I can only listen to occasionally because to me there's is no emotion. Nothing that someone can connect to, don't get me wrong for people who like that type of music, that's all I used to listen to, it's just I feel liked I'm blocked. As if there's no emotion coming through it, so I don't tend to listen. I also like you feel the differences through the music and they could even set my mood.

I trying to say that no you're not insane, it's what society made us what to think, that is what's insane.

Drugs; what ever type you do, interferes with certain brain waves and cause some amount of damage.

If you want to talk: kikyo10kagome [at]

Made that when I was 7
cuduck (1 stories) (5 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-26)
jordan, my name is Elaina Pirrone, I am 13 years old and the same thing happens to me. I often find myself questioning my sanity and have been suicidal. If you could send me your e-mail address than that would be very helpful. I would like to hear more about your experiences and I'd like to tell you some of mine, I've been looking for answers for a long time and I think you might be able to help me a lot. My e-mail is pirr1.elainam.1996 [at]
Doublemint (3 stories) (261 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-25)
We all co-exist under the same universal mind, each soul vibrating on it own tonal frequency and set mind path. We all perceive things solely through our own personal life experiences. The key to co-existing is letting go of all negativity because its heavy to carry. Think and feel about it for a moment. All things that you want are made up of this energy. Learn to focus on the positive thought energy, allowing it to stretch outwards to feel and connect with the source, one mind is all intelligence, all wisdom, and all perfection, and it is everything and everywhere at the same time. So if everything is the One Universal Mind, and the whole of it exists everywhere, then it most certainty resides within you. Be in harmony with all that surrounds you, learn to find your true north for it is there where you will find your place of balance.
It truly is a gift to be able to feel music intuitively, oh how it lulls us all to connect to the place before sound begins as it is being written before heard through the ear of the heart. You are not insane, you just need to find your place of balance. Listen to music that is soothing and healing for your soul. If you have abstained from all substances, and eat properly your body in time will heal. Accept the changes that you can make, the rest will fall in to place in its own time.
You will find yourself... Again.
Peace and Light to you
azuredeath663 (2 stories) (5 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-25)
thank you for the great replies I liked the bible verses too it reminds me of my childhood and gives me comfort.

Honestly I'm ready to run screaming from the world already tonight, when just last night I was one with the world and it's people and myself.

I don't know what truths are really truths, other than what I can perceive, because life is only defined by my own perceptions of the same plane we all co-exist on, everyone's perception is completely different, therefore we all do not exist together, but in our own universes on one plane of the universe.

I seriously feel like I'm going absolutely insane!

On top of "feeling music", I also tend to gain a sense of sincerity behind it. For example listening to blink 182 tracks leaves my mouth feeling dry in how empty they feel! Or many of these (as I call them, Candy) bands sound like. Brittany spears, N'Sync, it all seems like a fake I don't feel anything from it, it's just sweet sugar coated candy music that has no substance.

So is all this me just being normal, and becoming insane with letting go that I'm not some amazingly unique and special person, and for me to be able to function like a normal person in reality, I have to accept this?

I came here because all of these answers I find fleeting within my own mind, and everything is a contradiction, as if every thought I have is countered with a rebuttal, infinitely contradicting.


I really think the drugs permanently damaged my brain... I'm stuck in thoughts of "feeling" music in the air with my body, "watching it" flow into peoples ears and hearts and effecting their behavior, seeing thought processes and interactions in the air as they flow from one mind to another.

. But I suppose the more I think about it the more my mind will be set on that, I need to accept it and move on with my life and realize in myself I am changed person from having taken these drugs...

I miss myself...
Doublemint (3 stories) (261 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-25)
Right on target "absolutely" I too feel the music the same way as you do. My soul seems to wake as if I'm picking up the artists feelings as they hit each tonal note. The total experience is like taking in a breath and exhaling over each note played, I have to agree with you on the intense of emotions picked up. I don't feel your complicated at all, the past is the past and you can't rewrite history were relationships are concerned. Abstain from drugs, you don't need it to cover up feelings. Glad you joined this site perhaps you will learn many things about yourself and your gift by reading the postings. Empaths pull everything in very deeply to the point of becoming overwhelmed. Since you enjoy listening to music, choose pieces that lift you up when your feeling to many things around you. I have email if you care to ramble about yourself.
Take care
D' mint
mandelfamily (1 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-24)
Jordan, I have had similiar experiences and known others who have. First off, you need to be on guard. As you have already realized people, songs, media, and just about anything can really affect your soul. This is not a coincidence. I think God has blessed you with these gifts of empathy and possibly eventually discernment.
Philippians Chapter 4
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Please pray for peace. I believe that God will give you peace and guidance.

Also, I have recently learned that the Greek word for witchcraft or sorcery in the Bible (Book of Revelation) is Pharmacia. I take this to mean drugs. I believe that drugs are a gateway to allowing spirits to influence you. I have seen this in a friend even when it was alcohol. Please be sober so that you will not succumb to any attempts to thwart your path that God has set up for you. Jer. 29:11
Ashers (1 stories) (4 posts)
13 years ago (2009-06-24)
There is a difference between that what an 'empath' feels and that which a typical person feels- and generally both of these types of people feel intense emotions while listening to musique and watching particular movies. If somebody watched the Lion King and watched that part of the movie AND didn't cry... There evidently would be something wrong with them, lol, and that would be called apathy disorder and that has something to do with dysfunction in the frontal lobes of the brain and nothing to do with empath sensitivities.

Drugs CAN cause permanent damage to the brain and its main receptors. While some drugs may give you a temporary contentment- it is necessary to avoid anything that could alter your mind.

While I doubt that what you're feeling as anything to do with alterations to the brain- temporary or otherwise- I think that what you are feeling is just some compassion for humanity and good old empathy.

Empathy and compassion is something that many lack these days and you ought to be proud of this characteristic of yourself.

Musique will eternally be the one step even the most mundane of us will take into the world of subconciousness- releasing the endorphins and 'feel good' chemicals throughout our bodies... Which would definitely explain why you feel so much emotion when watching movies or listening to some powerful musique.

I hope that helped.
I guess some people find it disconcerning that science and emotions are one and the same, huh?
So next time you watch the lion king- cry tears of pride! Lol!

Best of luck.

AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
13 years ago (2009-06-24)
Any good song or movie (animated or otherwise) is going to evoke emotions in a human, especially if they are deeply empathetic. Those movies and songs are popular for a reason - they are good. They do what they were intended to do which is entertain, and make us 'feel'.

Most jobs are not going to resonate with the human soul. And if they didn't pay us, we'd not be doing it (that's why they are jobs and not hobbies). Few are lucky enough to work in a field they enjoy but I highly recommend you find what brings you happiness and pursue it. Living a life of quiet desperation is no way to go.

Most young people accept the surface crap delivered to them from society but you do not. It's not a pleasant gift initially to see through all this nonsense. Any intuitive, intelligent and questioning soul is going to want to run screaming from this planet at some time in their life. That is, until they come to terms with their purpose and the lessons they came (though subconsciously) to endure. You're not insane. What's insane is the world around us and we're told to swallow it as sane but it's not.

To be empathetic doesn't mean you're psychic, it means you're able to sense other people's emotions. It means you can read people. Any person who doesn't have their head crammed in their own world is going to be that.

Keep being true to yourself.


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