Ever since I was a kid I've wondered who I was. What I mean is, I have this weird feeling I'm not who I am suppose to be. As a kid I have 3 memories that don't add up one bit, they are all dreams. At least I think they're a dream.
I'm walking with my mom and brother, we're in this giant wasteland. I was happy and playing around so much, my mom and brother were emotionless. We walk up to this giant blue "Portal" in the ground and when I jump in I wake up, but that day.
I remember asking my siblings who they were, where I was and who I was. I felt as if I was missing out on something, as if I changed.
The second memory is again when I'm a kid, I'm climbing a bookshelf and it fell on me. I died. A shelf snapped my neck. I can remember dying so clearly I could even feel the pain of everything hitting me, something hit my eyebrow. I couldn't tell what it was but... When I woke up I was in my bed. But I looked in the mirror and noticed I have a scar on my right eyebrow.
The third memory is when I'm a teenager, it's when my abilities first started to manifest (with me noticing), I started seeing glimpses of the future in my dream (I have precognition), and I had this vision I was, in bed with my wife doing things.
Anyway, I was watching outside from a window wondering what was happening. Then someone grabbed me my shoulder and turned me around, and when I looked it was me, only a more serious, and angry looking version, he was way stronger than me I could tell just by looking. He felt like he was a part of me I left behind. He asked me and in a very rude tone I might add. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" He let me go and I "Flew" into the sky into and woke up.
Ever since then my abilities have been growing and shrinking, dying down when I want them to work, but getting explosive results when I don't, recently and I don't know why, but I've been drowning myself in comic books, and tv shows. When I watch and read them (and I know this sounds stupid) I feel like I'm missing something, a part of me that's been taken or that I'm longing to go to a place I've long since forgotten. But I summarize that down to just envy, that thing's go their way and seem to suck for me.
But it feels like I'm missing a piece of me but I KNOW, I'm not. I'm all here I've been this way, since I can remember, these feelings about me missing something are confusing me, as I know losing a piece of yourself is not possible. I don't know why and I can't explain why I feel this but can someone please help?