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The Ex-empath


I don't know if I'm an 'active psychic', which to me means someone who can actively use their psychic abilities. But I do have some strange experiences, so maybe someone can help me with this:

When I was a child, I used to be insanely sensitive. I would be able to tell what someone was feeling just by focusing on them for a minute. That's what people have told me. However, I cannot remember anything from my past up to around age 15 (I'm 16 currently). Before that's it's just blank. I won't go into specifics, but in my past there was abuse.

Now, that ability from when I was younger has sort of changed. Now I see colors whenever I meet a person, I can locate where a person is just by focusing on them, and a lot of the time I can tune in to what a person is thinking, again just by focusing. But emotions? On the contrary, I can't feel anything when a person is angry or sad or otherwise emotional. I can see a color when something in them changes, I can understand why they are emotional, I can even know how to use them for what they are doing. I'm not saying that the things I've done were right, but I know how to manipulate a person just because I know their thought processing and their color.

Now when I say their color, I mean their 'personality-emotion' but I guess the closest thing I could compare it too is an aura. However, instead of seeing a shield around a person I see a ball of colored energy. The aura colors are the same, and I don't have to have the person close to me, they can be far away. Anyways, now I'm kind of like an Ex-Empath. I know and understand what the person is feeling, but I myself don't feel it. In fact, most of the time I'm numb. I looked up Charka blockages and I think I might have one because of my past, but a second opinion would be great.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, o0Graffiti0o13, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

whitebuffalo (guest)
13 years ago (2011-02-03)
Adaryn7, YES. That is partially what I described. For ME, it is more of a pulsating, constant thing and not just a "flash".
YEARS ago I met a woman who was "confused" about MY Aura (threw ME into confusion, as well). She had said that mine "flips through the rainbow". I never mentioned that I thought that was "normal" (I, personally, saw that when I looked at others) as SHE seemed to be so knowledgeable. I just figured I had no clue what I was talking about. Maybe needed glasses or something.
Come to discover, there are MANY of us out here who see it just like that.
Thank you.
Adaryn7 (6 stories) (460 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-02)
Hi Graffiti

Interesting story. I've seen colours appear sort of like flashes around people--is this what you and whitebuffalo are describing? Is is not part of aura, or at least related to it in some way, as one's thoughts affect the appearence of the aura, do they not? I am curious. I used to see aura quite well at times, but recently other senses seem to have strengthened at the expense of that one. Shame, as I miss the colours: (Before I saw aura (or even knew about it), I used to describe people in terms of a colour. (For example I said that one of my friends was dark green). I saw his aura briefly one evening, which looked like uneven patches of a cool green floating around his head, along with some yellow, if I recall correctly. I wonder, has this happened to you two as well?

I'm not sure about repressed memories. Many psychologists think that there is no evidence to support the theory of repressed memories. Personally, I think it's plausable--but I am not a psychologist, and all options need to be taken into consideration.

Looking forward to hearing your opinions.

Shinigami0 (2 stories) (204 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-01)
Ananda makes a very good point.

If you go through a traumatic experience or something that is very uncomfortable, oftentimes, your mind has coping mechanisms that will repress memories.

I can't remember the exact terminology, but I think the gist is down, lol.

Thanks for sharing, and definitely keep us updated!

Au revior. 😊 ❤
AnandaHya (guest)
13 years ago (2011-02-01)
wait, sorry previously I just skimmed your story and probably shouldn't have posted because I completely missed reading your second paragraph.

Back track: you don't remember anything before the age of 15 because of abuse that happened in your past?

That sounds like a protective mechanism that you or your spirit guide has set up to protect you from that memory. When you "unlock" your charkas the memories shoudl come back to you. I suggest that you make sure you are emotionally and mentally prepared for that. Memory loss is sometimes used to protect the individual.

For example a very close friend of mine told me she couldn't remember the face of the person who raped her at age 5 but were scared of my parakeets because it happened in an aviary. The birds reminded her of the incident, but that is another story.

I still think your heart charka has been shielded so that you can heal and deal with this pain and hurt that person or persons caused you. While your body may appeared to be healed from the incident your soul and heart still need time to mend. Your powers will increase as your natural healing increases (or so I've been told by my spiritual teachers in the astral for those who might ask my source of information)

There are also psychology book that state the same thing. What books of this world may not state is that your psychic abilities draw darkness and beings that would like to fed on the unwary. You must protect yourself and your loved ones from predators. YOu have innate talents that give you an early warning system, you see their emotions and you can use that to determine if their intentions against you are bad.

You have built up anger which might explain why you "manipulate" people. However, I should warn you that manipulation often backfires and causes you more trouble and calls more darkness and negative energy to surround you and your life that it is hard to shake off. You can do it though. Have faith in yourself and that fact you can take back your life and deal with your past so that you can make a better and brighter future for yourself.

Peace, light and love

whitebuffalo (guest)
13 years ago (2011-02-01)
Oh my Good Heavens.
I am living this particular story.
I also have Energy Synesthesia. MOST people who have Synesthesia will envision a color for a letter or number. For example, the number two is shown as yellow or orange.
Mine goes a step in another direction. For me, (and this does not happen with everyone I meet) I can see a pale blue if there is no "obvious" emotion (that usually means someone is calm), and BOLD colors to depict their outbursts of personal emotion.
You are right. This is NOT their Aura. It IS their personal emotion color.
Also, I have been told NUMEROUS times that I do not carry my own emotions. That is really not all that true. I feel just as every other "normal" person out there, but the emotion tends to be to the smaller scale. So when I am in the clutches of a deep depression, let us just say, EVERY one knows I am depressed. I tend to slide into the emotion of whoever I am with.
INwardly, I still feel my OWN emotion (though at times, they are so mild they do not seem to exist).
Just thought I would let you know that you are NOT alone.
Thank you.
moonshine (123 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-01)
I would suggest you work on clearing the root, and the sacral. The root chakra governs, amoung other things, security and the survival instinct. This is where I think most of your "blockage" is, as abuse of any kind can make you question your personal security, and cause the "survival mode" to kick in.

The sacral chakra governs emotions. Although all chakras are inter-related and if one needs healing, the others suffer, these two are probably the ones where you need to direct the most attention.

Good luck to you, keep me posted! 😊
AnandaHya (guest)
13 years ago (2011-02-01)
sounds like you are using your eye chakra and not your heart charka, if I have my heart charka blocked or shielded I feel numb, but can still "see" emotions using my eye charka.

Sorry kids want to go for a walk, email me if you like. I might forget to check this page, I want to read the other stories:)
o0Graffiti0o13 (1 stories) (1 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-01)
I'm already in therapy and am working on this problem with my therapist now that you've brought it up, so thank you for you're concern. 😊 Thank you also for you're second opinion on a charka blockage, because I'm new at this I'd like to ask which charka you think is blocked?
moonshine (123 posts)
13 years ago (2011-02-01)
Graffiti, I think you're right about the blockages stemming from your past. It seems to be your own defense mechanism. You've managed to be able to close down your emotions so that the abuse you experienced can't be felt, and in the process, lost the memory of those times. It's difficult to feel another's emotions if you don't know HOW they should feel. Make sense?

My concern is for your mental health. I suggest getting some therapy, not because of your belief that you have these abilities, but because of the inability to feel your OWN emotions.

Understandably, it's a give and take situation. If you're able to recover your emotions and thereby the ability to sense other's, you may lose the other abilities in the process. But, you may not. I'd say it's a fair trade, wouldn't you?

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