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A Curse Or Just Normal Life


Alright, here's the story. From the moment I regained consciousness (about 14 years ago, this is a whole different story) it feels like I've been stuck in some sort of time paradox. Its as if "time" flows forward just as normal but pretty much my entire life I have had the same exact conversation with every single person. No matter who I talk to, no matter who talks to me, no matter what I do, I hear the same god damn words come out of every ones mouth. I can tell a person about something that they have no idea about and like a week later they come up to me to tell me what I told them like I don't know. Its at a point that I don't even need (or want to for that matter) to "hang" around anyone because I already know what they are going to say and do. My life has been nothing but SSDD (I'm assuming that people are mature enough to know what that means) I already know that humans live a routine life, i.e sleep, eat, work, but is it normal to have the same exact conversation with people?

My questions are that is this a curse? Or is this how normal humans are with each other? Is it just the people in my idiotic town that are like this or is the rest of the world just as stupid.

Can anyone answer me because I'm going freaking insane hearing the same idiotic things over and over again.

I've thought long and hard about what I've been going through but all I can come up with is that human existence is completely and utterly pointless.

If anyone doesn't understand or needs me to clarify something just ask.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Stark, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Javelina (67 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-24)
[at] bbdeathspark,
Good call Sparky, this one just gets better and better as the comments keep coming!

[at] Stark,
All this is very interesting. It sounds as if you found a way to avenge yourself for the treatment you received at the hands of your tormenters. These so called "victims" were the ones who caused you so much distress growing up, right?
And these "supernatural" abilities? So what are those anyway? What is it about those abilities that would put them in the SUPER category? Because when I think Super, I think of the ability to fly or shoot laser beams out of my eyes you know, things that would be impossible for us normal, everyday humans. Something that would make a person stand out in a crowd and cause others to feel safe and protected in their presence.
Because using any perceived ability for anything other than a good and unselfish purpose, in my opinion, is not only foolish but a waste.
You may honestly believe that you took the souls of others. And if that's what makes you feel better you just go on thinking it. I don't know what ever gave you the idea that there was anything you could do that couldn't be undone by someone else (I'm of the mind that God does a whole lot less intervening and more observing than than the other way around), it's how these things work. You screw something up and someone else pays for it.
Crap rolls downhill kiddo, so keep your eyes peeled for elephants. That's how karma works in my world, you never know when it will demand payment, you just know that it will.
(you're going to need it!)
j-torrez (3 stories) (53 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-21)
Stark this all seems like what I tried to do my whole life. One thing to watch out for is ever turning back. Once you make these mod souls of fragments of you and split yourself from human emotions it's over. Don't turn back that was the mistake I made and am now regretting it. In fact I suggest that if you still have not succeeded in perfecting your mod souls or losing all human emotion to look for another choice.

If you ever want to talk my email is janet_7673 [at] 😉
Stark (2 stories) (52 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-20)
[at] RookDygin

Well, out of my 6 brothers and sisters I am the only one who was born with supernatural abilities and a very high intellect (I was actually supposed to graduate from school a year early but because of a racist prick that prestige was stolen from me) I once considered myself "human" but I was forced to walk the darkness of this world (by my family no less). In order for myself to leave with my sanity I had to get rid of those things that made people "human" i.e love, sympathy, compassion.

I'm more like a demon now. I've stolen the souls of my siblings and their children. I even sent the soul of the sibling that died to suffer eternal loneliness. Not even God can save them from the monster they created.

I went as far as having my memories erased on two separate occasions and I still ended up becoming like this.
Stark (2 stories) (52 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-20)
[at] bbdeathspark

I took the name from bleach yes but what's in bleach is different. The mod souls I speak of are different. They are souls that have been infused with my essence. They have the same mannerisms as me, they think and act like me and a couple of my test subjects even developed special abilities. Each also posses a single aspect of my personality. Everything that they are and ever will be revolves around that aspect.
RookDygin (5 stories) (324 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-20)

I've had days that run just like this... And there was a good 20 years of my life (20 years U.S. Navy Ret.) where it was just as predictable as what you are saying... But in one of your comments you say...

"I feared that is how normal humans are with each other. I guess its a good that I looked into the idea of creating what I like to call mod souls."

I'm not sure what to make of this statement... Are you saying you are not a 'normal human'? Please help me out here as I would like to understand 'where' you are coming from.


Shinigami0 (2 stories) (204 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-20)
Javelina- Here here! I say bring back the good stuff of the 60's (yes, you heard this from a 19 year old). They don't make musicians like they used to these days (well, seldom do you find a good one who doesn't sell their soul to the industry), and I think we could all do with more bands/ musicians as great as The Beatles, to name the most recognized. Too many wannabe pop stars singing about the same thing, sucking up to the music industry, making a buck from the masses' pocket book to get their 15 minutes.

Everything is recycled from things from earlier generations/ era. From fashion, to music, to art, to architecture- all from the past. They may have made modifications, but the fact remains that its not exactly 'new'.

I've also noticed earlier generations seem to get more stuff done. Lets not let that happen now. Get off the video games and take a look at the big, wide world around you, guys. Get involved.

Food for thought.

Au revior. 😊 ❤
Javelina (67 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-20)
You think it's bad now? Wait until you get to be my age pal! The same freaking, worn out conversations we were having back in the 60's and 70's? You guys are having now. Deal with it man, it's all recycled bull crap every other generation. You think any of what you do, feel or say is new? It's only new to you, we've already been there, done that, and our music still kicks a$$ over anything they churn out today. At least something good came out of that era.
Here's another been there, done that for you;
I hear so much garbage about how we screwed it up for your generation. The environment? PLEASE! Do you know that when I was your age there was a river in OHIO that was so polluted it caught on fire? A river caught fire, and they played hell trying to put that sucker out too.
When I would stand at my bus stop in the morning I could look down the street a total of three blocks. On a clear day. That was the pollution my generation was left with. We had to clean up that mess, and we did a pretty good job too.
Computers? The saving grace of my generation. It's made it possible for people all over the world to gather together and exchange ideas at the click of a mouse.
And the whole ball of wax is going to land on your heads guys. Then it will be up to you to keep the boat afloat.
So, what will your contribution be? How will you make life better on this planet for those that follow?
That's where your life's Karma is going to be affected the most. Don't blow it guys, don't be the generation that gave it all away out of apathy and neglect.
bbdeathspark (4 stories) (617 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-20)
Judging by his name I guess I'm most likely right -_-. Anyways unlike some people I let people have a chance to explain themselves.
bbdeathspark (4 stories) (617 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-20)
Mod souls came from Bleach, where a person would take a pill and he would be pushed out of his body and a soul inside it acts as a replacement. I wonder if that's what he means, lol.
j-torrez (3 stories) (53 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-19)
What is a mod soul, please elaborate. I am quiet curious to know what it is. 😊
mystical2 (16 stories) (483 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-19)
I have a problem where I need to learn patience. You already know what they are going to say but they are not talking fast enough to tell you what you already know. My husband says, "Okay I get it...yeah, yeah". More or less he knows I'm standing there going yada yada because I already know. I try not to finish his sentences for him, which I use to do all the time. I stopped when he explained nicely how he likes to finish his own questions and statements. Recently though, I've gotten cloudy because of my pain scale. I couldn't tell you how many times he would ask me if I could go get the "thingy" and off I would go. When his mother listened to how we communicated, she laughed asking him how I know what he's talking about. He told her, "trust me, she knows". Then coming back into the room handing him what he needed, she laughed again amazed. For me though, I seem to connect better with certain people in this area.
Stark (2 stories) (52 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-17)

I feared that is how normal humans are with each other. I guess its a good that I looked into the idea of creating what I like to call mod souls.
j-torrez (3 stories) (53 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-17)
I see what is happening to you as normal in fact you probably do it yourself sometimes and don't even notice it. Even though it can be annoying if people come back and tell you what you told them at least you know they were listening.

Yet if it happens to be that everyone tells you the same thing regardless of what you say then maybe it is because you don't wish to want to grasp what they are telling you.

In any case I think I might need to know a bit more info to be able to give you a better response.
xion (6 posts)
13 years ago (2011-03-17)
I've been having the same freaking's driving me crazy. If anybody tell you anything would you be so kind to tell me Please

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