Certainly a lot of people will ask this question. For many years I've felt this is a possibility for me. One thing that has always triggered the question of 'am I an Empath?' is that in every relationship I've ever been in, I always detect the feeling of when it's about to end. This usually occurs within a week before, I can sense that something in my partner is changing and I prepare to embrace the break-up. Break-ups are always hard for me no matter how long they last. I've always thought that a huge flaw in myself is that I've always put others wants and needs before mine. I always try to 'save' people that are in difficult situations. My last two girlfriends have had very rough lives and I was just drawn to them. I wanted to help them. My mother always tells me not to do this, I can't save everyone.
Since I was a child, which currently I am 24, I have never enjoyed being around a large amount of people. Often it can upset my friends and family because I don't like going out. Any time I'm caught in a crowd or I'm around too many people at once something inside of me changes. I can't focus on anything and I just want to get away from them. Often I get very angry being in crowds. Another thing that has bothered me since I was a child is when people argue. I avoid conflict at all costs and when an argument happens I am usually hiding in the bathroom or my room in total darkness crying.
I have never been able to watch any kind of movies with mass amounts of violence or gore. People always thought I was crazy when I would tell them I can't watch movies like that and see people getting hurt because it hurts me. Someone breaks a leg in the movie and it shows the bone broken in half triggers something within my own leg and it hurts. Even though it's obviously not real. I've never been able to watch any kind of medical shows with serious injuries for the same reason. Often I can watch a movie or TV show and find myself having the overwhelming urge to cry for no reason over small things.
I've never understood why people are generally, I guess, attracted to me. I've never had trouble with anyone in my life, there have only been 3 people I have never got along with. I get along with everyone I work with and they've always been really open with me. I work in a grocery store stocking shelves. This girl would often come to me out of nowhere and ask for me advice with her boyfriend. Tell me what was happening and how she should handle it. Other people I work with often come to me for help with relationship advice, randomly, even if I have never really spoken to them before. It's usually the younger girls in their teens battling with new relationships and experiencing them for the first time. The one girl in particular is in her late 20s.
I am not a fan of children because they can be loud and cry a lot. As much as I try to push children away from me, they've always tried to cling to me. My cousin is a perfect example. I remember one day I came home from school and I was walking with my sister and my other cousin, Rachael. She ran to her brother wanting to hold him but instead of going to her, he ran to me. She was a bit insulted, especially since she knew I don't generally like children. This has been the case with any child I've known. Animals are also like this. Anytime I go to a friend's house or visit a family member that have a pet their animals always attach themselves to me. Any time I come to the house the animals generally go wild and I'm always told that they usually only do that with me. Currently I am watching my ex's cat as she is going through a very traumatic time in her life. She was even surprised how fast he attached himself to me and it was within minutes. Certain things he does with me that he has only done with her.
When my friends come to me with problems, it's always very easy for me to help them. I feel myself drawing their feelings into me and I can feel how they feel. Sometimes it can be difficult to help them when I am feeling how they are feeling. When I can actually focus more on my own feelings I can easily give the desired advice. Most recently being my ex. What she is going through is killing me inside. I am not as distraught over the break up as I should be, more so I am more upset over how she has been feeling. Her life has not been easy, she lost her mother when she was 5. She always tries to make it seem like she is over it and often jokes about her mother being gone but when she does that I can feel her pain and sorrow. She was telling me things she had been doing shortly after our break-up and she was blown away when I could simply tell her, "I know". She would ask how I knew and I would just tell her "I can sense those things."
That's my story, it's been something I've been battling with since I was a child. My mother and my closest friends tell me not to let people run over me and use me as I do. I let people do this because they feel better, even though I am left with the thoughts and knowing I was used and run over, that person is happy and I seem to draw off their happiness and I forget my own feelings. I've always been the type of person that would rather live off of others feelings than my own, probably because I can't seem to locate my own feelings. Now I'm trying to find help and I'm wondering where to start. The only thing I can ask right now is am I an empath or am I just crazy or possibly confused?
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