First of all, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this. Any comments based on my experiences are greatly appreciated, as I still struggle to understand everything that has happened to me.
To give you a better understanding of myself and my experiences, I must first explain what I do know.
I am a 'sensitive'. I have been called this term many times, twice now by paranormal investigators. To me the term means nothing more than what I do know to be true of myself; the fact that I seem to be able to "pick up" things most others around me are unable to sense. To some people; being able to see, hear, smell things that most people can't; doesn't really seem like a big deal. Believe me when I say it is. And it is not always a good thing. I have never been able to drive at night because the extreme contrast between dark and light (i.e. Lights from other vehicles, street lamps, etc.) bother my eyes so much that I get severe headaches, my eyes water and I am unable to focus clearly on what my eyes see. The overwhelming scents of some things; such as certain foods and spices, perfumes, etc; literally make me sick. And when you are able to hear things that no one else seems able to hear, you start to question your sanity. It also makes you extremely paranoid. Not to mention the fact that people; my children in particular; get irritated very quickly when they realize they can't 'get away with' anything.
Being highly sensitive HAS at times been a major blessing though. 7 years ago my family and I lost everything in a house fire. Because I smelled 'something funny' that no one else could, I became paranoid and made my family go outside and get away from the house. Less than 5 minutes later our television exploded. Just feet from where my kids were sitting. I'm still thankful today I listened to my intuition about that funny smell.
I have also been called an 'empath' on numerous occasions. For a long time I did not know what that term meant, nor understand how that would affect my life. I really wish I would have taken the time earlier in my life to learn more about this particular 'ability'. I still don't know why or understand how, but I can sense the emotions of others. When I was a child I didn't understand what exactly it was that I sensed every time I was around other people. Or why my moods changed so quickly just by being around other people. It took hearing the term empath to pay more attention to what it was that was affecting my life so very much. You see, it's not just knowing how other people are feeling, what their emotions are at the time. It's more the fact that THEIR emotions can affect MINE. As I've gotten older and with much practice, I am now sometimes able to "emotionally disengage" myself from other people. Basically meaning most times I make the choice whether or not to associate with a person based on the current emotional vibes I get from them.
Now here is where there have been many instances where I am unsure if there is more to me than just being highly sensitive or an empath, if it's possible that these two things can be related as well to the spiritual realm.
When I was a child my sister and I both had an "imaginary friend". The same one! She claimed she could physically see him. I could not. Though I knew, even in my child like mind, there was most certainly some kind of being that would visit us and play with us that only her and I knew was there. Although I could not physically see this being, somehow I knew it was a male and a child. I could always sense when he would "come to play" with us. Like the entire 'feeling' of the room would change. I don't claim to have ever seen things unexplainably move, or anything like that. But I could somehow communicate with this being. I could ask it questions, and it was like I could 'feel' the answers in my head. If that makes sense. My sister claims she could physically see and hear our 'friend'. At first I doubted some of what she would say, thinking maybe she was just 'playing along' when I made comments about him. But the questions still remain. Was our 'imaginary friend' really just a figment of our imaginations, or was he something else? If he really was a figment of a child's mind, how is it possible that 2 people both 'saw' him, and knew so many details about him?
There was one day when my now ex-husband and I were looking to buy a new home. We had an appointment to meet the real-estate agent to view a home for sale. As soon as I got out of the car in the driveway, I was instantly overwhelmed with a really strong feeling that there was something very very bad about that house. I couldn't explain what I was feeling or why, it was just a very strong sense telling me to stay away. I started crying the feeling was so strong, and refused to even walk up to the house. A few weeks later our real-estate agent told us my reaction made her curious about the history of that house, and she found out there was a tragic death that occurred there.
Another 'incident' involving my sister has had us both very confused since it happened about 2 years ago. I still question whether or not I dreamt the entire thing. Even if I had, it does not explain her account of what happened to her the exact same night. I was laying in bed, and something had woken me up (or so I believed). I remember looking at the clock and wondering why I was awake. It was 3:12 am when I checked the time. Then I became extremely overwhelmed with a feeling that my sister needed me, that something was very wrong and I needed to be with her. As soon as I felt that 'need' to be beside her, I somehow was there. In her room in a different town. I know this sounds strange, and as I've said I question my sanity sometimes when I think about how this could be possible. Maybe I was dreaming the entire time, maybe something else happened. But how do you explain even hours later feeling like I'd been sleeping beside someone else the entire time, smelling them on MY bedding? When they were not there physically? This 'dream' had bothered me for days, but I didn't tell anyone about it. Then my sister called to tell me that something happened to her the exact same night that terrified her so much she hadn't slept barely since. She said that on that night at around 3am she woke up feeling like someone was standing over her watching her. That she became very cold, that the entire room did. She says she saw a shadow, and she watched that shadow move on top of the bed right above her. She told me when that happened, she felt pressure, like someone was pinning her down onto the bed not allowing her to move. When she was telling me this she started crying, saying that she knew I probably thought she was making it all up but it really did happen. Please understand, at that point I still hadn't told her about my 'dream'. She then told me she began to pray asking for an angel to protect her. She claims that after she started praying, it felt like something had crawled into her bed beside her. That the feeling of pressure on top of her was going away, the shadow disappeared, and the room got warm again. What mostly confuses us is how she can have an experience like that, and around the same time on the same night I can be in a different town and have the experience I did. What happened to us that night? How did I know that something was wrong with someone else who was miles away? Is it perhaps the fact that we are sisters?
There have been many other experiences in my life that, to me, are unexplainable. Most of them I just wrote off as nothing more than a feeling or intuition about someone or something. A sense of someone standing beside me whispering warnings in my ear, a really strong sense of emotions when no one else is around, 'hearing' answers in my head to unasked questions. What does all of this mean? Is it possible that having heightened senses just becomes too overwhelming at times, and I possibly am just imagining things as a result? If so, how does my sister and her claimed experiences fit into mine? Is it possible that I may actually be a medium or even psychic in some way? If so, would the fact that my 5 senses are stronger than many others' and I can sense the emotions of others play a role in that?
Again, I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my story. And I really would appreciate any insight on my experiences. It has been very stressful and confusing, trying to understand all that has happened. More so when much of society is closed minded to the paranormal, and think situations like this do not happen.