I'll try to condense the information as much as possible.
At my earliest age I was raised as a Christian. I was an average good little kid accept I would talk to people who weren't there. Specifically angels. I had one whom I talked to frequently that I said was my guardian angel. I can't remember the name. Later around age 5 my father worked 2-3 jobs and my stepmother was at home to raise 2 children who weren't hers, one of which was me and the other her daughter. My stepmother drank a lot and began to call me names, slap me and eventually began locking me in the closet for hours on end and waking me up in the middle of the night in a drunken rage to beat me. I would pray for my angel to help me every night but it never came. One night after the usual "routine" I went to sleep in tears and had a nightmare where I was running in the dark in a vast dead landscape with large shadowy figures with glowing eyes claws fangs and tails. Eventually I was surrounded and curled up in a ball to cry. All of the sudden an odd sensation swept over me and I stopped crying, or feeling anything and a raspy low, hissing voice spoke to me the first time "Kill them all." I began to grin and my eyes widened, I had another odd sensation flow over me as my fear to turned into, not as much rage so much as insane joy. I jumped onto the demons and clawed and yelled and bit my way through them. I remember what I thought was waking up directly after, hearing someone snickering and then seeing a very tall figure, so tall they had to bend over so as not to hit the ceiling, petting my hair on my head and then walking straight through my window on the second floor and vanishing. After that night my personality began to change and I became more assertive and confrontational. One night not long after this, I stopped the beatings. I was hiding under my bed crying, waiting, when I was dragged out from under my bed, getting rug burns on my arms, I was asked to hold out my already painful arms to have them hit with a belt. I cried, and then stopped crying and just shook and breathed fast, then I started to snicker, giggle and laugh as I was hit repeatedly. I grabbed the belt and choked her with it, she almost passed out, but then left the room in shock. I sat in my room cackling for about ten minutes until I broke into tears and then fell asleep. Ever since I have had a sort of split personality or a voice in my head, it doesn't force me to do anything but can take over as mentioned earlier. Later my mother would tell me I would talk like a demon and cackle in my sleep and one night she asked this version of me what I was laughing about and I said "I'm going to destroy everything."
After my life was less dramatic I stopped having these "phenomenon" occur, but recently I have seen and hear a lot of odd things that make it hard to be an atheist. Namely seeing words of light on a window "go seek the light" and hearing a voice in my head that says "you're not ready." I have only talked to this "friend" of mine a few times, and he doesn't like to talk. But when I asked why he was here with me he told me to look at my wrist and I noticed an odd tiny symbol/scar I hadn't noticed before in the shape of a crescent moon with a sort of oval next to it, kind of like a moon and a star, or a fancy A or G.
Don't really know what I'm asking of here, just if anyone knows any hardcore info on what's going on?
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