I never feel alone. With in myself yes, but as far as sitting on the couch watching TV, doing laundry, etc. I feel their presence. I feel an emotion to each one. I have nights where I can't sleep because I am being watched.
Now with that said. Every since I was a little I knew something was off. Because I could know the exact moment a sick family member had passed. I dreamed of things that were going to happen. For instance, my dad was going to buy a car, I dreamed that I was sitting in the back seat, kind of an out of body experience, and I watched the brakes not work and the car flipped over a bridge and decapitated my dad and mom. I woke up in a panic so bad that my dad took me to the car lot the next day and had the man check the brakes on the car he was going to buy. They were cut. The look on my dad's face was, I don't know how to explain it, he looked at me like he knew how I knew.
When my dad's ex wife died of cancer, he called me at 3 am and asked did I feel that. Of course I did, I was wide awake.
One night I sat up and saw an older couple. They smiled at me and said hello. Told me to tell my dad something (sorry it's too personal to enclose). He told me they were coming for him. I didn't understand what he meant. Until he was diagnosed with lung cancer. Then I realized they were telling me that he would be safe and OK with the people he loved in the after life. If there is an after life. I'm not religious. I am not anti-religious either. It's just hard to believe and understand some things, especially when so many people have so many opinions about things. Any ways, my dad and I never talked about "it". Whatever it was that we shared. The knowing of things before they happened? The seeing of "dead" people?
My dad knew when he was going to die. He knew the exact moment. He kept telling me to go get something to eat, go do something. I felt that he was being pushy but I didn't feel anything out of the normal. I didn't feel like something was wrong or going to happen. That is what threw me off. Not even fifteen minutes after I left, I got a phone call. I knew he had passed. I felt so many emotions. I was sad but I also felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted off of my shoulders. I think that weight was his pain. Every time he felt pain, I felt it. Even living an hour away, I felt his every hurt. I felt weak after he had a chemo treatment. I think that weight that I had felt lift, was his pain going away. He was relaxed. He wasn't hurting or having to fight anymore. A lot of people at the funeral mentioned that I didn't cry. Well no, I did not. He was still sitting beside me. For the longest I thought I was crazy. Then I realized that hey, I still had my dad. We would talk like he was still alive. He would give me advice. I could feel his presence, and on a good day, I could see him. On days I really needed it, I could feel him hug me. Then I married my husband and on the night we left to move into our new home together, my dad looked at me and said, you are going to be ok, I love you, good bye baby. It was that moment that I realized that he wouldn't have ever rested if I wouldn't have been OK. He was always about making sure I was OK. He was making sure I was always taken care of. After he said good bye I haven't heard or seen him since.
Now the thing is, is I see my husband's grandfather. He and him were very close. I told my husband about all of this, and he just smiles, understanding, asks a few questions, like what's he doing, where's he at, is he OK, and so on. But he seems to think that he is only around for my mother in law. I only feel him and see him when we are over at her house. Or anywhere that I am around her. How do I help him so he can rest? I can't just out and say it. I mean I see people on tv all the time, psychics using reverse psychology to get answers then turning it around into some dramatic scene of I see your loved one and they said this blah blah bull crap. Even I think to myself, REALLY? What a fake. Because... He isn't the only one. I live on an Army base and I see deceased soldiers. I want to help them. I am not scared of them. It does not bother me. Except, I want to help them. I want them to find peace and rest. So what do I so?
Before I figure out what to do, I need an answer for what I am. To add to all of this, I can read peoples emotions to the point they can change my mood if they are strong enough. I can be happy and someone be around me that is mad, and I get ill and irritated for no reason. And before any of the smart-ellics decide to use humor, yes I am a female, and NO it is not PMS. Thank you. (I don't even remotely think it is funny or a joke- this is my life, and it's real, it's not biological). I can be upset, and I am around someone who is happy and I become hyper happy. I can be around someone who cut themselves by accident or breaks a bone and I feel that hurt for them. I can tell a woman when she is pregnant before she ever even knows. And I sense evil in people. I can read them. For instance, a man came to work on our satellite not too long ago. As soon as this man walked through the door, I knew there was something wrong with him. I felt as if he was evil. This man started talking to me, and the more he talked the more I figured out he had been in prison for aggravated assault. My first thought was that my satellite company was going to get a good talking to. My first reaction was to tell this man that my home is protected by a military husband, a gun, and a wife with PMS, now guess which two are home today. Needless to say he got done and got out of my house real fast.
My husband, thank goodness he is so understanding, but he also likes to poke fun. He will ask me what I am feeling and who this person is, and aggravated the mess out of me. But he knows I can help him when he really needs to know about a person. What I need to know is what I am. What am I?
(Sorry this was so long, I just need answers)