I have experienced what I consider to be the strangest feeling I've ever felt this past week. It has been difficult and stressful and I finally have had enough. I have had clairvoyant premonitions, telepathic communication, and signs of an empathy, but nothing has ever been as strong as this.
After I heard about the Boston marathon bombings, my heart squeezed and pulled with anxiety and stress. However, this wasn't for the victims. Of course, they had my sympathy, but this feeling was much more powerful. At the time, I had no idea where it came from.
This continued for a few days whenever I saw news coverage of the incident, so I avoided the television and Internet. Then, on Friday, my mother and her fiance were discussing the events and how one suspect was killed by police.
"Those kinds of people don't last. The other one's probably dead already. Suicide," my mom's fiance said. His words felt like a slap in the face. I knew the other suspect was still alive. This happened during the man hunt on Friday. I still felt worried and frustrated, hoping that the younger of the two suspects was going to live. I couldn't say why, but I felt awful hoping a killer was not going to die. When I found out the police had indeed caught the bomber, I felt a cool wave of relief and my chest relax after days of worry. Then, after being glued to the news I discovered he was in serious condition. That night, I was restless, moving in and out of consciousness, seeing the suspect (in my dreams) lying in a hospital bed, lifeless. In the morning my first thought was whether he was still alive or not. I figured I was being ridiculous and that I'd get over it, but it only became worse from there. Every thought now revolves around the bombing and anything can be a trigger to these thoughts. I heard the FBI or someone was seeking the death penalty earlier today, which turned me into an inconsolable mess. Nobody was around, so I was able to sob freely. I can't count the times I've cried or gone blank due to Boston this week. I get even worse when I see people calling for his torture online. I feel as if they were to acquire the death penalty, then I would die as well. I would do anything to save this troubled soul, even die in his place.
I have never felt this strongly about anyone and it bothers me that this is the individual I am so upset by. I don't even know this young man, yet I'm willing to do anything to protect him. I feel a connection to him, something paranormal. There is nothing normal about it, and I can almost tell that there is someone putting faith in me. But, at the same time, this is a criminal. How can I feel such sympathy and pain for someone like that? I've had a constant, steady stream of tears almost all day. Have I lost my mind or is there some explanation for this?
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