It has been a while since I've been on here, almost too long. My school life is ending, and within the timespan of this story and the previous, I've grown a lot, spiritually, mentally, physically. Some things i'm hoping to gain answers, some I know there aren't answers for them. It turns out i'm not the only one in my family somewhat spiritual. To my surprise, it's on my Mom's side, from my grandparents. A bit of relief, since I thought I was the black sheep in the room, but despite the short conversation i'm a bit more understanding of this whole thing. Remember back in one of my first stories with the girl in the woods? (Should be one of the first two*) My mom has recently theorized that because I was picking up sticks in the woods, a snake might have been nearby and she/it was protecting me. (Snakes have a majpr symbolism in this family for change, so I believe it was a double meaning.) Anyway, whenever the conversation about this started, I asked about if anyone in the family was really spiritual or where I could have gotten my spiritual side from, my mom sort of muttered it as a "Gift/Curse". Is this linked with the whole "Silver and shadow guardian and phoenix" thing? I thought I figured out what it meant but now i'm even more confused. (Don't know if its relevant but apparently someone in my family was in Salem. Weird.)
I've also seen a lot of stories on here of darkness reaching kids or teens, basically younger people. Specifically ones of interest right now are red-eyes. I don't know if I mentioned this before but one time back at the previous place (I moved about a year ago, much happier now spiritually and socially,) I saw either two somewhat distant brake lights in the woods, that stared at me for a while before I went inside. I did everything I could to try and make my brain not see the red dots: Blinked, shook my head, walked with the dog (now passed) in circles... I never saw those brake lights again. It makes me wonder if they had any connection to what has happened to me in my life.
With all of my growth lately, I have begun to question what parts of everything that happened were truly my doing, and what parts were the...things...hurting me and using me throughout my life. Up until recently I had a million different "things" in my head, telling me what to do and keeping me up at night with my mistakes and errors. Finally, I decided to stop putting up with it and faced some issues I had personally, and slowly but surely they left me alone / are leaving me alone... What are/were they? Is all this just because I had dark times when I was small? What am I? Are my mental scars and spiritual scars by chance or my own doing? How will things progress when i'm out of the house? Is there anyone who has been through what I have and has answers?
Any Feedback is appreciated, I hope with this someone'll help tie up all these loose ends. If not, then I guess I have a lot to fix on my own. (Bit of a disclaimer, i'm not religious at all. However, I respect others' ideas nonetheless, so feel free to say anything whether it relates to God or Jesus Christ or not.)
(*If you're super confused on what i'm going on about in parts of this story, feel free to look at or skim my other publications on here to get an idea. Also remember that I've had this account for a few years, so I don't necessarily think the same way. Thank you)