As I progress in my understanding of my experiences, I have to ask, can I "make" people feel bad - or worse? "Bad" as in; extremely guilty, or anxious to the point that I think I would physically - or now psychically - hurt them. Bad to the point that people have told me I "make" them ill, and even want to hurt themselves?! Two psychic peers went as far as to ask if I was psychically - attacking them in the past week!
I am beyond sensitive to what people say to me, I feel sick in any sort of quibble, conflict, or escalation. Admittedly, I can do what I use to call "cutting someone to psychological ribbons". I'm not proud of it, but I'm trying to be brutally honest with myself, and have this ability to "make" others feel good, bad or otherwise validated. I will say what I know will "crush" someone in my desperation to escape feeling threatened, or emotionally destroyed. Since I've accepted I'm psychic, felt the change within me, I really try to stay calm, because when I get angry it's exhausting, I beg people to stop because of how ill and drained conflict makes me. Now I'm finding others - especially other Empaths - insisting that I am "making them" feel a certain way - up to and including "terrible", "guilty", "anxious", "physically ill" and I don't want to accept that I can do such things.
Intuitively, I think I'm shielding myself from what I know is toxic to me, and in doing so reflecting, amplifying, superimposing, influencing other's "self" feelings? Looking back now, this seems to be a pattern for me, and since I would run away before fight, or walk 100 miles out of my way to avoid verbal conflict it has to be a defense mechanism. I have the ability to "make" people; feel good, safe, understood, special, and so on; but it seems this ability goes the other way too.
Can anyone else relate to this, or offer me their educated insight? I could really use reassurance that it's just me protecting myself! The thought of hurting someone else - even accidentally - is a terrible one. I'm 32, and I feel I have suffered greatly because I feel so alien. I became jaded and angry at the world, and most everyone in it. I've become a much happier person since accepting I'm psychic - 3 weeks ago - , not mentally ill, and I promised to only do good, but I can seem to cause more damage now too, and I do not like it! All I've ever wanted was to help others, and understand myself - in that order. - XtjrX.