Since I was young I've been inevitably drawn towards the paranormal. I spoke to what I now see as spirits from a young age. I was never able to fully 'see' them, but I could sense where they were. The spirits I would see were never strangers to me, they might have been for the first days where we would communicate but after the first few days they would be like family. I became closer to the spirits than to my friends in full reality. I remember being introduced to many different spirits and some would be friends from 'the other world' or spirits that claimed to be my parents or my siblings from the other world. The ones who were not in my family I usually referred to as 'angels' or 'spirit guides' nowadays. I would hear their story of how they died, and then I would ask why they came to me.
One woman I remember had mentioned she was waiting for her son, that she had died and was waiting for her 'little boy to join her.' I communicated with her for a few months until eventually she'd told me that her son was finally coming 'home' to where she was and that she needed to be there when he came, and since then I haven't heard from her.
One other was a man who said he'd died and was searching for his wife. He'd mentioned a name and his name and told me I needed to find her. Me being clueless could only look through newspaper articles online looking for the first name of the man in the obituaries for the past week. Where am I supposed to look if a spirit comes to me asking me to find his wife? How do you get more information?
In the present year I've had less communication with with 'spirit guides' and spirits. Most of my paranormal experiences involved random visions of the same woman. I always feel as if I was her in a past life and now my present life is engulfed with trying to decode these random visions of mine. One I saw her as an adolescent at a dinner party speaking french, but in that same vision the young girl she'd been strangled and I'd seen her fall out of her body and become a spirit of sorts. But then I'd seen her in another vision where she was dressing for a date she had. And the most recent time she was walking through a cemetery looking for a gravestone and eventually sits down putting flowers on the gravestone and kissing it with her hand. My intuition is telling me the woman was visiting her husband 'James' gravestone, that he had died fighting in a war. But piecing together the most recent visions confuses the first ones I'd had of her dying.
The visions are all I can think about anymore. It completely takes over my present life, and while often it intrigues me and I allow it continue, I'm losing touch of parts of my daily life. Often its hard to tell who's life I'm living, if its hers or mine, if she's me, or if I'm her. And now my daily quest is finding James, 'my past life husband', and every time I hear or see the name James I'm overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety at the possibility its him. I don't know how to control the visions, or the possibilities surrounding 'my past life'.
I can't seem to balance 'real life' with the paranormal/psychic part of life I live with. How do you disconnect or balance out being psychic with living a normal life?