In order to really understand my odd story we have to go back, way back, about to the time of my childhood. I have always seen "the monster under the bed" or "the thing right behind me", and my parents were very quick to dismiss them as "childhood delusions" and would set me straight. So as I grew older I delved into science, and embraced it with the same fervor one would save for a soul mate. This continued unopposed until the time when I was about 16 (give or take).
When I was 16 the first real experience I had involved me in a Barnes & Noble book store, reading the book "dark heresy" (its an rpg). I was reading it and eventually came to the conclusion that it would have a good home in my book shelf. So, seeing how I did not have the money on me I resolved to come back the next day to buy it properly. When I returned and asked for it, they said that it did not exist, like at all. When they looked it up in more detail they said that it was not due out for another three months, they didn't even have "pre release" copies out yet. Frustrated because I did hold the book, and remembered large swathes of its content, I pre ordered it and went directly to two different game stores. What I found there was more of the same, does not exist and out in three months. Well flash forward three months and I receive my book, only to find out that I was correct. All the information I remembered (and I remembered a LOT) was 99% correct. So when I read a book that just came out, I knew almost all of the information contained within.
Starting from there, I seemed to develop "knacks" for activities I have not ever had the chance to do, let alone practice. This would range from knowing information in books I have never seen before, to picking up an arc welder and welding like a pro.
On the year when I turned 17 I had heart surgery in December, where they took out a large chunk of my heart, and replaced it with a graft from an animal. After the surgery I was always seeing things flitting and floating around my room and the hospital. My mom suggested that it was the pain medication, but I was not on any. Truth be told I only used pain medication immediately after surgery, and that was three times in two days. The rest of the two weeks I was in the hospital I was on no mentally altering drugs, yet I still saw things. I was later informed that I had died on the operating table for a few seconds, with no apparent ill effects.
Two months later in February I had a MASSIVE anxiety attack, to the point where my heart stopped for about 2 seconds and I collapsed. I know my heart stopped because when I collapsed the only thing I could hear was my heart beating, and I heard it stop for a short period of time before starting back up again. I got back up, and asked to leave work in light of this new medical incident, so I went to the hospital and they saw that my body was literally DISOLVING my new grafts. It just so happened that the team who did my first heart surgery was in the ICU at the time, and the next day I was back on the operating table. Because they had to replace a graft with something mechanical, they had to stop my heart for about 4 seconds, so for the third time in 4 months I was dead. The figures I saw floating were the same ones, as I was next to the room I was in previously. Once again my mom dismissed it as pain medication, but this time I was not on ANY.
I saw the figures off and on until the point when I was 18, where the paranormal started in earnest. I was working as a security guard when I saw a spirit that looked kind of "Jack Skellington" of Nightmare before Christmas fame. He was just hanging out there like I was the one intruding on his property. He made multiple appearances over the next few weeks, getting closer and closer until I saw him riding shotgun in my car. I eventually came to accept him as a companion and talked to him and such. It was revealed later that he is a sort of guardian spirit, not a guardian angel but a spirit who is protective of me anyway. I have come to calling him Jack due to his appearance, and to be a bit more respectful when talking to him. He has not responded as of yet, but I get a feeling he is try to. But I can't hear it.
Thats when I went in to see an old friend of the family, a legitimate psychic. After a two hour long interview he proclaimed "that I was one of the most spiritually sensitive people he has ever met". So I went to another one at his urging, and the second one said the same thing, that I was very sensitive to this sort of thing.
A week later I had just got off a long shift and had left my book in the company car back at the site, which is about a good 2 hour drive away. I fell asleep quickly, dreaming for the first time in weeks and saw myself back in the car, where I found my book. I reached for the book and found myself back in my room. I put the book on the edge of my bed and fell back asleep in the dream. When I woke up the book was right where I put it in the dream, right next to me.
Ever since that incident I have been experiencing more and more of the same kinds of things. What happens most commonly is that I will end up using my laptop while sleeping. My laptop is generally all the way across the room or on a lower floor, in a tangle of power cords that I wouldn't want to unplug even if I was awake, let alone sleeping. What ends up happening is I end up "waking up" in my bed with the laptop on my lap. I will absent mindedly search for various information, going on Wikipedia about various subjects and learning. What breaks the dream, is when I realize I can put my hand through the laptop totally, like I was a ghost. I will realize this and stop, falling asleep in earnest. When I wake up in the morning (the real one, not a dream) I will remember everything that I learned the night previous, yet the laptop has not been disturbed in the slightest.
I have been seeing more and more ghosts as of recent, and not all of them are human shaped to put it bluntly. Their corpus (bodies, or spiritual equivalent) are black as pitch and have faded edges, Like they were made of watercolor paint. Even if they are faded, the edges will be sharp and pointed, as if covered in spikes or ruffed fur. What I also have been seeing these days are what I end up calling "men in hoods". They are wearing "sith" style hooded cloaks, deep hood, flowing robe and such. The robes are black, as is their corpus however its two totally different shades. They just seem solemn and waiting, not making aggressive movements or anything, just waiting.
Well that's my story and I thank you for taking the time to read this novel of a post. I would appreciate any ideas on what to do or even support saying that I'm not a lunatic.
It's not easy to understand things that come to you that no one else in your life ever taught you or even mentioned. I let my spirit guides lead the way towards my better understanding. I've also done a lot of research in all sorts of areas.
I really appreciate that you shared your experiences. It's reassuring to me that there are others like us,
That we aren't just crazy and that we might actually have a gift.
I don't have any relatives who have experiences like mine. Only a few cousins even think spiritually and they aren't quite where I'm at... Makes discussions with them a little difficult. I'm always seeking to learn more and they are content where they are at. I'm ok with their contentment. It works for them.
I wanted to add, if it's a good thing, you want to learn as much about it as you can. I don't agree with psychiatrists who think everyone needs to integrate everything they become aware of. Some things refuse to give up their individuality and it's wrong for us to expect that from them.
Anything we perceive is a part of us, like the earth is part of the universe. These entities or guides or whatever you want to call them, make themselves known to us for a reason. It's nice when they let us know why they are here with us. Sometimes you know right away and other times you have to do a lot of work before they even give you a clue.
I like what Walkdre was saying about keeping them or letting them go. It's your choice. Pick your entities the same way you would a friend. You can even test them to determine if they have your best interest in essence. Either way, deep down you'll know and there are methods for making them feel like talking to you as well as methods for shewing them away.
Fascinating post... I look forward to reading more from you and Walkdre.