I have practicing some techniques that I have researched about to help improve my natural abilities and to become one with my true self. Lately, I have seemed to be hitting some difficult walls that have halted me from going any further. Before, starting this journey, I have been suffering for many years of depression. Meditation and positive thoughts have benefitted me to have long stretches of good days but lately, I find it difficult to find the energy to do anything that I need to. My school work is suffering as well as my relationship with my two sons, and husband. The intimate side of our relationship is almost non-existent. I get frustrated and snappy with my husband as well as my children. On days, I can't seem to find the energy to get out of bed and to fight back tears.
I am desperate to find relief of this and for not only my sake but for my family. I want us all to be happy and not have them walk on egg shells and ask one another "Why is Mom sad again?" I think it's partly due to the fact that I have built up anger and resentment towards certain people but I don't know how to release it. I have thought about talking to them but I know that it will cause more harm than good (some have VERY defensive personalities) or that I might hurt them by what I am saying.
I think that I am an Empath. But, I can't seem to distinguish if thoughts or feelings are my own. I also can't distinguish between my Ego and my Spirit Self and it is very frustrating. The feeling of being lost is still there and I just want to know something for sure about myself. I can't seem to find the answers. I have thought about a getting an Energy Healing done but it is very expensive and I am unsure if it will help me any.
I have had some experiences lately that I have found really interesting. About a week ago, I was taking a shower; as I reached down to grab something from the tub, I saw 3 or 4 bright tiny orbs flying around about 10 inches away from the chest. I rubbed my eyes and blinked many times but they were still there. I have been told that those lights could be fairies. Also, I don't know if I have telepathy or not but a lot of times, my husband and I have very similar thoughts at the same time. It could be that we are thinking that the same thing or even picturing something in our heads.
I look forward to any insight or advice that anyone may have. Techniques, crystals, or even just someone to talk to, any information about anything is welcomed and appreciated.