I am new to this site... I am 19 years old... And I am wondering whether or not I am an empath or have some sort of psychic ability or am I just an angry misfit who needs therapy? I ask because it is wearing me out to the point of exhaustion. I get angry and depressed a lot of the times... No I am not trying to be a psychic I am actually not happy with whatever it is I am since it is something that I can't really control and the only way that I can be myself is when I am just with one person or alone. So please don't leave negative comments because this is just me trying to find myself.
Ok here goes. There is this one girl I know at work that everytime I am in a room with her I get so uncomfortable to the point I get nervous and nauseous. I can't stand being around her at all nor look at her. I get such a negative energy from her. I get depressed just looking at her. I know that sounds mean and I feel bad but that is how I feel.
I found out that she has a lot of problems that she goes though daily. And it affects her daily life. I have a friend who has a lot of stress that she goes through with her life and I sense it in her but she denies it and doesn't want any kind of help from me. I get extremely uncomfortable in large crowds and nervous as well. And when I see someone I can tell what kind of person they are and whether or not they are happy by the way they look at me and how they talk within speaking to them for only 5 minutes.
I can see auras if I tried. It is an effort but I can sense the energy that it gives off which describes what kind of person they are. And they have to be in a certain place. Now I am not implying that I am at all psychic I am just curious. But a friend of mine who is psychic told me that people who have cold hands and feet tend to have some sort of psychic abilities... And my hands and feet have always been cold since I was little. I don't necessarily believe that hence the fact that I believe I just have poor circulation. One thing is for sure is that I do get moody for no reason and honestly I cry myself dry. Whenever I watch or see something sad on the news, sometimes for days maybe and that is partly the reason why I don't like watching the news. Another thing is I have people I just meet come in and talk to me like I've known them for years sometimes. And honestly I am in denial. I do put myself down a lot. And I do try to focus on myself more because I have a tendency to help people in need because it is in my nature. I do deny it. I don't know what I am.
People have told me I was weird or different. There have been times in which I have had de ja vu occur more than once. I used to be able to remember my dreams vividly when I was little girl but as I got older I tend to forget them. Except some certain times. In my dreams I have been conscious and was able to control myself in them. But I do get de ja vu a lot. And I am so sensitive whenever I am around people. Also I get a different array of emotions whenever I go to different places and meet different people. And there has been some instances when people do tell me they feel calm and happy when they are with me. I also have a natural love for nature and animals. Always loved them since I was little.
I would always skip school because I would get overwhelmed with the stress and anxiety that people give off from school. I used to smoke and drink a lot just so I could get by. Honestly, I don't know. For some reason over the years I have learned to be less conscious of everything around me because I block everything out. At least I try but sometimes it doesn't work. My father always tells me that whenever I am around people I always get depressed and he always tell me that it isn't me who is the problem its people and I think I am beginning to believe him somewhat.
Please help me. I don't know what to do because it seems the more I talk about it the less people understand. I know I sound like a crazy emotional little nutjob who needs therapy. And believe me I have tried therapy, been medicated, went to a mental institute which really made me a lot worse than it should and none of it worked for me. And it seems that the problem isn't me.
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Next time you meditate, visualize yourself surrounded by in a cacoon of bright light. Say to yourself that this shield will be with you always, and it will counteract negative emotions.
Feeling emotions is not a negative thing, it can heal if put into good use.
I am clairsencient, so I can sence things, With my psychic shield up, I Can sence things, good and bad, but not be consumed by the negative. Try it.
I hope this helps.