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God Dreams, Hyper Lucidity, And A Weird Few Years Part 1


All my friends think I'm weird. If everybody in my family were apples I'd be a blueberry. No one can tell why I'm so strange, and neither can I. So, I just go with the flow. I think I've needed an outlet for this because honestly I'm not on a basic level of weirdness, (I wish I were sometimes) but the only thing I really have trouble with is WHY I'm this way. I don't try to be different. There are those people who want to stand out so much that they go out of their way to have everybody looking at them. I try my hardest to blend in, and I do a pretty good job of it, but lately I've felt so out of it. Something inside of me is screaming to get out. I know it's my soul. It's constantly talking, through feelings, words, and signs. I KNOW I'm different, but it's that kind of different that alienates me from even other weird people when I'm truly myself, and I've been suppressing a majority of who I am for so long I'm not entirely sure how to undo it. I really don't like talking about myself, but I feel I need help now, and I enjoy this little community of awesome psychics.

I'm thankful for everyone who reads this. Maybe you know somebody like me. Maybe you are somebody like me. Gosh this is going to be a little lengthy... Well first of all I get uncomfortable talking about myself or thinking about everything that I am because deep down inside I know I have this crazy strong power, and I know that everybody has it. I'm a late bloomer psychically, but when I want to I have a very strong grip on my abilities. I started my spiritual search just a few years ago when I was 15. I've had plenty of traumatic experiences throughout my life, but I hit my head skateboarding the summer after my freshmen year in '09. This was much different. See I've had random moments in the last few years where I literally get seized by an extremely intelligent and powerful force. That force caught me by surprise while I was skating that day and launched me headfirst into a bowl (like a pool for skateboarding) off of a 6 foot high ledge. The same force threw my arm out close to the last moment and probably saved me from dying. My arm took most of the impact. I hit my head in the temple area and had a knot literally the size of a golf ball. It seemed to me that I blacked out for an extended amount of time, but the people that were there said I started moving about a minute after I landed. I don't know what happened in the darkness, but I felt different when I opened my eyes. I didn't feel like me anymore. I'm going to skip the rest because it's not relevant.

At the end of the next school year in '10 I had an amazing epiphany which came to me out of nowhere. It was "it began as one and split." It was just a whisper in my mind while I was daydreaming, something I never would have thought of on my own. I sat and let my mind open up to the phrase as pictures and other thoughts surrounded it, showing me how vast a concept it was. I went to school the next day brighter than I had been in a while. My friends laughed at me as I whispered the phrase to them. I didn't want anybody outside of my circle knowing about the phrase until I had crafted it into something worthwhile. At the beginning of next school year around August I decided to become Buddhist. I had strange urges to read spiritual material and self-help books middle-aged adults would read. I felt like I needed to grow up fast, like the world needed me to. I didn't actually start looking into psychic phenomena or energy work until after my soul had directed me to all the literature and experiences I needed to create a proper foundation for understanding the fundamentals of reality and how to apply it to human nature. Human nature is the same as the nature of the universe.

I spent the second half of '10 as a junior, and for the most part just reading and doing my best to understand what I was reading. I completely let go of putting energy into social interaction and school, finding a greater love for wisdom and deep understanding. I felt that what most people were focused on were petty and trivial things that brought no real meaning to life. During that time I researched every single subject my soul brought to me and brought me to with a great passion. Everything I was reading felt like a refresher, but if I had read any of it before my accident I know I wouldn't have been properly equipped to understand it. I also wrote a lot of poetry, which also came to me spontaneously and still does. I even learned to think without hearing my thoughts before hand. I established a way of quick reading the feeling of the thought that was about to come, so I knew what I was going to say without hearing the words in my mind. I had a lot of weird thoughts during this time, many I still haven't come to terms with. I wanted a master so I'd be able to understand everything clearly and move on to help other people. There was no one available, and I felt like the oldest person around me. My soul told me to become the master I desired. My soul would whisper to me all the time during the last few years. It'd tell me the best moves to make, when I was in danger, what other people were feeling and how to help them. I had visions where my soul would show me faces of people I knew, or where I would see a face of someone and I would be told it was who I was in a past life. One of the people my soul said I was I still have a conflict about because it was somebody famous. Out of nowhere I also became sort of a guru in my group of friends. I use the word guru because it is what they called me. Understanding wasn't something I had to look for anymore. It was just a part of my being.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, nyxmystery9, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

nyxmystery9 (6 stories) (30 posts)
9 years ago (2013-02-15)
Thank you! I'm working on being a writer professionally. It's great to have people around you who support it and can identify even a little bit. Luckily I can talk to one of my bestfriends about this stuff.

What's weird is that after I wrote all the parts to this story I understood exactly what I needed to do to let my soul out. For this whole time I've been searching I never have long periods of blockages. One day I'll be perfectly fine and content, and the next I'll feel like crap and know there's something new I have to figure out.

I'm so glad you can relate 😁 Even talking with my bestfriend doesn't help all the time because he isn't as tuned in as I am. I spend waaaayyyy more time outside connecting with things, and all the people around me are stuck in a fog. What can be really frustrating is I always know what other people need to do for themselves. I can see it right off the back, but for me everything's more of a mystery. And when I try to help people I think they like being in the fog more than coming out of it, so my suggestions just get thrown away.

Most of the time I'll only help specific people who come along now because it seems that they come to me when they're ready to accept my help. I always get "You said exactly what I needed to hear" from people after I help them. I don't know. I just kind of know things. I let go of that part of me that wanted to be right all the time, and now I just know without trying to, EXCEPT when it comes to me. Go figure. It's probably because of the limiting beliefs I still hold. I'm steadily working on them though.

About my soul age: Early on when I first started reading all the spiritual material I'd meditate a lot and I use to have flash visions of scenery and strong feelings would accompany them, so for instance I saw the face of Ernest Hemingway (gahh I really don't like mentioning this) before I knew who he was or had ever seen anything of him. I opened my eyes from the vision and it was like I had been struck by lightning. My mind was blaring, and I had a very distinct feeling that I was him. I've also had visions of an island, and I've had the feeling that it was very long ago. My visual memories before this life are really foggy, but I've been given some information in my poetry since I can write without thinking. I have a friend who sees a tree when she visualizes her special place.

My whole soul yearning has been to
#1. Find the group I was with back some hundred thousand years ago. (I know it sounds weird)
#2. Create a community of enlightened beings in a place over a significant energy center of the earth
#3. Save as many people as I can? (This one weirds me out)
When I used to go outside more back in 2010 I'd get feelings like large shifts were happening. The energy of the planet has changed a lot since then, and especially since the winter solstice of 2012. Something weirdly awesome is going on.

The epiphany I had relates to both the soul and the universe. "It began as one and split." That's how we start out in the womb, as a single cell, and it keeps dividing. Essentially everything is One, but to be able to experience Oneness you have to have One simulate splitting into its two characteristics, which break down further. Hot and cold. Black and white. Etc.

I'd like to hear more about your experiences if you don't mind. You said you can control the weather too! I think that's really cool. I can show you how to open up your power. It's a magnificent thing. It takes some serious dedication and focus though. I've been wondering how long it'd take before I met others like me. I can tell you're really conscious. I can feel the attention you put into your comment. If you'd like you can email me. Just click on my username and you'll see it.
Ellie567 (1 stories) (6 posts)
9 years ago (2013-02-14)
Firstly I just want to say wow. Like seriously, you have a real way with words and forming a story/describing an experience 😊 Secondly I just want to say, I don't know how many other people out there feel this way and have these experiences but it's great to read about someone who's had similar ones to me!

I'm lucky enough to have a family that accepts/has psychic abilities and such but unfortunatly they don't really feel the same way I do. You mention that 'Something inside of me is screaming to get out. I know it's my soul' I cannot tell you how glad I am to hear someone else say this! I actually thought I was going crazy at one point and ended up feeling pretty depressed because everyone was so diffrent from me and no one understood. I get what you mean when you say you don't know how to undo it, I've been feeling like my soul has been trying to get my attention for awhile now, it almost feels like it aches or is screaming inside yet I still have no idea how to unlock it and let loose what wants to be free because I've restrained it for all these years.

I wonder, do you ever feel old or have dreams that explain how old your soul actually is?
I'm asking this because the first dream where I met my guides also showed a huge line of people that I'd supposedly met during previous lives, it went back thousands of years. I don't know if it was my imagination or what but then I had a dream about going to a astral 'soul tree park' to see my soul tree and when I found it, it was huge. Much bigger than the trees around it, and I couldn't see the top of it. It was then explained to me in my dream that not many people had a tree like mine but the ones who did were very old souls. Guess this explains why people say I act old before my time or as my great grandmother used to say 'so yound yet so ancient'

I totally get what you mean by the power that seems to lay dormant. I guess the problem is finding the keys to unlock it so that you can then help others unlock that power too. But if youve been disconnected and restraining those 'key' parts of yourself for so long how are we ment to unlock them?

I've never had an epiphany, the one you had sounds very special. Does it relate to the soul, universe or something else?

I did pretty much the same thing as you after I started to really take note of my feelings and experiences that have taken place throughout my life. I became more aware of things and began reading spiritual books and using the knowlage from them aswell as the knowlage my family possesess.

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