The whole past life thing was even around when I was a little girl, I demanded that I go to Italy, I wanted to marry an Italian, I loved the culture. I've had reoccurring visions, dreams and deja vu from my past life or what I believe it is.
I was born in the 1400's and died at the age of 27. I've had visions of roaming the streets of Venice, Italy. My visions have become more vivid and disturbing to the point where I feel like my past life is still a part of me. I wanted to kill a man, he was very famous and was named Cesare. I do remember that I had went to Spain to kill him, travelling through Italy, through France and then Spain. I did succeed in killing him on March 12th 1407, I remember this in extreme vivid detail. Sometimes my visions would be first person, where I felt prisoner in a body that I couldn't control, other times it was 3rd person point of view. I seduced men into getting what I wanted, I was very beautiful, I know I killed others too but the guy named Cesare was the grand prize. I rebelled against him, and I went against my families wishes of becoming tamed and marrying a wealthy man. I refused that.
I was a killer, I know what I did was bad but it was exhilarating, it gave me a thrill. I have lived other past lives but this one... This is the one that I miss the most.
I decided to see another psychic, this would be my first time meeting her, she is my friends wife. The moment I saw her, it was a slap to the face, and I had deja vu. I remember seeing her in the streets of France, she was a poorer girl and I had become friends with her. She told me that what I was doing would cost me my life but I didn't listen and it ended in a fight where I saw her disappearing into the crowded streets full of merchants and other citizens.
Now a week after I killed this Cesare man, I was caught by his brother and killed. This man's name was John and was a King. The psychic friend said she recognized me too, she remembered my eyes which I find is really weird. And we talked about the experience for a long time as if we were talking about old times.
I was looking at pictures of Italy and burst into tears the other day, I wanted to go back, I know this sounds ridiculous and over dramatic but I wanted go back quote "home." I feel like it's really getting to me, I get upset, I cry sometimes. I don't understand, I want to put my past life in the past but another part of me clings to it.
Please help me! I don't know what to do? I'm only 14. I feel lost. I feel like I want to go back and live my life again because a part of me feels like I didn't live long enough there before.